After-Chemo NOT "walking on sunshine"

[CAGirl]

Hi Guys,
Boy, I'm 5-weeks done with my 12-rounds of Folfox, and my emotions are all over the place.
I guess I'm "processing" now that I'm no longer focused on treatment/surgery/getting through chemo.
So glad to be done with infusions, but I am struggling with the uncertainty of life and next steps for me, etc. Kind of like an existential crisis -- which probably happens to many 46-year-olds, anyway -- but this cancer-thing sure does wallop you upside the head.
In another post, someone said there's a lot of ups and downs, and I guess I just wanted to say it continues and ask the longer-term folks if they went through this, too.
I've already been doing tons of therapeutic stuff throughout -- therapy, sound bowl therapy, yoga, meditation (not as regularly as I should), walks, dance, etc. -- and will continue to do so, but I'm trying to figure out what's gonna make me happy on a daily basis (besides focusing on the kids)...

[NedPlease]

So very normal. Some depression (and at the very least anxiety and confusion) post treatment is real.

Think about it. You've been in a war of sorts. You're aware and trying out different coping strategies. Plain old distraction of any kind (exercise, painting, reading..) is basically the key for me. Thinking I should, I've yet to volunteer in the hospital but PTSD might be keeping me away. Surviving cancer (knock on wood) is still sinking in.

The point is I'm still figuring it out. I'm happy and productive but I still have looming cancer thoughts despite my fortunate NED status and probably always will. Guess it's - as much as I hate to say it- a "new normal".

Best to you,
N

[susie0915]

I'm 18 months out of treatment and there is not a day that goes by I don't think about my dx. Most days are pretty good but there are times when I'm alone I tear up just thinking about my year of treatments. Dealing with some of the side effects from surgery and chemo doesn't help. I did meet with an oncology counselor to talk and that was helpful. We are so used to focusing on our treatment and fighting this disease we're not prepared to handle emotions when we're done. Not as many Dr appointments, chemo sessions, and blood draws to focus on. Just our thoughts. Staying busy helps but cancer is always in my head. Good Luck. It will get better, but can't say it's ever totally out of your head.

[O Stoma Mia]

There's a 46 page NCCN booklet on "Distress" and how to deal with it. You might want to read it to see if there is anything there that might be of help to you.

https://www.nccn.org/patients/guidelines/distress/index.html