With apologies to the Bare Naked Ladies, but...
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:23 pm
....it's been 4 weeks since you disconnected me...
and I'm just not feeling it. No sense of relief that I'm done chemo, no real sense of accomplishment, just this lingering feeling there's still something wrong inside me. My post chemo CT scan was clear, but I am scheduled next Thursday for a PET because my CEA levels are still going up.
I don't have the constant nausea, and my brain feels much, much clearer but physically I feel possibly worse than before the colectomy. No stamina, still unable to sleep for 8 hours straight, aches and pains everywhere, full blown neuropathy that showed up after round 10 accompanied by a lack of balance. Cold drinks still numb my lips and my interest in food is only because I know I should eat. The really weird thing is that sometimes I look at my arm and miss my PICC line as I knew it was there to help me slay the beast.
I know many others here are going through much worse and I really am trying to "suck it up, buttercup"...
mob
For those that don't know "the Ladies" here's the song that I sort of channelled...
https://youtu.be/fC_q9KPczAg
and I'm just not feeling it. No sense of relief that I'm done chemo, no real sense of accomplishment, just this lingering feeling there's still something wrong inside me. My post chemo CT scan was clear, but I am scheduled next Thursday for a PET because my CEA levels are still going up.
I don't have the constant nausea, and my brain feels much, much clearer but physically I feel possibly worse than before the colectomy. No stamina, still unable to sleep for 8 hours straight, aches and pains everywhere, full blown neuropathy that showed up after round 10 accompanied by a lack of balance. Cold drinks still numb my lips and my interest in food is only because I know I should eat. The really weird thing is that sometimes I look at my arm and miss my PICC line as I knew it was there to help me slay the beast.
I know many others here are going through much worse and I really am trying to "suck it up, buttercup"...
mob
For those that don't know "the Ladies" here's the song that I sort of channelled...
https://youtu.be/fC_q9KPczAg