Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

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WriterGirl1969
Posts: 513
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:48 pm
Location: Central NY

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby WriterGirl1969 » Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:24 pm

Thanks CRGuy and Lee.
Yes, it felt powerful to get to meet them IRL. Finding this group changed my life, and Anne was a huge part of that. I wanted them to know that, and felt really blessed to get to do that. I'll be sure to let the group know if I end up touching base with any of them in the future.
Hugs to all of you.
Tracy
DX 3/4/2016 Colon Cancer; age 46 Mom of then 4-yr-old
Stage IIIB: T3N1M0
3/31/16 Surgery
4 to 10/2016: Xeloda Monotherapy
CEA: 10/16 0.56, 1/17 0.54
CT CLEAR: 3/6/17; 4/17/18; 4/16/19
NED 3 years
“If I can help somebody as I walk along, then my living shall not be in vain.”

TXLiz
Posts: 249
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2016 3:31 pm

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby TXLiz » Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:53 pm

It’s so wonderful to hear that Beansmama was surrounded by love.

She is a beautiful spirit, and deserved so much better in life.
Vomiting and blockage 9/19/16 46 y F
R hemi colectomy 9/20/16
Stage 3 B CRC, located in cecum
3 out of 16 lymph nodes positive
perineural invasion/lymphovascular invasion
infiltrating, mod differentiated adenocarcinoma with a mucinous component
separate tumor nodules present in pericolonic adipose tissue
MSI-high
Baseline PET scan clear 9/16 CEA 0.5
FOLFOX 10/16- 3/17
April 16th, CT scan clear. CEA 1.1
Lynch "inconclusive"
Colonoscopy 10/5/2017 clear

menreeq
Posts: 69
Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:26 am

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby menreeq » Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:32 am

I am so very sorry to hear this news. I haven't been on the forum for a while, and so this is shocking. My love and prayers go to beansmama's family and friends, as well as to all of us here in Colon Club who feel this loss so deeply. It cuts. It doesn't make sense. And it's so unfair.

Although I didn't know beansmama personally, I read her posts and was rooting for her as she recovered from surgery. This place is, for me, where I can safely do some deep diving, into the sad and scary places I dare not go in the daytime, all the while knowing I am not alone. It is wrenching when someone in this community is taken. Thank you, WriterGirl, for this tribute and for all the help you have given me. It is through you that I know beansmama. My heart hurts for her little bean.
Stage IIA rectosigmoid CC (T3N0M0)
Dx 6/5/17 @age 41, mom to 5 & 2yo girls
Workup: c-scope, EUS, rectal MRI, CT C/A/P
AdenoCA 5.5cm, WHO Grade 2, 0/22 LN, no distant mets
CEA 1.9 (6/5/17), 0.8 (2/28/18)
No lymphovasc/perineural invasion, clear margins
MSI intact, OncotypeDx RS 7
Lap sig colectomy 6/23/17, no ileo/colostomy
Genetics counseling negative for mutations, 4 VUS
Xeloda monotherapy 8/13/17-1/22/18
PET/CT 3/21/18 NED
CT C/A/P 9/17/18 NED

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HopeForJesse
Posts: 249
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:39 am
Location: Philadelphia

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby HopeForJesse » Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:27 pm

RIP dear Anne,

"I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

Henry Van Dyke
DH DX 01/16 49 YO inop RC stage IV liver mets
MSS TP53 APC,BRCA2
12/15 CEA 241, FOLFOX to 11/16
LAR/ileo 5/16 Clear margins 1/29 nodes
HAI, reversal, liver resections7/16
FUDR 8/16 -NED 3 mos
Rising CEA 3/17 Xeloda, 5/17 -12/17 Erbitux & Iri stable but lung/lymph mets CEA 2.7
5/18 5 days SBRT radiation to sternum 10/22/18 surgery to remove zyphoid process met
6/11/19 5FU added to cetuximab and irinotecan CEA 16
Ephesians 3:20 Our God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!

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WriterGirl1969
Posts: 513
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:48 pm
Location: Central NY

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby WriterGirl1969 » Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:35 pm

TXLiz wrote:It’s so wonderful to hear that Beansmama was surrounded by love.
She is a beautiful spirit, and deserved so much better in life.


I agree with both statements. I'm glad to have known her.
DX 3/4/2016 Colon Cancer; age 46 Mom of then 4-yr-old
Stage IIIB: T3N1M0
3/31/16 Surgery
4 to 10/2016: Xeloda Monotherapy
CEA: 10/16 0.56, 1/17 0.54
CT CLEAR: 3/6/17; 4/17/18; 4/16/19
NED 3 years
“If I can help somebody as I walk along, then my living shall not be in vain.”

User avatar
WriterGirl1969
Posts: 513
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:48 pm
Location: Central NY

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby WriterGirl1969 » Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:43 pm

menreeq wrote:I am so very sorry to hear this news. I haven't been on the forum for a while, and so this is shocking. My love and prayers go to beansmama's family and friends, as well as to all of us here in Colon Club who feel this loss so deeply. It cuts. It doesn't make sense. And it's so unfair.

Although I didn't know beansmama personally, I read her posts and was rooting for her as she recovered from surgery. This place is, for me, where I can safely do some deep diving, into the sad and scary places I dare not go in the daytime, all the while knowing I am not alone. It is wrenching when someone in this community is taken. Thank you, WriterGirl, for this tribute and for all the help you have given me. It is through you that I know beansmama. My heart hurts for her little bean.


I definitely understand the shocking part. I don't think I quite believed it when I first found out. To have survived the surgery and to finally be NED only to succumb to blood clots... it just didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair. But when I think of the fact that everything she did was to fight to be cancer free, and to learn as much as possible about Lynch and how to treat it, I think maybe her journey will mean that someone else is able to benefit. Maybe even someone in her own family, all of whom have Lynch. Maybe even the bean. When I think of it like that it eases some of the pain in my heart, because I know I'd do anything for my little beaner, including dying for him. That's where she and I really connected, was as Moms. So when I think of it that way, I'm able to feel the beginning of some peace. I'm glad my words about her are meaningful to others. I hope that's what lives on.

Smiles and hugs,
Tracy
DX 3/4/2016 Colon Cancer; age 46 Mom of then 4-yr-old
Stage IIIB: T3N1M0
3/31/16 Surgery
4 to 10/2016: Xeloda Monotherapy
CEA: 10/16 0.56, 1/17 0.54
CT CLEAR: 3/6/17; 4/17/18; 4/16/19
NED 3 years
“If I can help somebody as I walk along, then my living shall not be in vain.”

User avatar
WriterGirl1969
Posts: 513
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:48 pm
Location: Central NY

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby WriterGirl1969 » Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:45 pm

HopeForJesse wrote:Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

Henry Van Dyke


That's so beautiful... and so true. Somewhere on Heaven's shore, there's a welcoming celebration going on. It's just from our sight she is gone, and only for a little while.
Thank you for posting this.
--Tracy
DX 3/4/2016 Colon Cancer; age 46 Mom of then 4-yr-old
Stage IIIB: T3N1M0
3/31/16 Surgery
4 to 10/2016: Xeloda Monotherapy
CEA: 10/16 0.56, 1/17 0.54
CT CLEAR: 3/6/17; 4/17/18; 4/16/19
NED 3 years
“If I can help somebody as I walk along, then my living shall not be in vain.”

User avatar
Shana
Posts: 401
Joined: Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:45 pm
Location: Sonoma, CA

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby Shana » Thu Jan 25, 2018 5:19 pm

Thank you Tracy,

I'm so glad that you were able to connect with her family IRL. All these posts are heartwarming in the midst of sadness. This is my safe place to come to also and know that everyone here is fighting the same fight and shares many of the feelings that run through my mind.

BeansMama touched so many of us, we will keep her in our heart
DX - 12/16
MSS - KRAS wild
Well-differentiated adenocarcinoma at splenic flexure
Stage IV CC with liver mets
5FU - Failed twice - 1/17 and 3/17
Irinotecan + Cetuximab: 8/17
Irinotecan and Erbitux ran it's course. CEA rising
Primary tumor invaded tail of pancreas and spleen. Liver mets major concern
Y-90 radioembolization on 9/17/18, liver enzyymes have dropped. 10 Radiation treatments to primary tumor completed too. CT scan Nov to assess overall situation...

TXLiz
Posts: 249
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2016 3:31 pm

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby TXLiz » Fri Jan 26, 2018 6:48 pm

HopeForJesse wrote:RIP dear Anne,

"I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

Henry Van Dyke


Tears. So touching.
Vomiting and blockage 9/19/16 46 y F
R hemi colectomy 9/20/16
Stage 3 B CRC, located in cecum
3 out of 16 lymph nodes positive
perineural invasion/lymphovascular invasion
infiltrating, mod differentiated adenocarcinoma with a mucinous component
separate tumor nodules present in pericolonic adipose tissue
MSI-high
Baseline PET scan clear 9/16 CEA 0.5
FOLFOX 10/16- 3/17
April 16th, CT scan clear. CEA 1.1
Lynch "inconclusive"
Colonoscopy 10/5/2017 clear

BIG ROB 69
Posts: 63
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2016 2:00 am
Location: Long Island, NY

Re: Tribute to my dear friend Anne - aka BeansMama

Postby BIG ROB 69 » Sat Jan 27, 2018 2:21 pm

See you on the other side, Anne.
3/18/2015 DX CC Stage3/4 49YO MALE IN NEW YORK
Inoperable...hepatic artery
11/15 oper to rem block...colon bypass
4/16 oper to remove scar tissue
5/16 Lynch pos.
10/16 Two bile tubes installed to relieve jaundice
So far I have done the three main chemo drug rounds and on 12/19/16 start Keytruda.
No chemo after 8/3/16 CEA: 10/14/16-409 12/19/16- 887 Mostly my CEA was in the 140-180 range.
CEA: 1/9/17-415 1/30/17-156.2 2/20/17-120.8 3/13/17-98 4/21/17-83.6 5/12/17-64.7 6/1/17-32.1
7/25/17-32.6


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