Young mom, terrified I have cancer

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Young mom, terrified I have cancer

Postby Mamajones » Sat Jul 21, 2018 1:17 am

Hello all,

I have had narrow stools for several months, which have progressively gotten worse. I went to a gastroenterologist just over a month ago, who said to wait and see if symptoms would diminish. If not, I would need a colonoscopy. I’m now waiting on my referral appointment with another GE (we relocated) to get a colonoscopy.

I also have what I always assumed were hemerrhoids. Now I’m of course worried they are cancer. I finally let myself look at them, and they don’t look red or swollen like pictures of hemerrhoids I see online.

The last few days, even with a laxitive, it is incredibly difficult to have a bowel movement. I strain to pass anything. I do think my stool looks a little mucousy, but I don’t have any bleeding. I also have very little appetite, and have had nausea the last couple days. Maybe it’s anxiety?

I have been under a great deal of stress (my sister died about 5 months ago, and I have become guardian of her 16 and 12 year old...and had to relocate them from Texas to Hawaii, where I live).

I’m only 29, and don’t have family history that I know of. I have two young children (3 and 5) in addition to my niece and nephew. We live FAR from family, so I’m worried about what will happen if I am sick or if I die. I also don’t know what kind of medical care we will have here. Second opinions may not be an option if something is wrong.

But honestly I am just scared. I don’t know if anyone else has young kids, or extra kids, and has gotten a diagnosis. How do you tell them? I really hope I don’t have cancer, but I just have this sinking feeling that I do. I can’t stop thinking about it, and I am now laying in bed, crying and avoiding everyone to write this. Any advice while I wait on my appointment?

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Facebook Username: stacy

Re: Young mom, terrified I have cancer

Postby ocstacy » Sat Jul 21, 2018 3:00 am

Please get a colonoscopy like I did because I had hemmy's too. The polyp was benign but my mom's wasn't. She had stage 3, but now in remission and having reversal in 4 days. I wish you the best. This is a good support group.
Caregiver/daughter to dear mother age 78, dx 5/09/17 because of me!! :wink:
Rectal CA Stage 3 low-grade adenocarcinoma- 6 cm
Neoadjuvant start 7/10/17 ended 08/16/17
3D Lap. surgery @ Keck USC, Dr. Sang Lee 10/17/17 temp ileostomy
11/1 hospitalized abscess/hernia - back home 11/06/17 antibiotics
Took her last chemo med 05/10/18! Ileostomy reversal 07/24/18
First BM after reversal 07/25/18
Me: 1st Colonoscopy age 38. 08/17 Benign polp.

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Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:22 am

Re: Young mom, terrified I have cancer

Postby thubler » Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:41 am


I am now 38, but I was diagnosed with colon cancer at 35. My wife just had our fourth kid three months prior to diagnosis. It really came out of no where for me because I didn't really have "classic" symptoms but in hindsight I should have known something was wrong. My oldest kiddo was 8 at the time so she was really the only one that understood something was up. We told her I had cancer but she obviously did not fully understand the gravity of what was happening, we basically told the kids that Daddy was sick and I needed medicine to get better. Then we explained that chemo would make me very tired. They were so young so we were able to keep it basic.

At this point you need to take a breath and try and relax. You are worrying about something that you may not even have. I know that is easier said that done! Prayers that this is nothing!

III b CC @ 35 yoa.
two primary tumors on ascending/transverse stage 1 and stage 3.
Lynch Positive
Resection 05/16
2/41 nodes +
FOLFOX 6/16-11/20/16
Clear Endoscopy and Colonoscopy 12/6/16, 02/13/18
CT 02/07/17 enlarged mesenteric node.
Clear PET 02/15/17
Stable CT 06/05/17,10/16/17,04/02/18
Deported 11/03/17

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Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: Young mom, terrified I have cancer

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Sat Jul 21, 2018 10:33 am

I'm sorry you're going through this and hope you won't have to wait long for a colonoscopy!*hugs*
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17

Posts: 89
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:40 am

Re: Young mom, terrified I have cancer

Postby boxhill » Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:05 pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister.

I can only tell you what I told myself when I was in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery and waiting for pathology to confirm the cancer diagnosis and stage me: try not to freak out before you know for certain that you have reason to. And even if you get bad news, allow yourself to wallow for a few hours and then put those thoughts out of your head and concentrate on surviving.

I know that is hard to do. Right now, you should get out of bed and try to do something fun and positive with those wonderful kids. Accept support from people who are caring and positive, and don't let people boohoo over you and bring you down.

Bear in mind that even if you do have colon cancer, the cure rate, especially for the earlier stages, is really good, much better than it used to be. The medicine is evolving quickly. You are young and strong. You can do this.

Hugs, and best of luck.
F, 64 at DX CRC Stage IV (or "3 1/2" per Dana Farber consult, LOL)
3/17/18 blockage, emergency surgery, r hemicolectomy
11 of 25 nodes
5 of 5 mesentery nodes, matted
0.5 cm sub-capsular liver met removed
pT3 pN2b pM1
Neg CEA, neg BRAF, mut KRAS, germline mut ATM
dMMR, MSI-H, Neg for Lynch
5/4/18 FOLFOX started
Added Neulasta 6/28/18
7/9/18 CT scans show no masses or enlarged nodes, 2mm indeterminate lung nodule

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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:31 am

Re: Young mom, terrified I have cancer

Postby zephyr » Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:39 pm

I know you're scared and I think it's human nature to jump to the worst case scenario but here's the best advice I was given when I was diagnosed: don't get ahead of the data. In my experience, you can make yourself crazy with what-ifs and worry. Often our imagination is worse than reality. You're in an especially vulnerable place because of the loss of your sister, and I'm so sorry for your loss. But try - I know it's hard - to assume the best until there's data to the contrary.

Just my opinion, hope it helps.
Oct-2009 Stage I CC
Jun-2016 Stage 3 (T3 N1c)
Jun-2016 Surgery
Jul-2016 PET: Probable Stage 4 with inoperable lung mets
Aug-2016 Folfox
Jan-2017 Dropped oxaliplatin, continuing with 5FU, added Avastin
Aug-2017 Dropped Avastin, continuing with 5FU
Dec-2017 Chemo stopped working, lung mets growing but CEA stable, considering other treatment options
Jan-2018 Begin Folfiri & Cyramza (ramucirumab); also receiving Vitamin C & Quercetin by IV every week
Jun-2018 Taking a chemo break; preparing for surgery

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