I am so sorry to read what you are going through. It is difficult for you to experience, but know that your Mother lives in you every day in what you do and how you respond to trying times such as this...There will be many as you age and grow forward in life. If you are blessed with children or younger nieces and nephews, they too will learn from how you respond to these difficult times and how you carry on to the next day.
Life is not easy, especially with sickness and loved ones we are witnessing going through difficulties that love and medicine sometimes can not cure. Make sure you take care of your self both mentally and physically. You will move forward knowing that your Mom's love will always be a part of everything you do in living your life. Love is never a wasted effort. Be happy that LOVE is present in your heart and will be present in all that you do going forward... My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
D/H 47 years old, 10/2014, Stage IV M/CRC, nodes 12/15, para-aortic, 5 cm sigmoid resection, positive Virchow. KRAS mut, MSS, Highly Differentiated, Lynch Neg, 5FU/LV and Avastin 1 YR (Oxi for 5 months), Zeloda/Bev since 01/2016. 02/2019 recurrence para-nodes, back to 5FU/LV Oxy/Bev. It is working again. "...Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other."-Walter Elliot