I was diagnosed when I was 29. Finished chemo now for a couple of weeks and I'm hoping terribly for a long cancer free fully fullfilled life.
No one that hasn't a chronic and potentially deadly illness in our age will really understand where we are coming from.
I've heard some of the supiddest things coming from people I thought cared about me. Friends who I though where friends were gone after finding out about my diagnosis. Most of people try to empathise and end up building an uncomfortable sympathetic posture that mostly irritates me.
I try to see it as an advantage. Younger people have a better prognosis, heal and adapt faster. So, it can be viewed as an advantage. This is the viewpoint I choose for me. Of course I have some moments of anxiety as well, but I try to put everything in perspective and rationalize.
If I die, the world will go on as always and I know my loved ones will have a though time, but they will find a way without me. And this kind of thinking helps me to take the pressure out of death. Of course I feel very pleased with my life so far and that helps a lot.
But most of the time I think I am just fine. That i am cured and I'm going to live long still, see my daughter grow up and enjoy time passing us by alongside my dearest husband. I try to visualize this things and keep them in my mind as vivid as I can, trips I want to do, conversations I want to have with my daughter and places I want to show her...
And that keeps me going
My goal, more than living a long life, is to be happy. So I need to cherish everyday and I do not let anxiety take the best of me and my family in this time we all have together, and no-one knows when that is going to end, for whatever reason.
If I die soon, I will surely squeeze every effing thing of the good days I may still have of this life. And that is enough for me to fall asleep comfortably tonight.
I hope you as well, find a way to cherish all the good things you still may have...
Dx @ 29 yo. Mum (2 y.o.) & Wife
12/2016: Rectal AdenoCa G2. CEA 4.3. RAS Wild. MSS. IIIB.
01 - 03/2017: 28 RTx + CHT 2,5 g/d Capecit.
03 - 06/2017: Suplemments and Cimetidine.
05/2017: TME/TAMIS + permanent Colostomy CEA 0.5
05/2017: ypT2N2aM0 (4/15), good cCR, limited pCR
06 - 8/2017: 4x CapOx 3,5 g/d (2x Oxi reduced to 80%)
09 -11/2017: 3x Capecit. monotherapy 4g/d
12/2017: Aspirin, Vit. D3, Curcumin, Multivitamin.