I'm of the same age, living alone with a pet, extremely reluctant to ask for help (used to), families live far away from me though they flew to come to take care of me.
1. I learned to accept help and realized it is a gift to others in some way. They either feel good about helping someone they care - they can finally do something for you other than feeling sad, or they feel good about being alive and able to do simple things, which can be hard for you/ others - they end up treasure life more too.
2. At some point in my journey, I had no choice but to rely on others. I had a huge open abdomen surgery twice to move part of my liver, so 1) I could not really move around normally; 2) Sitting up most of the time gave me severe back pain. I had to ask my sister to help me to use the loo and give me a lower back massage when half of my butt was showing.... it was hard to do it at first but eventually I felt more at ease. Practice make perfect.
3. I would really categorize the stuff I need help on, including some I want to do on my own (or try). I also invited my friends to help me do something together with me. Like grocery shopping at the supermarket, I would want to go but I couldn't lift heavy things, I wanted to look at the dairy fridge but neuropathy made me feel so bad, so I could ask if they can go grocery shopping with me but help me carry the bags and pick out milk and stuff for me. This way I feel good being able to do something too without pushing it.
Hangin' there, things will get better!
F/38 - Dx 8 Mar 17, CEA 80.5
Stage IV Sigmoid Colon, 6 Liver mets, T3N0M1a, KRAS NRAS Wild, G2=Moderately differentiated
3/17- 6/17 - 6 rounds of FOLFOX + Erbitux - CEA 2.5
7/17- 8/17 - 2-stage Liver Resection/Colon/Gall, all clear margin
8/25 - CEA 0.7
9/11 - Started Adjuvant chemo Xelox
9/15 - Intense reaction to Xeloda, it was dropped
9/22 - Folfox resumed, severe allergic reaction to Oxi
11/17 - Clear MRI
12/17 - completed a total of 13 rounds of FOLFOX
1/18 - Clear PET SCAN
3/18 - Clear MRI