Receiving a health-scare like you have brings you face-to-face with your own mortality
and does your head in
as we say in Australia. You now have a 'before' polyp and 'after'
polyp divide down the middle of your life and it's a Big. Bloody. Deal. to you - it's your body.
It's grown something nasty and can you ever trust your body again. Finding out one's body can pull this sort of
ninja shit is discombobulating. It's easy for your husband, PCP and GI doctor to be chilled - AINT THEIR BODY
and are they all males........might be a bit of gender stereotyping that is stressing, but don't you worry your
pretty little head about that.
The reality is that you DID have a colonoscopy and the funny-looking-growth was removed. Focusing on
alternate outcomes is trippy and the realm of sci-fi fantasy, being an exercise in pure speculation. However, you
might imaginate a scenario that happens to somebody else and that comes in handy as you'll be already prepared
in how to deal. Ruminating does have it's benefits. It can detract from being truly engaged with
the wonderful outcome that do you have. However, you've had the bejebus scared out of you and you don't have cancer and
there's no one you can talk to about that because you don't have cancer and you are expected to get on with it
because you don't have cancer. Don't miss a beat, shrug it off, count your lucky stars, rock up for a colonoscopy
in 3 years and you know, get on with it because you don't have cancer and there are others out there (and in here)
who are in far diarrhoea straits.
So the way I see it, which is an Aussie way (upside down), is that you are seeking to know how to move on from this
Major-Health-Scare which is akin to being the person in a Blitz who lives in the one house left standing in the street that
wasn't demolished....miraculous! There's the relief and then the realization that you don't quite
belong, but you are
traumatized all the same. My suggestion would be that you connect with a counsellor and work through it with a person who
isn't emotionally invested in what-could-have-happened. I reckon your husband received a pretty darn good scare as well and
talking about what could have happened is probably scaring him more. You're like Jason with the chainsaw...
Have you had a good howl of relief yet? Crying is highly underrated as a coping mechanism. Tears of joy, let em rip!