Hello,
I'm new here although I've been reading the board for the past three weeks, ever since my mom had a colonoscopy and it showed a secum mass, which ended up being malignant. She had a right hemi two weeks ago and spent six days in the hospital recovering. My mom is 75 and in good health, although she smoked for 50 years. She hasn't been in a hospital since the '70s and doesn't take any meds. So she really is in remarkable health given her age and smoking history.
The pathology from the surgery came back T4N1M0. The tumor had grown into her abdomen wall and ileum. Fifteen nodes were checked and one showed signs of cancer.
My mom is very naive when it comes to medical stuff. She's never sick and doesn't go for regular check ups. She'd never had a colonoscopy until she finally went to the doctor because the pain in her right side was becoming unbearable. (It is so frustrating to me that mom never, ever puts herself first and does not go to the doctor because she doesn't want to be a "bother" when she says she feels just fine.)
We don't have a meeting with an oncologist yet, but will have one this week (waiting for call tomorrow). I live on the opposite coast from my mother but flew out here to be with her for surgery and now her follow up appointments. I'm going to stay at least until she starts chemo so I can help see her through the first couple weeks. I have a husband, child, grandchild and job back home so I can't stay here indefinitely. I have a brother (who is awesome) and two aunts that are here and will help any way they can. Plus my mom has a couple friends that will be good support.
I'm all over the page and my post probably doesn't make sense. I have a million questions. The pathology didn't come back with a "stage" and the surgeon said it was either 3b or 3c. I guess the oncologist will confirm that but I've been convinced it's 3b, for obvious reasons. Now I'm reading more about the T4N1M0 report and I'm thinking it's more likely she's 3c. Does anyone know?
Can someone tell me what the typical chemo treatment will be like? What is the protocol? How many days on and how many days off? I can't seem to find those answers. I'm sure it's probably different for everyone, although much of what I read says treatment is pretty standard.
My mom is the sweetest, kindest person. I absolutely kills me to see her in pain or think of her being scared. Her pain is mostly gone now but I know she is scared, as we all are. She doesn't want to do any internet research, which in her case is probably a good thing since she won't understand what she is reading and will end up misreading something and thinking the worst.
This sounds so stupid but I don't know what I don't know. We've never had cancer in our family. (My grandmother--mom's mom--is 96 and other than losing her hearing, she's fine and still lives by herself!). I don't know what are the most important things for me to know in order to help my mom. I eventually have to go back home and I'm feeling guilty about not being here the whole time with her, although my mom has done nothing to make me feel guilty. She is so grateful that I am here to help. I plan to visit as frequently as I can, but this just sucks on every level.
Any advice on anything?
My heart goes out to everyone who is fighting this terrible disease.