My furbaby passed away last week

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helen098
Posts: 2009
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:07 pm
Location: Forest Hills New York

My furbaby passed away last week

Postby helen098 » Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:43 pm

Last week we had to put my 19 1/2 year old Chihuahua to sleep
He had many health issues and the last day wasn’t eating drinking or able to stand up
He couldn’t get him to his vet and had to go to a local vet
Jerry was mostly blind had major hearing loss
A hole around his heart arthritis
Since his last vet visit a few weeks ago it seems like he was expecting liver failure
The vet said they could admiringly and give him fluids but ....
We already knew it was coming but it was so hard
After we made the decision the vet said he was pleased as he felt it was time but didn’t want to influence us
Jerry was kind of out of it but when they gave him the first shot to sedate him he cried and it broke my heart
I wanted to grab him from the vet and run home with him
I was able to hold him and talk and pat him thought and watch him take his last breath
We have had pets my whole life but I was never the one in the room at he last minute
It was the hardest thing I have ever done
Including cancer
During chemo Jerry was the only reason I got up most days
I had to keep going to take care of him

It’s been 11 days and I still cry every day
I almost can’t see the keyboard right now

Jerry was the best dog ever and life is empty without him
stage 3A surgery 6/6/6 finished chemo jan 07
11 5FU/12 Levcouorin/10oxaliplatim
port removed jun 07
anal fistula surgery oct 05 may 07 feb 08 sep 08 jun 09

bitchslapped
Posts: 1538
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby bitchslapped » Sat Sep 15, 2018 8:11 pm

Helen, Having an aging pet of my own, I can feel your pain through your words. It's hard to know "when", but I sometimes feel we wait too long. Tough, tough decision. I already know my Little Chloe is losing some eyesight & hearing, has arthritis too like yours.

Your description of the first shot breaks my heart.

You came to the right place, as we do love our furbabies here.

My sympathies for your loss.

BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp, diverticulitis
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07, lvr, billiary tree fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia

MissMolly
Posts: 645
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 4:33 pm
Location: Portland, Ore

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby MissMolly » Sat Sep 15, 2018 8:34 pm

Helen:
Losing a companion pet can feel like losing a part of yourself. I am so sorry for your loss of dear Jerry.

Reading your post transported me back in time to this past December when my tea-cup Maltese, Molly, passed away at the age of 16. This little dog was my soul-mate, faithful 100% through my multiple health challenges.

The bond with a companion pet is like no other.

Find comfort in knowing that Jerry’s spirit will always be with you. His pawprint is forever on your heart.

Know that the depth of your grief is understood by those of us who have shared life with a beloved pet. Blessings to Jerry. Blessings to you.
Karen
Dear friend to Bella Piazza, former Colon Club member (NWGirl).
I have a permanent ileostomy and offer advice on living with an ostomy - in loving remembrance of Bella
I am on Palliative Care for broad endocrine failure + Addison's disease + osteonecrosis of both hips/jaw + immunosuppression. I live a simple life due to frail health.

User avatar
CRguy
Posts: 10473
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby CRguy » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:20 pm

helen098 wrote:Jerry was the best dog ever and life is empty without him


So very sorry for your loss my friend.

As you well know, as a vet I have been on both sides of "that" table and believe me it is not easy on either side
Fur Buddies are family and sometimes THE bright life in some of our Journeys.
I do recall we chatted about whether it was Jerry or me who was seeing more "flying monkeys" when I was coming down off dex

Jerry lives inside your heart and always will
Know that forever

Here with you in Harmony
CRguy
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
17 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

heiders33
Posts: 363
Joined: Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:08 am

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby heiders33 » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:45 pm

So sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking. In August I had to say goodbye to my cat of ten years, the only pet I’ve ever owned. He had similar symptoms in the last days - couldn’t eat or walk. I too was in the room with him when the vet gave him the injection. It was the saddest thing I have ever experienced, and I still cry when I think about it.
40 year-old female
May 2017: Dx rectal cancer T3N2M0
MSS, KRAS G12D
6/17: 28 days chemorad
9/17: LAR/loop ileostomy, CAPOX six rounds
3/18: reversal
9/18: liver met, resection/HAI pump, 11 rounds 5FU, 1 round FUDR
11/19 - local recurrence, brachytherapy, 3 weeks targeted radiation
12/21 - end colostomy

AppleTree
Posts: 267
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 8:16 am

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby AppleTree » Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:17 am

I am so sorry. Pets are family. I totally understand your heartbreak. Hugs.
Diag Feb 5, 2016 Age 45
3 cm tumor 5 cm from verge
Radiation + Xeloda pills - 3000mg 5x week
3/14 - 4/16 - 25 sessions
Shrank just over 50% L nodes 0/13
Remove rectum with temp Ileo 6/17
Reversal 7/20 due to infection
Acute hepatitis August. Chemo cancelled
June to September 2016 - 58 days in hospital

2017
6/16, MRI shadow in lung
Pet - 6.6mm Met in Upper R lobe
7/30 VAT surgery Mass General/Boston
8/24 port
8/30 - 4/28 Folfox. 12 rounds
2018
June CT shows new lung Mets.
July/Oct PETs...CLEAR!

helen098
Posts: 2009
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:07 pm
Location: Forest Hills New York

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby helen098 » Sun Sep 16, 2018 6:59 am

Thank you for all of your support
It has been a difficult year with Jerry
We started the year off on a bitterly cold day
Going to every local cvs to find a dog bed as he had an accident
New dog bed then one with a removable washable cover
At first he was getting up every few hours to use the pad
It was too many times to take him out
Then he needed the tv on at night so he could find the pad and water
Then the kitchen light also needed to be on
Then he started not being able to get out of bed in time so in addition to the washable cover we used old shirts he always liked to sleep with items of clothing that smelt like us
Then he started setting the bed every 2 hours
For a good 6 months I didn’t sleep more than 2 hours straight
He was a very fussy eater as he got older
For the first 12 years or so he would eat almost any vegetable
He loved vegetables more than meat or even treats
He wasn’t in pain other than the normal ageing till the end
The vet said his heartbeat was still strong

His vet had told us in early Jerry that we could have put him to sleep at anytime
If we felt it was too much for him or us
We decided to do everything we could for our friend and we did

I know it was time to have keep him in the hospital would have only been for us not for him
I couldn’t let him die alone in a cage I had to be with him at the end
Eventhough the image of him on the table will be with me for the rest of my
Life



L
stage 3A surgery 6/6/6 finished chemo jan 07
11 5FU/12 Levcouorin/10oxaliplatim
port removed jun 07
anal fistula surgery oct 05 may 07 feb 08 sep 08 jun 09

User avatar
Atoq
Posts: 412
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2017 9:31 am

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby Atoq » Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:16 pm

It is so hard to miss a furry friend! I have also one that is soon 13 and only 4 years ago I missed my husky Atoq who was 16. A big hug from us!

Claudia
1972, 2 kids
Dx rectal cancer 10.2017
T3N2aMX (met left lung 8 mm)
Lynch neg
CEA 1.8
Neoadjuvant chemoradio Xeloda + 25x2 Gy
05.12.17 laparotomic surg. for blockage, colostomy
25.01.18 laparotomic lar, hysterectomy, ileostomy
05.03.18 core needle lung biopsy
07.05.18 CAT scan, lung met 11 mm
04.06.18 ileo reversal
26.06.18 wedge VATS
24.08.18, 31.02.19 CAT scan
12.09.18, 06.02.19 scope, CEA 1.6
19.11.18 scope
20.08.19 CAT, eco
13.09.19 scope, CEA 1.2
18.03.20 CAT, eco, scope, NED
29.11.20 CAT, NED
2023 NED

teri3
Posts: 405
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2015 11:03 am

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby teri3 » Sun Sep 16, 2018 8:07 pm

Heart breaking.... I lost my dog Moose 27 years ago and still cry every time I talk about her...im tearing up now... They find a way to work into your and soul and make it so hard not to miss them with every fiber of your being. ((HUGS)) Keep Jerry close in your heart and soul.

Teri
58 yrs old female
MSS KRAS mutation G12V
adenocarcinoma sigmoid colon dx 11-14
sigmoidectomy 11-14
Stage 3A
3 out of 20 lymph nodes involved
started FolFox 1-27-15
11 rounds FOLFOX last one 6-30-2015
7-29-2015 PET clear
5-14-2016 CT 2 nodules one in each lung
Confirmed pulmonary metastasis stage 4
FOLFIRi + Avistin started 8-16 11 rounds complete 12-16
CT 12-16 nodules shrunk chemo break wait and see :?
CT growth
VATS l lung 4 10 17
VATS r lung 4 24 17
CT 2 nodules r up and l low :(

DarknessEmbraced
Posts: 3816
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:54 pm
Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Mon Sep 17, 2018 10:05 am

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dog!*hugs*
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17
NED 12/21/18
Clear colonoscopy 09/23/19
Clear 5 year scans 11/21/19- Considered cured! :)

helen098
Posts: 2009
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:07 pm
Location: Forest Hills New York

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby helen098 » Mon Sep 17, 2018 10:07 am

i have to mention again how great the vet and staff were
they never meet Jerry before but genuinely seemed upset at his passing

when the vet came Jerry the second shot he patted him on the head and said you are free now
i cried, the nurse cried ....the vet seemed to be on the verge of crying also

when we first walked in there was a man with a small dog, he started asking question about Jerry and i started to cry ,
the man then was crying for Jerry and holding his dog so tight i thought it would cry.
on the way out a woman with a cat in a carrier, who must have been in another room walked passed my saying she was so sorry and she was crying also

always something weird happens to me and my baby Jerry of course

We decided on the private cremation and will get his ashes, at first we were told it would take 2 to 3 weeks.
Then when we paid we were told about a week and 1/2 , we will call you.

Jerry died late in the evening on Sep 4, so i called last thursday to see if the asses were back.
At first they could not find his file, i was calm but inside thinking what the hell how many little white chihuahuas called Jerry did you kill on sep4.
After a minute or two then found the file, had the name slightly wrong, then when they called the crematorium
they told me Jerry had just arrived and it would take a week or two.
I assume they only have one pick up a week and the holiday messed up the schedule, glad i didn't realize this before
going home knowing he was in the freezer for a long time would have been too much to bear.

not that there's anything to do or be upset about at this point but it seems like a long time
any profession opinions on this?

thanks for all the support - i need it
stage 3A surgery 6/6/6 finished chemo jan 07
11 5FU/12 Levcouorin/10oxaliplatim
port removed jun 07
anal fistula surgery oct 05 may 07 feb 08 sep 08 jun 09

Jannine
Posts: 204
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:46 am
Location: Maryland, USA

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby Jannine » Mon Sep 17, 2018 12:09 pm

I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Jerry. We had a redbone coonhound for 17 years; normal life expectancy for them is more like 14 years. We did not get a lot of sleep the last year he was alive, he just needed to go out more often, and as a 60-pound dog in a one-bedroom condo he was too big for us to handle that need inside our home. He was a sweet, lovable dog who never met a stranger.

It's always hard to let a beloved pet go, but at some point the time does come, unfortunately. You did the best you could to keep Jerry comfortable and loved, and that is huge. He knew how much you cared about him.

Hugs for you in this difficult time.
DX: sigmoid colon cancer 5/2018. 48 F
laparoscopic sigmoid resection (24 cm removed); no stoma.
7.5cm adenocarcinoma -- mod. diff.
1 noncontiguous tumor deposit removed; 0/31 lymph nodes
T3 pN1c M0
5/18 before surgery, CEA 11.2
6/18 began FOLFOX
7/18: CEA 1.9; added neulasta post infusion
9/18: CEA 2.8
10/18: 25% chemo reduction
11/18: CEA 1.8
7/19 CT scan clear

bitchslapped
Posts: 1538
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: My furbaby passed away last week

Postby bitchslapped » Mon Sep 17, 2018 12:24 pm

helen098 wrote:New dog bed then one with a removable washable cover
helen098 wrote:Then he started not being able to get out of bed in time so in addition to the washable cover we used old shirts he always liked to sleep with items of clothing that smelt like us


That's quite an ordeal you outlined above & I appreciated the read. From my caregiving days I think my views may differ slightly from some on QOL. Also, I try to keep her stress levels down. Her tolerance for grooming i.e., teeth brushing, bathing, nail clipping has lowered considerably. So I choose to medicate her prior. She's still doing fairly well @ age 15 however her vet certainly has a strong sense of what those QOL views might be since she has a rather large medical history. When that times approaches I w/b the first to address those issues, solicit her opinion & go from there. Dreading it. I will not handle it well. The thing about pets, it's they never seem to grow up in our minds; they are always our babies.

I use those disposable "chucks" on Chloe's bed wrapped around a block cut out of the foam bed topper that Hospice uses, then the whole maryann stuffed in a flannel pillowcase. It is more firm, probably better for her back (according to the vet) since as a Doxie, she is a little long in the waist. Pain meds sometimes makes her sleep rather soundly.

Certainly I am not a "pro", but as a pet owner it would bother me too that cremation process seems long. But again, it seems that way with everything, doesn't it? Have you considered looking into/reading up on some of the pet grieving websites for additional support?

Again, sending my sympathies & Best Wishes in healing,
BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp, diverticulitis
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07, lvr, billiary tree fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia


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