Sounds very much like me at the moment. The cancer part and marriage. I had a little giggle at your last line.
My wife was similar she did not come to my radiations, or chemo appointments. But is convinced that she dealt with it in a total different way. Do spouse's deal with a cancer diagnosis different then a cancer patient? I'm not sure.
Our marriage started declining years ago, and the bedroom life was pretty much no existence. However we both believe we still love each other. Is this confused by the need to stay comfortable and not deal with the whole separation issues especially when kids are involved.
I refused bedroom activities to A DEGREE while going through treatment. I wasn't comfortable with the bag, the chemo lines, or the healing scars.
We almost separated and I was getting excited about a new place, a new man cave and a single life.
Why am I still here? I guess a part of me doesn't want to leave.
Perhaps have some space and see how it all goes instead of pulling the pin directly. I don't think there is a real rush, and the end result may just be the same.
I spent a good year on the computer gaming. I drank a little. However I do neither now, I've kind of grown away from it and spend more time with the family. The wife she hated it. However now she does similar routines now, mainly with work, always at work. I support her, I think that people must be compatible and let the other do what they enjoy. I only use to game to catch up with my brothers. Don't take this the wrong way, I feel for you, it isn't nice. If cancer has taught me anything, its im going to enjoy myself, and allow others to do the same. Life is short.
U need a good ear, and just let it all go at someone. Its too stressful.
Sorry that was more about me. But we all go through it at some stage and it really sucks.
I hope things get better for you and keep going strong. Look towards a bright better future
06/2016 Went in for colonoscopy came out with a tumor. Age 35
12cm from verge at junction. Rectal cancer.
Clinical stage T3 NO MO
Completed 5FU and Radiation
LAR surgery planned 13 Oct 2016
Completed ULAR surgery 11-10-2016.
pT3 N0 M0 R1
Pathology reviewed and changed
ypT3 N0 M0 R0
Started folfox 21-11-2016