BeansMama wrote:Hi Anne,
Lee mentioned me in her comment. I am going through something similar to you. My Ex had an affair while I was receiving Folfirinox - or as my oncologist called it "the kitchen sink". To put it bluntly I was dying and had no emotional support because he was putting all that energy into his girlfriend.
I know he couldn't handle the cancer. He keeps saying it was him and his inability to talk about his feelings. Gave me some pathetic reasons - I left the toaster on the counter, I didn't fold the towels right, I didn't make the bed as soon as I got up in the morning (I had 2 kids to get ready and out the door to school as well as getting myself ready for work or an appointment).
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Honestly it sounds like him leaving was the best thing he could have done for you. It will reduce the amount of stress and bull pucky you have to deal with so you can focus on you. I know it is difficult going through this alone. I have made friends here that I have become very close with. I have always believed that family isn't just DNA. I don't get along with my family very well and they are all still in upstate NY where I am originally from.
On a side note - how is this for coincidence.... My name is also Anne and I moved to NC from TX a year ago. Where in NC are you located?
Talk about coincidences, I grew up in Elmira, NY. I live in Pfafftown, NC, west of Winston-Salem. I have heard people say that getting cancer was the best thing that could have happened to them, I doubted it until this all happened to me. I had no idea how trapped I was, until that huge sense of freedom washed over me a few days after the shock wore off.
I completely know the feeling! The things you see after the fact. I am much happier now than I was before. And yes having cancer changes you - especially when you realize that you have been dealing with the emotional aspect on your own.
Elmira! I grew up just outside Saratoga. I'm currently just north of Charlotte.
The freedom is nice, and now you know you can beat any problems on your own. I have found myself relishing those little things that I realized I had given up for him if he didn't like something. At first I was scared to death but soon being able to do what I wanted was so wonderful.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to PM me if you would like.