Hi and welcome,
I am so sorry no one has responded to you thread. I hope you see this and that others will respond too. Sometimes threads get buried fast around here. Butt know that you have come to the right place for information and support.
It sure sounds like you have been through a lot. I'm so sorry. Especially the pain, that has got to be the worst.
If you have to surgery done again, I'm going to recommend getting that permanent colostomy bag. I have one, best decision I made. It truly gave me my life back. Radiation while effect destroyed 2/3 of my rectal muscles, thus I was tied to the toilet anytime I ate. Please understand this was over 13 years ago, a lot of advancements since then. Butt my bag does not hold me back. I can be out all day, eat what I what not have to worry where the nearest bathroom is.
Is there a reason you are so against it? Have you talked to an Ostomy nurse yet? Really they are not that bad. I have better quality of life with mine. There is another site that might be help. I will locate it for you.
Hope this helps some,
Here is that other site, check it out. I hope it give you some direction. Again welcome,https://www.uoaa.org