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Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:41 pm
by SteveNZ
DAY 6 -Since Radiation Therapy
SNIFF... Sob... OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :( :shock: :( :( :( :(
WOW it hurts like ...... to pass faeces. All the numbing drugs and all.

And when you start you just can't say '..time to stop now relax..'. Partly because some of the muscle motion seems automatic in there and partly because it is so, so painful to have muck stuck in the painful area. It won't move back so you just have to whimper and push it forward or else scream away inside....
All sorts of mucus and muck as well (I was warned about it all) BUT so, so unpleasant.

After the 20minute event I just feel so tired (honestly panting..oh brother), shaking and nauseas!
I can grit my teeth so to speak but you cannot turn off the underlying bodily reaction (almost like being in shock ?????) that just plods along.....YUK

Feeling much, much better now even over the time writing this.
Now for a clean up of my rear end etc..... A fair bit of radiation burning, skin cracking etc :(

Welcome Steve to the world of fighting colon-rectal cancer. And I am winning pain and all.
Thank you folk for being there to listen.... You are all such a great team.... :D

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:44 pm
by NHMike
One of the responses that I had to the pain was to stop eating. Of course that's not sustainable.

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:35 pm
by SteveNZ
NHMike wrote:One of the responses that I had to the pain was to stop eating. Of course that's not sustainable.

They advised me to try hard to keep things moving.
I admit though I have slowed right down with eating to have as few 'rear end events' as possible. But the thought of getting myself bunged up and having to aggressively start it all again freaks me out..... that will really hurt.

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2018 5:36 pm
by SteveNZ
DAY 10 after radiation - Things have 'just' calmed a bit but WOW I have one painful digestive system.
Am being careful what I eat but after I eat or drink anything it all moves a bit inside and has you whimpering. It is OK I just am a bit demonstrative during such times. Especially when on the seat attempting to pass a poo! :(

The radiation must do quite a job on various healthy tissues as it also fights the cancer.

This sounds silly but the wait until my operation (tumour very low in my rectum with all it means) is not a nice time to go through.
It is almost like being in a prison awaiting some form of future punishment with the clock ticking away. I knew well beforehand the necessary steps to beat this thing but never realised how drawn out it can be. There is also so much of this unknown '..must wait and see..' atmosphere as until the surgeon opens me up he will not know for sure what is what.

Yet I am a lucky one with a great chance of beating this. :D
Thanks for all being there....

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2018 5:44 pm
by Caat55
Yes, everything feels drawn out. I feel your pain, literally. It is really important to use this time to heal the areas damaged by the radiation. For me, after surgery my issues flared up a little down there. Also, the diet after surgery is restrictive so eat things like fresh fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds now.
S

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2018 5:59 pm
by NHMike
I had a scan done shortly before surgery so that the surgeon had a better idea as to what she would be working with. She was upbeat and positive. I would have been a nervous wreck but I went running and playing tennis and that kept my mind from becoming a nervous wreck.

It is very long. I'm almost at the end of Adjuvant Chemo - and coming up on my 1-year anniversary of the diagnosis.

So we've been there and know how it feels and how rough it is. But really big numbers of people get through it as I'm sure that you will too.

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:29 pm
by mobrouser
This may sound odd, but I found that Lamaze type breathing exercises are helpful - as a distraction from the pain and to help with pushing.

8) mob

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:31 pm
by SteveNZ
mobrouser wrote:This may sound odd, but I found that Lamaze type breathing exercises are helpful - as a distraction from the pain and to help with pushing.

8) mob

Haha .... I was doing so anyway. Pushing out sounded so much like what ladies go through in child birth so I looked at the techniques and at hospital they showed me some tricks also. It does sound odd but the pain requires all the help you can give.

I feel I am over the worst of it now and hopefully things get a bit better. :D

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:47 pm
by NHMike
SteveNZ wrote:
mobrouser wrote:This may sound odd, but I found that Lamaze type breathing exercises are helpful - as a distraction from the pain and to help with pushing.

8) mob

Haha .... I was doing so anyway. Pushing out sounded so much like what ladies go through in child birth so I looked at the techniques and at hospital they showed me some tricks also. It does sound odd but the pain requires all the help you can give.

I feel I am over the worst of it now and hopefully things get a bit better. :D


Things got better for me quite quickly in the second and third weeks. In fact I felt like my old self between then and surgery.

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:16 pm
by SteveNZ
HURRAY things are getting better...... :D :D
I have an awful sore guts, especially after meals, as things move around down there.
But 'pooing' is no longer the terrible agony it was, just sore.

ISSUE-I just seem to automatically get constipated and need medication to keep it all soft (I thought my wiser diet would help more) and force things to move. Even then to remove the plug is 'one painful push'.

Thank you all for being there. :D
Steve

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:59 am
by retiredteacher
Steve, this radiation neoadjuvant phase is the most difficult, I believe, for all the reasons you have so colorfully and accurately described. Are you walking much? It's a decent way to keep the guts awake and working ... hydration also help .... congrats on making it around this corner!

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 6:14 am
by SteveNZ
Passing Poo Problems - haha I like the rhyme.

For some reason as I now heal from radiation I have pretty well no feeling in my rectum?? From pain straight after to nothing three weeks down the track. Seriously today I had to look in the bowl (or hear the sound of it falling) to know if I have passed anything. I cannot feel when I am full (but I know from time without passing plus something like stomach cramps) nor do I feel much at all flow when I push? Only really solid lumps give me a form of sensation right near the outside.
Having said that I also need a fair bit of medication plus liquid to keep things moving through my bowel at all so things are finally soft.

Has anyone met this? It is a bit freaky as I can fill my pants very easily and must never ever fart. I just comes out a bit just by passing urine. YUCK...!?

JUST EDITED 17th June- It seems to be that soft faeces is not enough (????????) to trigger the, 'I am full time to poo' response. Only when blocked with pretty awful solids do I get the urge. By then my whole 'guts' is also in pain letting me know I am blocked. Rats...... I need to regularly take medication to that similar to before the colonoscopy (called Molaxole here) just to be regular. We will get there.

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2018 4:24 pm
by SteveNZ
3 weeks out from radiation-Just a note things are now much better.
Things hurt down below but nothing like before.

It all now feels like one big bruise over most of my rear end for some reason?! And my bowel does not seem to want to function without a fair bit of medication to keep things moving. Apparently not out of place.
Thanks folk for being there.

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2018 7:04 pm
by Caat55
Kiwis, apricots and plenty of water did the trick for me. Hang in there Steve.

Re: The Miseries - But 'Hey I have it pretty good...'

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 4:30 pm
by SteveNZ
Hurray get to see the surgeon on Tuesday. :D
And Monday they want to give me a 24hr halter monitor to check out my heart. Nothing drastic at all. After the TIA on chemo plus other issues at the time, they want to be sure all is sitting well. Other tests showed I have a great heart so that is good news.

Oh Brother ... ITCHING - It sounds weird but I have this strong 'itching' sensation inside somewhere. I want to push/squirm my guts a bit when it happens. :D Haha it is not like a back where you can find some stick or something to scratch it. I assume all part of the healing process.