Aqx99 wrote:I highly recommend finding an oncology counselor for him to talk to. I firmly believe that we all should be referred when we get diagnosed.
Shana wrote:Hi Capri,
I'm sure you have a million thoughts going through your head as a mom. It sounds like your son is doing well with his treatment. There is so much information that it can be overwhelming for patient and family.
This forum offers wonderful support as well as valuable information from fellow members with various stages of CRC. I understand your concerns about your son being stoic and not wanting to talk about how he feels. Everyone deals with the emotional side of cancer in their own way and all you can do is respect his wishes and be there when he eventually is ready to open up.
Welcome to the support group that no one wants to join but the best one out there! My best wishes to your son and your family for successful treatment. Hang in there!
Aqx99 wrote:I highly recommend finding an oncology counselor for him to talk to. I firmly believe that we all should be referred when we get diagnosed. Also, if there is a support group available, that will help as well. I attend a GI cancer support group every month at my cancer center. I started going right after I was diagnosed and haven't missed a meeting yet. It helps to be around others who have been there, or are currently going through the same thing. Our support group does break out sessions where the caregivers head to another room. That helps us to talk about things that maybe we don't want our loved ones to hear, and vice versa.
zephyr wrote:Aqx99 wrote:I highly recommend finding an oncology counselor for him to talk to. I firmly believe that we all should be referred when we get diagnosed.
Ditto, ditto, ditto. DITTO.
I have avoided giving my parents too much detail because I wanted to protect them. They were already so stressed and I didn't want to add to it by giving them troubling information about which they could do absolutely nothing except worry more. I guess I was protecting me too because it would surely affect my state of mind to hear the fear in their voices. There are dark thoughts I don't even tell my husband or closest friends because I don't want to put this on them ... those are the thoughts I take to the counselor.
The kindest thing my family & friends have done is to call and just talk about what's going on, as if I didn't have cancer. Dad likes to tell me about the latest interesting food or recipe he tried (I love to cook and he seems to be cooking a lot of things I can eat -- I'm pretty sure it's not coincidental) or his latest unusual fix-it solution, and that really lightens my mood. It's just nice to feel normal.
I don't know if what I'm about to write will be helpful or not but my oncologist told me about this article and it helped me, especially the last paragraph:
We're here for you.
michelle c wrote:Hi Capri,
I was diagnosed at age 44 and had a similar diagnosis to your son. Males are a bit different to us females and tend to just get on with things, my husband is like this anyway. I was paralysed with fear at times and the best thing for me was feeling "normal" and doing "normal" things. I think that he is doing well. You have brought up a resilient son who you should be very proud of. Just let him know that you are always there for him to talk with, scream with....anything. It felt surreal when I was diagnosed and hard to believe. I was diagnosed in 2009 and sometimes it feels like yesterday. The anxiety and fear was overwhelming at times especially for the first few years. He is lucky to have such a supportive mother. This website helped me a lot as there was always someone here who understood what I was going through and could help with my concerns and questions. Best wishes xx
There's a ton of emotional stuff that you go through, no matter how strong you are, and sometimes a close friend to chat helps. I hope that he has such people in his life.
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