Welcome to the Colon Club, no_colon-powell. Must say that I had a good chuckle about your name.
You've been through a lot (quite an understatement IMO). It's going to take some time before you're back to eating like you were before. I suspect your Dr. is right and you'll be able to eat your fav kale salad before long. However, while your healing you might want to try something like the low residue diet.
What Is a Low-Residue Diet? It limits high-fiber foods, like whole-grain breads and cereals, nuts, seeds, raw or dried fruits, and vegetables. "Residue" is undigested food, including fiber, that makes up stool. The goal of the diet is to have fewer, smaller bowel movements each day.Nov 30, 2017. https://www.webmd.com/ibd-crohns-diseas ... et-foods#1
Maybe a couple weeks or a month of low residue, and then gradually start introducing other foods, possibly one at a time to see how you tolerate them.
When I was undergoing chemo/rad I had a couple of temporary blockages. After the second one, I made the correlation to the green papaya salad that I had at my favorite Vietnamese restaurant. I love green papaya salad, and was really dismayed to think I would have to give it up forever. Now, I'm 4 years post treatment, and doing very well, eating pretty much whatever I want. I understand that you have a unique situation, butt think there is every reason to be hopeful about your future diet.