BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

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jens22
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Facebook Username: jspirio
Location: Long Island, NY

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby jens22 » Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:12 pm

I haven't been on in a few weeks...and I just ha this strange feeling....My friend Brown Bagger has Pasted. Yes he was full of life and though I never met him I felt like I had. He was an upstate new york guy who biked his way through life . His garden made me smile every year. WHen his lung nodules turned out to be cancer, he hit them with a ton of brick. Cancer was always in his for front getting in his way. I will miss Him. He was really someone special
Colonoscopy 3/10 for ? hemmorrhoid.
Diag Colon Cancer 3 days later
Colon Ressection 3/30/10
Stage 3B 5/14 Nodes positive.
Power Port and 7 months of Chemo
Port removed 11/11
8 negative Cat Scans..... 7 years cancer free and Discharged from Sloane Kett!!
Diag age 47 , now 54 Mom of 3 boys.

Cured
Posts: 520
Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:53 pm
Location: MO

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby Cured » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:01 pm

Wow. Sad. Brown Bagger has been on the site as long as I have.
He shared a lot. Gave a lot. Club Members work for each other. Share with one another, and he was the Chief of sharing.
May God grant him rest. He will be remembered.
5-08:Stg 3 Rectal: 6/14 Nodes
Ace Surgeon Remvd 90%Rectum,lots of Colon-Full Incision
Ileo Rev'd 6 Mos.
Radiatn+5fu Pre-Surgery
FOLFOX 8 CyclDone 1-09
Clear Scope 8-17; CEA 2-18
Glory to God! Healed by prayers of many: for 10 years
7-18: tumor pressing against brain Removed
Metastatic to lung. CEA 6.9 Began Folfiri
CEA dropped to 4.5 after 1 chemo
After 8rds CEA 3
CEA 1.8, 2.3,1.7 now
Finished 12 rounds of Folfiri
Avastin every 3 weeks.
Had Seizure Anti-seizure meds working;no driving for 6 months

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WriterGirl1969
Posts: 513
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:48 pm
Location: Central NY

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby WriterGirl1969 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:03 pm

CRguy wrote:When someone says they have no words to describe how they feel .. and then go on to do so anyway

When someone says they are gutted by an experience and just need to share their energy with their friends

When someone who has been in and out of someone else’s life, and they yours, finds that their friend is suddenly gone

When we here, deal with life and death daily, and having experienced it personally never expect to have to share the passing of a friend we shared the other losses with

When we’ve been here for years and despite the changes, never expect to say goodbye to a best friend

When you have read all of this, you will know only a fraction of what I feel right now

Eric, BrownBagger …….has passed

I’ll be back tomorrow to post his In Memoriam
HERE

right now this is all I have to give


God... just saw. I'm so, so sad to hear this. :cry:
Tracy
DX 3/4/2016 Colon Cancer; age 46 Mom of then 4-yr-old
Stage IIIB: T3N1M0
3/31/16 Surgery
4 to 10/2016: Xeloda Monotherapy
CEA: 10/16 0.56, 1/17 0.54
CT CLEAR: 3/6/17; 4/17/18; 4/16/19
NED 3 years
“If I can help somebody as I walk along, then my living shall not be in vain.”

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WriterGirl1969
Posts: 513
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:48 pm
Location: Central NY

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby WriterGirl1969 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:07 pm

weisssoccermom wrote:I remember when Eric joined and his first avatar (I don't know how many here will remember it). It epitomized the name 'brownbagger' so well. Initially he was a stage IIA....just like me and I felt some sort of a 'connection' that here was someone who had the same diagnosis that I did. I remember being almost 'angry' with him ......all his bike riding during chemoradiation.....how the heck did he do that????
When I was asked, years ago, who would make a good moderator....my first choice was Eric. He wasn't a controversial person....he was warm, optimistic, funny, not necessarily politically correct....but was someone you just felt you could connect with. I was always amazed at how, even in the midst of difficult times, Eric always had a positive air about him. He shared with all of us his unbelievable garden, his times at mom's Wisconsin farm and I was particularly mesmerized by his wood burning furnace!

CR.....I do understand how you feel. Eric was your friend, your confidante....someone who (and I don't know if you ever actually met him) you could share life stories with....someone with whom you had a connection.....cancer brought you together and that friendship, that bond can never be broken. I also had that with Terry, so I understand. It just plain sucks when that person dies.....it doesn't seem fair and it scares you a little because (at least for me) you think, 'that could be me'. Just know that Eric was loved around here. He was warm, welcoming, upbeat, funny and overall just a 'nice guy'.

To Eric's family.....my deepest condolences. I know Eric loved his family....he talked about them often. His mom, wife and children have lost a bright spot in their lives but his spirit will live on in the hearts and minds of those who loved him and in those whom he loved.

Rest in peace Eric.
Jaynee


Here, here, Jaynee.
<<bowing my head for a moment in prayer>>
DX 3/4/2016 Colon Cancer; age 46 Mom of then 4-yr-old
Stage IIIB: T3N1M0
3/31/16 Surgery
4 to 10/2016: Xeloda Monotherapy
CEA: 10/16 0.56, 1/17 0.54
CT CLEAR: 3/6/17; 4/17/18; 4/16/19
NED 3 years
“If I can help somebody as I walk along, then my living shall not be in vain.”

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BeansMama
Posts: 959
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:38 am
Location: North Carolina

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby BeansMama » Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:45 am

I am so sorry to hear the news, I haven't been on much lately so I am a little late. He was always so cheerful, I didn't know him very well but he will be missed deeply.

My condolences to his friends and family. I know those words cannot ease the pain felt as a result of his loss, but I am sending thoughts and prayers to all.
41 yrs old
Tumor found 9/2015
Surgery 1 - 11/2015 LAR and colostomy
Surgery 2 - 11/2015 wound vac
Surgery 3 - 12/2015 revise resection, move colostomy
Mets to liver - tumor inoperable - one add'l met destroyed
Stage IVa (T3 N2a M1a)
Primary tumor 9 cm x 7.5 cm x 2 cm
Beginning Folfox 1/2016 - Failed
Beginning Folfiri and vectibix 8/2016 — Failed
Beginning Folfirinox + Avastin 11/2016 - Failed
Beginning Keytruda 1/2017
CEA drop from 345 to 7.3 after starting immunotherapy
Lynch positive 3/2016

hart2hart
Posts: 789
Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2011 10:46 pm

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby hart2hart » Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:10 pm

Eric was our first friend at Sloan! Pete and Eric also had the same Orvis jacket!
We miss you buddy! A lot! Everything about you we miss!

Love , Julie and Pete
Pete (hubby) Stage 3 VLRC - 11/11
Chemo/Rad/Ace Surgeon - 11/11 - 4/12
Oxi/Xeloda (Severe Toxicity to OXI) - 5/12 - 6/12
5Fu Only - 8/12 - 2/13
Liver Resection/Hai Pump/Folfiri/FUDR - 10/13 - 5/14
Lung Ablation (MSKCC) - 12/31/2014
Xeloda through 4/2015
NED - 1/2015 - To Current

Coppercent
Posts: 262
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:00 pm

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby Coppercent » Fri Sep 22, 2017 1:41 pm

Oh, wow! I do not get on a lot but this just hits the gut! He was so supportive and really was such an inspiration. I just don't have words. :( :x
07/15/11 Stage III Rectal, 08/11 - 09/11 Chemo/rad 11/11 LAR - Whole rectum gone, ostomy, hysterectomy
01/12 Port placed, 01/12 thru 06/12 Folfox, Xelox 10/03/12 Reversal, Clear scan
And then the story continues.
Currently, remission round two!

Mystic
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:40 pm
Location: Nature Coast, Florida
Contact:

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby Mystic » Sat Nov 04, 2017 9:24 pm

So very sorry to read this. I always enjoyed Eric's uplifting posts that showed his zest for life. He was one of the good guys. May he forever RIP!

Lynch Syndrome II (MSH2) / Muir-Torre Syndrome
Malignant Polyp Cecum-Right Hemi-Colectomy June 2008
Rare Sebaceous Carcinoma of the nose from Lynch Syndrome 1/2011
Daughter 27 stage 2 colon cancer 2006 Right Hemi-Colectomy

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Maggie Nell
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Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 1:57 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby Maggie Nell » Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:33 am

OUR DEPARTED LOVED ONES

The dead are not distant or absent. They are alongside us. When we lose someone to death, we lose their physical image and presence, they slip out of visible form into invisible presence. This alteration of form is the reason we cannot see the dead. But because we cannot see them does not mean that they are not there. Transfigured into eternal form, the dead cannot reverse the journey and even for one second re-enter their old form to linger with us a while. Though they cannot reappear, they continue to be near us and part of the healing of grief is the refinement of our hearts whereby we come to sense their loving nearness. When we ourselves enter the eternal world and come to see our lives on earth in full view, we may be surprised at the immense assistance and support with which our departed loved ones have accompanied every moment of our lives. In their new, transfigured presence their compassion, understanding and love take on a divine depth, enabling them to become secret angels guiding and sheltering the unfolding of our destiny.

John O'Donohue
Excerpt from BEAUTY
DX April 2015, @ 54
35mm poorly diff. tumour, incidental finding following emergency r. hemicolectomy
for ileo-colic intussusception.
Lymph nodes: 0/22
T3 N0 MX
July 2019 : pending liver U/S, colonoscopy
rut roh

tammylayne
Posts: 2177
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:24 am

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby tammylayne » Sun Nov 05, 2017 2:06 pm

I think of Eric, and many others everytime I come here. My life is better because of people I never "met", yet they became people I "knew". People I would never recognise walking down the street, but could tell you things that even their closest family members didn't know about them. I maybe didn't know where they lived, but I knew HOW they lived.

Our journies are different, they are our.
s. We do this alone, yet we do it together. Yes....my life is better because of everyone here.
51 F
'06 Stage 1 CC,
'10 Stage 3 Rectal

"You never know how strong you are until you have to become your own hero."

Lee
Posts: 5938
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby Lee » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:22 pm

tammylayne wrote:I
Our journies are different, they are our.
s. We do this alone, yet we do it together. Yes....my life is better because of everyone here.


With my wind glass, a toast! Our online community is truly amazing!

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

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susie0915
Posts: 932
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:17 am
Facebook Username: Susan DeGrazia Hostetter
Location: Michigan

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby susie0915 » Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:19 pm

tammylayne wrote:I think of Eric, and many others everytime I come here. My life is better because of people I never "met", yet they became people I "knew". People I would never recognise walking down the street, but could tell you things that even their closest family members didn't know about them. I maybe didn't know where they lived, but I knew HOW they lived.

Our journies are different, they are our.
s. We do this alone, yet we do it together. Yes....my life is better because of everyone here.

I don't think anyone could've said it better Tammy. I joined this forum after going through treatment but I can say I have gotten some good advice, read stories that have inspired me, and stories that have brought tears to my eyes. I wish I would've found this group while undergoing treatment, but I'm glad I found it. There are a lot of special people here.
58 yrs old Dx @ 55
5/15 DX T3N0MO
6/15 5 wks chemo/rad
7/15 sigmoidoscopy/only scar tissue left
8/15 Pet scan NED
9/15 LAR
0/24 nodes
10/15 Bowel blockage. surgery,early ileo rev, c-diff inf :(
12/15 6 rds of xelox
5/16 Clear CT lung scarring/inflammation
9/16 clear colonoscopy
4/17 CT 4mm lung nod
7/17 no change lung nod
10/17 Clear pel/abd CT
11/17 CEA<.5
1/18 CT/Lung no change in 4mm nodule
5/18 CEA<.5, clear CT pel/abd/lung nod no change
11/18 CEA .6
5/19 CT NED, CEA <.5

Surroundedbylove
Posts: 3124
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:43 am
Location: Seattle

Re: 2017 : In Memoriam

Postby Surroundedbylove » Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:20 am

James65 wrote:Probably there are only a few who remember Brady. He was the guy that welcomed me in back in 2006. I've never really gotten past his loss, or that of justsing, another beautiful person who helped me through the first of what would become many stages of cancer. And now Brown Bagger. We don't get past or over the loss of these people. We learn to live with the loss.

Such very sad, sad news.


It is my cancerversary and I logged on for the first time in a couple of years and saw this terrible news about Eric. And yes, he is right up there with Brady, JustSing, and Gaelen in terms of such valuable insight to us all. He and I shared similar timelines and patches so I sit here with no words - just tears. We had many on and offline conversations and shared so many different tips for living life well in spite of what cancer dealt us. I too felt like he’d live forever - or at least much longer than this. My deepest condolences to his family and close friends. He left this world a better place for his many contributions to it.
Surroundedbylove

Rectal Cancer @ 43, '08
Clinical: T3,N2a,MX (IIIB)
6 wks XELOX & radiation
LAR, colonic j-pouch, & temp ileo '09
Surgical: ypT3,ypN0,ypMX (0 of 20 nodes)
FOLFOX; XELOX
Ileo Takedown ‘09
LARS for 10 years before learning it is finally being studied
InterStim Sacral Nerve Neuromodulator 2019

kiwiinoz
Posts: 1123
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:44 pm

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby kiwiinoz » Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:40 pm

I did some cleaning on NYE, I took my hard copy printed scans that I got at dx (ok I still have the soft copies), and my wife and I shredded them together at work. Time to put cancer behind me, to move on and start a new stage of our lives. Finish the 5 years and start 2019 afresh.
I went out for a run this morning. The start of a new year, the chance to move on and change issues from our past.
It was a nice run, and then I hit Centennial Park (big park in the eastern suburbs near where I live which is like exercise central) and there was tonnes of guys exercising, you know the NY resolution mob, etc, and there were so many guys in lycra on bikes, racing, having coffee, shooting the breeze with each other and I realized that no matter how much I have and will "move on" that there are some things that I will always take with me.
The memory of what Eric was, what he did, what he offered to the board, and the friendship he gave to me, and to so many others hear.
Yes, it is 18 months since he passed, but I'll never forget him.

The biggest regret I have over the past 5 years was not having gone to the US to meet him. We talked a little bit about it, my wife wanted me to go, and I took the option of going to Europe to have my "own" holiday. I wish I had gone and met Eric in person.

Ride In Peace Brownbagger, ride with those hawks and know the world was a better place for you having been here.
Stage IV Rectal Cancer (39 Year old male at dx)
pT3N0M1 (wish that was M0)
Diagnosed 05 Dec 2012
LAR 05 Jan 2013
VATS 27 Feb 2013
FOLOFX April 2013 - Sep 2013
Clear Scan 03 Dec 2013 - 22 May 2019
Port Out 26 March 2015

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muskokamike
Posts: 217
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 4:38 pm

Re: BrownBagger ....... I don't know what to say

Postby muskokamike » Tue Jan 01, 2019 9:55 pm

kiwiinoz wrote:
Yes, it is 18 months since he passed, but I'll never forget him

Ride In Peace Brownbagger, ride with those hawks and know the world was a better place for you having been here.


We all have regrets in our journey. I remember Eric was debating getting his teeth fixed but it came at a hefty cost.

He had this great quote on his profile, I will never forget it "Live your life like it's going to be a long one because it just might be and then you'll be glad you did" I reminded him of his own quote but sadly he passed about a year later after getting his teeth done.

Eric was a inspiration to me when I joined here and I read all his post. They were informative, helpful and honest. I am positive if there is a Tour de Heaven Eric would be flashing those pearly whites all the way to the finish line.
53M Dx rc10/31/13
and a huge WTF?....then
CT scan, BONE scan
MRI/T3N0M0 1 suspicious node
5 wks chemo/rad
LAR open TME 2/26/14
temp ileo
0/24 nodes pCR - pathological
Mop up Folfox (8) Mar/28-Jul/4
Aug/14 clear CT scan
8/27/14 reversal
Feb/15 clear scope
July/15 clear CT scan
Feb/16 clear CT scan
Feb/17 clear CT scan
Feb/18 clear scope
Feb/18 clear CT scan
CEA levels 1.6 dx
1.6,1.4,1.7,2.4,2.9, 2.7 2.3 2.5 2.2 2.1 2.5
2.6 Sept 18
0-4 normal


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