The Colon Club

Thank you Shana. I so appreciate you taking time to write as you fight your own battles. I hope and pray that your upcoming surgery goes well.

NHMike wrote:Your son sounds like me though a lot younger. My treatment chemo + radiation, surgery and then Xeloda+Oxaliplatin for six months. I have another two months to go and the chemo makes me feel pretty crappy. But I'm working five+ days a week as well with a lot of other responsibilities. I would guess that my mother has had a lot of concerns similar to yours.

I try to explain things to those that ask (coworkers, friends, family) in a matter-of-fact way as a lot of people are quite uncomfortable talking about cancer with others and I try to put them at ease.

One thing that helps is talking with others going through the same thing and there are lots of such folks here. Your son might be on the private side but maybe he'd be okay with posting on a forum like this one. He might find some benefit in helping others with their journey as well.

There's a ton of emotional stuff that you go through, no matter how strong you are, and sometimes a close friend to chat helps. I hope that he has such people in his life.

Thanks NHMike for taking the time to write and encourage. Yes, there are similarities in the journey shared by my son and you. I feel quite sure that my son talks with his girlfriend -- I hope so anyway. My husband died of cancer (not GI-related)12 yr ago t his month so I think my son doesn't want me going through all that again with him. I'm a retired ARNP, been a RN for 50+ years so I understand the medical part and some of what he is dealing with physically and emotionally. I know the journey is different for the individual and my son is pretty much a keep to himself type. I continue to pray and help when he wants me to.

I was 39 when I was diagnosed and my family had just lost my Father to cancer just over 1 year prior.
I ran, and still do, my own business with about 13 staff at that time.
My view on this, is totally based on my own family, is that my Mother was struggling with her own issues, and nobody in my family was emotionally capable of dealing with the issues I faced. I chose to protect my family, especially my Mother, by keeping things as simple and as positive as I could. It worked, and fortunately I was cancer free at my last scan so I seem to be doing well.
I talked to my wife a lot, and the rest of the emotion that I felt overwhelmed with went into working, and exercising. In fact, exercise became, and still is, a solace to me.
I could get away from everyone else's emotions, fears, desires, wants etc, and just deal with things myself.
Perhaps your son is similar, but obviously only he can tell.
Perhaps he wants to protect you and look after his Mum.
Perhaps his work is solace, or perhaps it gives him some feeling of normalcy in a life that is no longer normal.
As others have mentioned us guys tend to bottle things up and hold on to the emotions a little. For me, treatment was tough but I had a plan, I had a target, the doctors told me what I needed to do. My wife helped improve my diet and really gave me a positive mindset but it was a lot harder for me after treatment when there was no safety net and an extremely high chance of recurrence.
Your son may need your help post treatment.
Please keep on letting us know how you go, and how your son goes.

Hi from New Zealand.
Am thinking of you and praying for you both.

I recently (March 2018) was diagnosed with bowel-rectal cancer following a colonoscopy, due to bleeding. It is a shock and for us guys we just get on with it while issues simmer away in the background getting sorted one at a time.
The hardest thing was telling my aged Dad. I almost feel guilty getting the cancer and having to tell him.
Also my lovely wife (I married a US lass) is taking it hard.

What an amazing Mom you are. I am almost envious as my mum died when I was 12.
You aren't forgotten, please be strong and laugh with your son when you can.
All of the 'guy jokes' about not being able to fart again (have they come yet) are part of coping and accepting things.

Bless you heaps
Steve

I'm the original poster. I'm replying because I cannot find where to begin a new topic. I read in FAQ to "click on new topic"...but where is it?

I'm writing for some advice/support/help for my 46 yr old son with Stg III colon cancer. He had a CT about 3 weeks ago and told me all was fine. I was about to leave for a 3 wk visit to my daughter and her family. Now that I'm back he tells me the CT showed spots on his liver. I'm pretty sure he said plural.

What happens now with this liver thing? He's on FOLFOX. Does this mean it's not working? I'm scared. He sees the onco this week and doesn't want me to go with him.

Caat55 wrote:Hang in there mom. Trust your son. For me going forward with my life is one of the best things I can do. I continue to say "cancer can only have this much" I show about an inch of space between my fingers. Living life normally despite all that is going on is important and bolsters the will to fight.
S

I totally agree with you, some of us like to continue life as normally as possible, and for someone this is the best way to go through all the surgeries and chemo and radio. As long as I am not in pain and I can walk, work, take care of my family, I feel blessed for it and don’t need any extra support from my mum or other relative and friends.

Claudia

Capri wrote:I'm the original poster. I'm replying because I cannot find where to begin a new topic. I read in FAQ to "click on new topic"...but where is it?

I'm writing for some advice/support/help for my 46 yr old son with Stg III colon cancer. He had a CT about 3 weeks ago and told me all was fine. I was about to leave for a 3 wk visit to my daughter and her family. Now that I'm back he tells me the CT showed spots on his liver. I'm pretty sure he said plural.

What happens now with this liver thing? He's on FOLFOX. Does this mean it's not working? I'm scared. He sees the onco this week and doesn't want me to go with him.

Hi Capri,
I am sorry I cannot give advice on this 'liver thing' as well as others. Many folk have been there in this forum and will share.
I think I know what your son is going through. If like me he is not ignoring you but thinks he is helping you through it all the best he can.
You are obviously a great concerned mum.
You are both in my prayers.

My concern is NOT that my son prefers to go to the next oncology appt alone, nor that he didn't tell me about his CT results until I returned from my trip. I fully support him working and doing whatever he can to keep his life as normal as possible and to control in it what he is able to control, make his own decisions on everything, including who he tells what and when.

My main concern is the new finding of a spot or spots on his liver and what happens next. I'm sure there are people on this forum who this has also happened too, and I would be interested in hearing what you encountered, other treatment options, if liver surgery is needed what type of surgeon is best to do it, and anything else you feel would be of help. Thank you.

Capri wrote:I'm the original poster. I'm replying because I cannot find where to begin a new topic. I read in FAQ to "click on new topic"...but where is it?.

The NewTopic link can be found both at the top left and at the bottom left of the Forum Index page. The Forum Index is here:
http://coloncancersupport.colonclub.com/viewforum.php?f=1

You cannot see the Forum Index while you are busy reading any posts. The Forum Index is one level higher than the posts themselves. The Forum Index only has titles. It doesn't show the text of any messages; it shows only the titles. If you are reading messages you won't be able to see the NewTopic button. To get to the Forum Index page you have to click on the Colon Talk - Colon cancer (colorectal cancer) support forum link which you will find at the top of the page of the message you are reading

Here is a direct link to the NewTopic creation page.

New Topic
http://coloncancersupport.colonclub.com/posting.php?mode=post&f=1

Capri wrote:.. My main concern is the new finding of a spot or spots on his liver and what happens next. I'm sure there are people on this forum who this has also happened to ..

There are different kinds of liver spots. Some may be benign (e.g., cysts, hemangiomas, etc.), while others may be malignant (e.g., metastases). If the spots are benign, the doctors probably won't do anything different right now. If the spots are malignant, then they will come up with a plan for dealing with them.

At this point in time the issue rests with the radiologist who interprets the scan. He/she is the one who has the expertise to tell the difference between the different kinds of spots. The wording on the CT scan report should give some indication of what kind of spot they think it is.

I have always had spots on my liver, but the doctors have never done anything about any of them.

Thank you O Stoma Mia for the "tech support" and for your post.

I know that my son has a liver hemangioma--the surgeon took a color photo of it during his resection surgery and showed it to me. Surgeon said there's nothing to do for it; just left it alone.
This is why this other spot (or spots) on the liver are very worrisome to me.

I had just been feeling optimistic for my son's longterm health and now this. I feel sad, deflated and very worried.

Liver abnormalities found on a CT scan can be justification to the insurance co for a liver MRI, which apparently gives a much clearer look at what's there.

Lots of people have benign liver spots, according to my CR surgeon, who specializes in liver surgery.

boxhill wrote:Liver abnormalities found on a CT scan can be justification to the insurance co for a liver MRI, which apparently gives a much clearer look at what's there.

Lots of people have benign liver spots, according to my CR surgeon, who specializes in liver surgery.

Thank you boxhill; I will pass this info on to my son.