Can't believe it's been 4 years

[Kick'nAssCancer'sAss]

Four years ago today I was two days post op from LAR open surgery. My gut looked like the zipper of my hockey bag, I had a temp ileostomy that just kept filling with nasty green stuff. I had not eaten for three days and would go another five without food. Jello is not food. In three days I would be moved from ICU to the maternity ward and my surgeon would tell me that he had great news. I had a complete response. There was nothing but scar tissue where the tumor had been and all 24 nodes were clean. This was great news but I still wanted to slam that final nail in the cancer coffin, so I elected to go eight rounds with what would be my hardest foe in my journey, FOLFOX. After every round I wanted to quit, I would say to myself "I had a complete response, I don't need this shit, I am good to go" I never quit because I knew if ever had a recurrence my life would be filled forever with "what if's".

It was a tough year a year from hell to say the least but I got through it one day at a time. I eventually had my reversal when the mop up chemo ended. My life has changed like everybody who fights this evil disease and cancer will always be part of my life, just the daily visible scars I see in the mirror will always be a reminder. A reminder of how fortunate I was and how fortunate I am going forward. I found this forum a few months after my dx It says I joined Feb 25 2014 and my first post was March 11th a few days after my release from hospital. I have learned more about cancer from all the warriors here than I have anywhere else. Although I don't post much I visit almost daily. I have wept openly reading about the passing of many that gave me strength in my early days. There are so many but Kenny and Brownbagger quickly come to mind.

For those just starting out on the journey my number one advice to you...stay away from Dr Google. I had myself dead and buried at least five or six times. All those stats regarding survivorship are outdated and with all the new treatments survivorship is definitely tilting towards this side of the grass and it will continue to get better. Keep your chin up and try to stay positive. Set goals even minor ones and be determined to achieve them. For me getting back on skates playing hockey within a year of dx was what I worked towards and although I was rusty as hell I was back playing exactly 51 weeks after my dx. It was a big deal for me and I did it. We have the CN Tower here in Toronto and in April I will once again run up the 1776 steps for my fourth time since my year of hell and after my last years time I am less than a minute from elite status which is 15 minutes or less. I have gotten faster every year while getting older, weird. Take that cancer.

All you warriors here are my heroes and keep up the fight...There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not always an oncoming train.

[Robino1]

Congratulations and thank you for your inspiring words.

I truly needed them right now.

[susie0915]

Your story sounds alot like mine. After chemo/radiation surgeon said all that was left was scar tissue. Pet scan showed no cancer before surgery. I also chose to do the chemotherapy after surgery as my oncologist said she could not guarantee cancer cells did not get into the bloodstream. Also did not want any "what ifs". It was a year of ups and downs. A blockage 4 weeks after surgery put me into the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks with an ng tube and a second surgery to remove scar tissue. My ileostomy was reversed at that time so I only had it for 5 weeks. After reversal got a c-diff infection. That was fun with no rectum lol. Then finally did 6 rounds of chemo. Sometimes when I relive that year tears come to my eyes. But things are better. I'm running again and feel stronger everyday. Thank you for sharing your story. I agree that many here are so inspiring with the strength they show during treatment and diagnosis.

[hart2hart]

Great post......! Ya'Al' keep up the fight and yes,no Dr Google. We made that mistake too. IF all goes as planned, Pete will
get his pump and port out the end of this year! We also found this wonderful forum about 2 months after diagnosis. It's been
a tough 7 years, but we feel so Fortunate that life is good again except for a few minor day-to-day issues. We love you all here--
please keep fighting. Heroes, YES!



Julie and Pete
Stamford, CT

[justin case]

Four years ago today I was two days post op from LAR open surgery. My gut looked like the zipper of my hockey bag, I had a temp ileostomy that just kept filling with nasty green stuff. I had not eaten for three days and would go another five without food. Jello is not food. In three days I would be moved from ICU to the maternity ward and my surgeon would tell me that he had great news. I had a complete response. There was nothing but scar tissue where the tumor had been and all 24 nodes were clean. This was great news but I still wanted to slam that final nail in the cancer coffin, so I elected to go eight rounds with what would be my hardest foe in my journey, FOLFOX. After every round I wanted to quit, I would say to myself "I had a complete response, I don't need this shit, I am good to go" I never quit because I knew if ever had a recurrence my life would be filled forever with "what if's".

It was a tough year a year from hell to say the least but I got through it one day at a time. I eventually had my reversal when the mop up chemo ended. My life has changed like everybody who fights this evil disease and cancer will always be part of my life, just the daily visible scars I see in the mirror will always be a reminder. A reminder of how fortunate I was and how fortunate I am going forward. I found this forum a few months after my dx It says I joined Feb 25 2014 and my first post was March 11th a few days after my release from hospital. I have learned more about cancer from all the warriors here than I have anywhere else. Although I don't post much I visit almost daily. I have wept openly reading about the passing of many that gave me strength in my early days. There are so many but Kenny and Brownbagger quickly come to mind.

For those just starting out on the journey my number one advice to you...stay away from Dr Google. I had myself dead and buried at least five or six times. All those stats regarding survivorship are outdated and with all the new treatments survivorship is definitely tilting towards this side of the grass and it will continue to get better. Keep your chin up and try to stay positive. Set goals even minor ones and be determined to achieve them. For me getting back on skates playing hockey within a year of dx was what I worked towards and although I was rusty as hell I was back playing exactly 51 weeks after my dx. It was a big deal for me and I did it. We have the CN Tower here in Toronto and in April I will once again run up the 1776 steps for my fourth time since my year of hell and after my last years time I am less than a minute from elite status which is 15 minutes or less. I have gotten faster every year while getting older, weird. Take that cancer.

All you warriors here are my heroes and keep up the fight...There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not always an oncoming train.

It was 6 years ago, I was throwing up nasty green stuff, had a temp illio, and had to have another surgery, because of blockage . I just celebrated my 62nd birthday, of course that I never suspected !
Michael

[CRguy]

Can't believe it's been 4 years

Hey buddy
the true spirit of this forum is always written with the blood, sweat and tears of its members

those who've passed must be remembered
those who survive must pay it forward

Your wonderful and inspiring story does just that.

... and HEY what Canuck could pass up a hockey reference
Keep racking up those milestones !!!!!

Mega Cheers and Harmony coming your way

on the Journey with you
CRguy

[Kick'nAssCancer'sAss]

Thanx everyone for the replies. It is with mixed feelings that I post my good news story because I know for many warriors the journey just continues to get harder.
When I was starting out it was stories like mine that I would search for and read over and over. I hope that some here can find their own light and also share their stories, it really does make a difference for those starting out,

Can't believe it's been 4 years

... and HEY what Canuck could pass up a hockey reference
Keep racking up those milestones !!!!

on the Journey with you
CRguy

After last season it was nice here in Toronto to have finally some spring hockey hope we can see hockey here in June. Canucks not so much. Rebuilds are painful.

[CRguy]

You got that right ..... BUTT .....
my use of the Canuck reference was generic !!!!

the YVR Canucks ..... another story altogether

Cheers
CR