Wife of a husband that just went through stage 3 colorectal cancer need advice

[Jjm]

Now that he is done with treatments, I realize you will experience some side effects. One that has really stood out lately his the anger he will be nice one minute then just become anger about nothing and will say names I have never be called before in my life. My daughters are going through the same and seeing their dad like this and it makes it really hard to be around him. Has anyone else experienced this when coming off of chemo and radiation?? Just curious! Thanks

[Lee]

There is something about finishing treatment. A good time/a VERY SCARY time. Sometimes people need anti-anxiety medicine to help get them through this SCARY period. Talk to his Dr.(s) and to DH. I can tell you from personal experience, cancer is the elephant in the room. You don't want to talk about it, butt it is always there.

Maybe family therapy might be a good idea too. A safe place where everyone can express their concerns in a safe environment.

Good luck to you and your family,

Lee

P.S. On my last treatment, guess my blood pressure really shot up. Onc came and talked to me, told her I was SCARED, oh is that it. YES!!!! Something about being thrown out into the wilderness.

[rockhound]

Prozac has made a world of difference for me mentally. Was pretty depressed from when I was diagnosed till I started taking that this summer; it has made a 100% change in my attitude and mental state. Also don't discount mental health advice/counseling - I had an ongoing relationship with a psychiatrist prior to my diagnosis because of work-related stress issues. Continuing those sessions during the entire treatment process was very helpful also and I'm glad I kept that up.

[Aqx99]

I've been seeing the oncology counselor at my cancer center for several months. She has helped me immensely. She also referred me to a psychiatric nurse practitioner because she felt medication would help me. The nice thing about seeing an oncology counselor is that they are trained to deal with the unique problems that cancer and cancer treatment bring to the table.

[NHMike]

Cancer and cancer treatment can be like PTSD as you have a lot of anxiety, stress, pressure and, often, physical pain. I try to keep it away from others but sometimes it spills out. I think that that support groups can help because they are places where you can vent where everyone will understand.

For some, medication can help. I found good refuge in exercise as that produces chemicals that made me feel a lot better. I’m sorry that there is this change but it’s really tough stuff to go through. I’m not excusing it but just saying how it can happen.

[susie0915]

When going through treatment you feel you are actively fighting. When you finish, even if cancer is gone you feel a vulnerability and helplessness. I saw an oncology counselor and survivorship nurse practitioner. They were so helpful when it came to dealing with my feelings. It's probably harder to get men to talk to someone, but if your husband is willing it would probably be helpful. All that I have talked to says the further you get from completion of treatment the easier it becomes. Then there's always the anxiety of repeated scans and bloodtests that cause anxiety. I find exercise helps me to feel back to normal although I don't know if I ever will be the same. Just a new normal.

'

[James65]

I had the same issue with my emotions. I would get angry at the drop of a hat and then cry at a commercial with a puppy in it, etc.

For me it took having a good therapist and being patient. The meds--prozac, etc.--can help, but they cause there own problems and can tamp down emotions making it harder for therapy to resolve them. There is also the fact that the chemo drugs are still in him and he is still (probably) dealing with side effects. It took me a couple to three months for things to settle down, but they did and they will.

Exercise is also a hugely effective therapy, even if it is just going for walks. The other is water and having him understand that healing emotionally is part of recovery.

[CaliforniaBagMan]

You already have a family awareness that this might not be his normal behavior but something that is induced from treatment, and hopefully short term. Your oncologist probably has suggestions.

I'd suggest patience by those who are around him, and getting him out to do as much walking as he can do without pushing it too hard.