heiders33 wrote:... but what do you say to that when you’ve spent all week in appointments planning for your next round of cancer treatment? “Yes, everything is fine, don’t worry.”
heiders33 wrote:My favorite thing (not) is when I get back to work from a doctor’s appointment and my coworkers ask “is everything okay?” No, everything has not been okay for some time now!
mobrouser wrote:I too have developed a very low tolerance levels for assholes but mostly keep it to myself.
Other than my clients and family I have told very few people about my cancer. And other than my oncologist, no one knows what stage I was diagnosed at not even family and husband. (That's a completely different story). I haven't shared it and only one client out of everyone who knows has asked. I was able to brush the question aside and it hasn't been asked since.
I've been told I look really good for someone going through chemo, and while I disagree, I take it as a compliment and believe that it is well intentioned. I learned over the chemo period that 2 of my clients were using my cancer card on their clients as an excuse for stuff that they should have dealt with. That pissed me off.
What really burns me though is that 2 weeks ago I had my post chemo CT scan review with my oncologist. My husband knew about it but didn't make the effort to find out what time it was or if I wanted him to come with me. I went alone. After the appointment I sent an email to my MIL outlining the results and next steps. I cc'd husband so that he would have the details of what I told her as she phones him every night before I get home from work. Apparently she bitched to him that I was so rude to send it by email and that I should have phoned them both to let them know. Although I didn't say anything, I was wondering why she wasn't equally as perturbed that her beloved son couldn't be bothered to attend and hear the results first hand.
mob
Soccermom2boys wrote:Here are a few basic need-to-knows about cancer: first, it’s NEVER fine. It is insidious, and a cancer diagnosis stays with you for life. Yes, you celebrate milestones of getting past it at its various stages, but the fear of recurrence is always with you; every second of every minute of every day. AND the physical, mental, and emotional effects of pumping actual poison (or radiation or cutting up your organs) into your body to eradicate the cancer NEVER go away. They say 1 year of chemotherapy ages you 10 years.
OSM, thank you so much for the link to Stacy’s blog. Wow, just wow! What I have copied above from her post in that link—I seriously want to have that copied on small business cards to just hand out to everyone who knows I had cancer and inquire about how I am doing.
For a group of people I will never in all likelihood ever meet in person, boy do I feel so connected to in a way I cannot with those nearest and dearest to me in my heart.
lovelife789 wrote:
"You can try chemo, it may not work or it may, it is very hard. If it doesn't work, you may die in 6 months. 5 yr survival rate is 6% for you. Any other question? You know I don't know if you will still be around the next time I come to this hospital or treat you at my clinic"
mhf1986 wrote:How do caregivers respond when asked, "How are you?" My honest thought is "How the bleep do you think I am?"
How do you respond to "How many more chemo treatments?" or "How much more chemo is required?" when the answer is forever? I once responded "Til it doesn't work anymore" and the woman ran.
I am back working part time so some people assume DH has been cured. Including the Executive who said, "he must be well now." DH is working part-time so I might as well too.
Sigh, sorry for the rant.
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