Hello Tater and welcome to the forum. Sorry you have to be here but you will find a lot of information and many people willing to chime in to give you their opinions.
Regarding your question as to why didn't the 5FU stop the spread.....you have to remember that the 5FU given with radiation is NOT the same strength as what a patient gets when he/she is going through rounds of chemo. Secondly, only having a reduced dose of 5FU for 4-5 weeks isn't going to necessarily stop any growth....it isn't meant to when given with radiation. Considering how small the liver spots were when they were found, it is likely that they were there from the beginning.
I've been on this forum for 10 years now and it does seem as though the treatment your wife is getting is pretty normal....in other words, I'm and not sure, at this stage, that going anywhere else would get you a different result. Just guessing here, but I think you'd find that anyplace your wife would go would at least start with this treatment. Remember, if the docs didn't think it would be successful, they wouldn't be putting a patient on that protocol. Over the years, I can't tell you how many members have come to this forum, devastated because they have been told that their liver mets (all with way more than three very tiny liver mets that your wife has) were inoperable, only to do months of chemo, have the mets disappear and have a liver resection and their cancer/rectal surgery. In other words, be positive, give it a shot and have faith that this IS the treatment that has been shown to be effective. It's a bummer when all the plans you think you have about cancer treatment are turned upside down and I can almost guarantee you that this won't be the first time that some glitch comes along and the 'plan' is altered. Along the way, your wife's treatment will likely take three steps forward and a step or two backwards. The important thing is you continue going forward....even if it means it takes a little longer to get to the end! Take all of this ONE day at a time. As others will tell you, cancer is a marathon....NOT a sprint.
Relax, take a breathe, go outside and look at the beauty that summer has to offer. Enjoy each other and just be there for your wife. You will get through this but remember, just take it ONE day at a time.
Best of luck.
Dx 6/22/2006 IIA rectal cancer
6 wks rad/Xeloda -finished 9/06
1st attempt transanal excision 11/06
11/17/06 XELOX 1 cycle
5 months Xeloda only Dec '06 - April '07
10+ blood clots, 1 DVT 1/07
transanal excision 4/20/07 path-NO CANCER CELLS!
NED now and forever!
Perform random acts of kindness