The Colon Club

As you all know, my husband and I are separated. Unfortunately for me, the van he drives is in my name because he did not have the money or the credit in order to be able to finance the van himself. So even though he no longer lives with me, he and his van are still on my car insurance policy. Last night he texted me very casually that he had been in another car accident and it was his fault. He was in an accident in August that was also his fault, and back in 2016 he totaled his previous van. So that makes for 3 accidents in less than 2 years, plus a speeding ticket. I just know that the insurance company is going to drop us after this. They sent us a letter recently that was sort of a veiled warning of that, because it listed his 2 accidents and speeding ticket on it. So now I am stuck having to call and beg not to be dropped on Monday, which is also my infusion day. I'm sort of hoping the van gets totaled, because that would remove it from the equation and also remove him from my insurance, since there would be no need for him to be on the insurance if he is not driving my vehicle. I really did not need all of this hassle as I start another chemo cycle.

I'm so sorry. This just sucks. Some people are just always going to be irresponsible. I hope you can get him off your insurance for good. It would be one more step to get him out of your life. Try not to let this stress you for your treatment on Monday as that is your number one priority. I am praying for you and know that you are going to come through this stronger. Hugs.

Anne, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crap while you're sick. I have seen people with similar problem post on reddit. I'm going to link a couple of subreddits that may be helpful.

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/

Best Wishes,
peanut

edit

apparently there is a subedit for insurance issues also

https://www.reddit.com/r/Insurance/

Today he told me that he got a rental car through the insurance company. That's all I need, him crashing a rental car.

We were once in the position where we had to remove our son from our insurance or have the entire family forced into a high risk group, simply because of one accident. Fortunately, we were able to change insurance with no problems. I don't understand WHY you just don't drop him from your insurance. YOU have the right to do that...it happens all the time and your insurance will likely offer you that option.
My advice....get him off of the insurance....NOW! Call your insurance company and tell them you are dropping him from your insurance AND signing a legal statement that you no longer give him permission (this is important) to drive your car. IF the insurance company doesn't total the van, take it back. If he has left you what obligation do you feel to allow him to drive the van? If it's in YOUR name and YOU are financially responsible for it, then YOU need to take the appropriate action and get the van back AND take him off the insurance policy.
May sound mean BUT.....you need to look after you.

weisssoccermom wrote:We were once in the position where we had to remove our son from our insurance or have the entire family forced into a high risk group, simply because of one accident. Fortunately, we were able to change insurance with no problems. I don't understand WHY you just don't drop him from your insurance. YOU have the right to do that...it happens all the time and your insurance will likely offer you that option.
My advice....get him off of the insurance....NOW! Call your insurance company and tell them you are dropping him from your insurance AND signing a legal statement that you no longer give him permission (this is important) to drive your car. IF the insurance company doesn't total the van, take it back. If he has left you what obligation do you feel to allow him to drive the van? If it's in YOUR name and YOU are financially responsible for it, then YOU need to take the appropriate action and get the van back AND take him off the insurance policy.
May sound mean BUT.....you need to look after you.

I would love to take the van back and remove him from my insurance, except then I would be stuck paying on the van at that point. The van was only put in my name because he couldn't get a loan for it. We had an agreement when it was purchased that he would pay for the van, since it was meant to be his. It is also his livelihood. If he can't work, he can't pay back the money he owes me.

These accidents he keeps having, are other road users being injured? Sure hope he doesn't kill
somebody or backs over a kid on a bicycle.....

Aqx99:
I understand your compassion for not wanting to leave your husband “high and dry” in hesitating to take claim of the van and remove him from your insurance policy.

But I hear a loud cacophony of loud warning bells. Danger. Danger.

You need to act to protect YOU from possible financial risk associated with his repeated record of poor and inattentive driving.

Take possession of the van. It is your legal right to do so as your name, and your name only, is on the title. Sell the van. Finance the remainder of the balance due, if need be. But at least you can be risk free and sleep at night. Anything you may owe on the van will be far less than a law suit if your husband should have another accident and cause bodily harm or damage to personal property.

“Three strikes and you are out” is the law in many states for serious moving violations. Take a similar view with your husband. He has had multiple opportunities to prove himself responsible and focus on his responsibilities as a driver. He has failed to do so. Driving is a privilege and not an inherent right.

Your husband can employ Uber or Lyft to get him to and from work. He can call upon the services of a cab. He can carpool with co-workers at his place of work. He can take the bus or other public transportation. It is high time for your husband to take self-responsibility.

I worry for you and for your personal liability with retaining the van and your husband on your insurance policy.
Karen

Everybody around me tells me that I am being way too nice to him. He is a delivery driver and needs a vehicle. I truly do hope they total the van. I have gap coverage, so I won't have to pay anything more after it is totaled. And he and the van will finally be off my insurance.

(((Aqx99)))

I am so sorry you have to deal with all this sh+t. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. As others have said, maybe getting the van back, cutting your losses may be your best path, BEFORE he does more damage to your rating or hurts someone. MAYBE then, he just might grow up.

all the best to you,

Lee

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and hope things work out well for you!*hugs*

I got an email from my insurance company today. They are totaling the van. This means I can get him off my insurance! I'm going to call my insurance company tomorrow to make sure everything gets done.

Oh that's great news. One more thing you will not have to worry about while going through treatment.

Aqx99 wrote: . . . Last night he texted me very casually that he had been in another car accident and it was his fault. He was in an accident in August that was also his fault, and back in 2016 he totaled his previous van. . .

So glad to read they will total the van, butt geez, 2 vans in less than 2 yrs. That is not a history anybody would want. Glad it will not be your problem much longer.

What about the rental car he is driving?

Lee

Lee wrote:

Aqx99 wrote: . . . Last night he texted me very casually that he had been in another car accident and it was his fault. He was in an accident in August that was also his fault, and back in 2016 he totaled his previous van. . .

So glad to read they will total the van, butt geez, 2 vans in less than 2 yrs. That is not a history anybody would want. Glad it will not be your problem much longer.

What about the rental car he is driving?

Lee

The insurance company will demand he return the rental now that the van has been totaled. They did the same thing the last time. I spoke with my insurance company this morning and was relieved to find out that they follow the driver when it comes to the points when determining premiums. That means that once he and his bad driving record are off the policy, my premium should drop considerably. I just paid the 6 month premium in August, I would not be surprised if they tell me I'm covered for a year or more.