NIKMAKMOM wrote:Hi Shana,
I feel that way everyday, wishing cancer wasn't the center of my life. It's been almost 3 years, 72 chemo treatments and now radioembolization on my liver this week. It is emotionally and physically exhausted. My family is exhausted of it too, though they don't express it as much. For a while I loved sleeping so I could escape it. Then binge watching on Netflix helps to distract as well. I stopped working since I was on chemo regularly and at the time didn't have the energy to continue. I get disability now being a stage 4 terminal cancer patient. My strategy is always planning trips and spending time with family and friends and live every moment when I can. But, the ratcheting down of no longer being who I was is challenging and I hate the 'new normal.' and, at the same time I am so grateful I have come this far. I think we all need and should vent once in a while, it's healthy! OK, that's my venting.
Hugs to all!
Hi Elkie,
I think you have channeled me today! First of all, KUDOS to you for surviving all those treatments, you're awesome and I see a lot of myself today in your past. Sleep was a refuge, then lots of Netflix. It comes in handy on chemo day when the steroids keep me awake half the night.
I worked one day after my first week of chemo and then crashed and was hospitalized for nearly a month. I had to take a leave of absence, file for state disabiity which will expire in January. I'll be filing for SSDI soon which shouldn't be an issue based on my diagnosis. It's kind of surreal still but this forum helps a lot with sharing and support. I want to make plans and take trips and make memories without worrying if I will feel well enough to go. Maybe I need to take a leap of faith and just do it (with Dr's okay) Carpe Diem because I can? Venting is a good thing, thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish you all the best and many many more memories to make!
(((Hugs)))