The Colon Club

I was just talking to a friend, and the subject of how rough chemo can be came up. He went on and on, almost longingly, about how many people come to the realization that getting a few extra months of miserable life through chemo is so much worse than just going and being happy until the end.

I just kept saying "I hope it doesn't come to that", but I don't think dawned on him that everyone with cancer dreads being faced with deciding when to stop treatment. Nor did he seem to understand that dying from cancer is highly unlikely to be peaceful and pleasant, chemo or not. I'm pretty sure his entire point of reference was the death of a character on the TV show ER sitting on a beach.

DanInMN wrote: I'm pretty sure his entire point of reference was the death of a character on the TV show ER sitting on a beach.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I

the good old days before reality medical TV shows, yeah?

One of my chemo nurses related to me that her husband told her that if he ever got cancer, he'd never do chemo. He would go "all natural" and beat it that way.

I have had a touching experience with a pharmacist whose brother died of cancer, unbeknownst to me.

It was just a few days before Christmas 2016, and my nausea med wasn't cutting it. Onc gave me a written prescription for a new med. He had neglected to put the number of pills to be dispensed on the little paper, so in I go to get it filled with an incomplete prescription.

When I was called to the counter, I was greeted by a woman who had the personality of Oscar the Grouch. I was super nice to her, smiled, and we chatted about Christmas as she typed on her computer. I was extremely positive and happy (even though I felt horrid) and she became slightly less grumpy.

Then she said my onc left the number of pills to be given blank, and she grudgingly said she'd give me 30. (Probably highly illegal but at this point in my life I could care less.)


She said "I don't know why I am being nice!" Quite harshly, too. I told her it's Christmas, look for joy, etc etc etc. She got real tears in her eyes and said there was no more joy in life. I was taken aback big time, she had the face and eyes of a very wounded person in great pain. I leaned in and said my med was for chemo, I had been diagnosed with cc, and I was going to try to be happy until I couldn't.

Now Oscar the Grouch begins to cry! She gave me the saddest look and said her brother had just died of colon cancer. She said he had tried everything, and been a patient in the facility we were in at that moment and his symptoms had been ignored until it was too late.

I was floored and she leaned through the window and hugged me, gave me her name, and told me she'd help me in anyway possible. She still had tears in her eyes, but looked almost relieved when we said good bye.

Although I felt sad for her and her brother, our interaction was comforting in a way. She knew the true pain and struggle and loss cancer can bring into our lives.

But anyway, I don't discuss my treatment with my family outside spouse and a little to the kids. My aunt is a big FB poster about cancer, and how the FDA is hiding cures, natural alternatives, conspiracy, etc. I can imagine the advice she'd give and I don't have time or the brain space for it.

My deepest sympathies to those here who are subjected to it.

DanInMN wrote:Inorganic:

Your post is funny, true, and validates my feelings of rage about these same issues.

Ditto what DanInMN wrote! A few of your responses were better than the ones in my head ... I think I'm actually going to voice a few of yours!

I definitely struck a chord here. Feel free to use any of these. Honestly, I was trying to blow off some steam and thought I was being funny. I'm glad some of you got a chuckle.

I've had plenty of folks say things to me that just make me want to roll my eyes, and tell them to join the Flat Earth Society, but it sounds like some of you have heard things that are downright cruel. I'm really sorry to hear that.Any more of that crap, and I will be happy to visit and verbally put said individual in their place. (Hint: it's over there, away from the cancer thriver. Pick up that dirty sock while you're at it and insert appropriately.)

Miss Molly, you are a font of wisdom, but I'm just too mouthy.

Now I don't want anyone to get me wrong. I love carrots. They are delicious. They go great in salads, stews, pot pies, and are also just great for munching. But there is no anti-cancer munching.

OK, one more.

Person: There is a place in Mexico that heals cancer.
Me: Um, ok. I bet they prevent it too. You should go. Right now. Bring your credit cards.
Person: Well, I...
Me: No, no. Don't wait. It's the only way to be sure. Have fun. I bet that worm in the tequila bottle really does the trick.

-Kim

inorganic8 wrote:Now I don't want anyone to get me wrong. I love carrots. They are delicious. They go great in salads, stews, pot pies, and are also just great for munching. But there is no anti-cancer munching.

Person: There is a place in Mexico that heals cancer.
Me: Um, ok. I bet they prevent it too. You should go. Right now. Bring your credit cards.
Person: Well, I...
Me: No, no. Don't wait. It's the only way to be sure. Have fun. I bet that worm in the tequila bottle really does the trick.

-Kim

OK above joke is funny. true butt funny .

When I was in college, there was a guy who likes to juice his carrots A LOT! His skin actually turned orange. Not slight, butt orange. I learned from him there is such a thing as "too much of a good thing".

Came up with this one today:

Dude: Heard "X" will cure cancer.
Me: Yeah, how much? What's the dosage? What kind? How many times a week? The green or the yellow one? Do I eat it or shove it up my ass?

They got the point.

BIG ROB 69 wrote:Came up with this one today:

Dude: Heard "X" will cure cancer.
Me: Yeah, how much? What's the dosage? What kind? How many times a week? The green or the yellow one? Do I eat it or shove it up my ass?

They got the point.

Hahaha...oh Rob, that is precious...Can't wait to use the last sentence in my next retort to unsolicited advice. Bowel cancer may take a lot away from us but only we can let go of our sense of humor. You have made my day...

Not too long ago, my brother-in-law emailed me to tell me I was silly to do the radiation and chemo. All I needed was baking soda and lemon juice, that would cure me. I did not write him back, but my coworker and I did have a fun day joking about heading out for a glass of lemonade with some baking soda mixed in, etc. He helped me stay grounded when I could have been very upset.

inorganic8 wrote:OK, one more.

Person: There is a place in Mexico that heals cancer.
Me: Um, ok. I bet they prevent it too. You should go. Right now. Bring your credit cards.
Person: Well, I...
Me: No, no. Don't wait. It's the only way to be sure. Have fun. I bet that worm in the tequila bottle really does the trick.
-Kim

SSSSSSShhhhhhhh....now everyone will want one!

BIG ROB 69 wrote:Came up with this one today:

Dude: Heard "X" will cure cancer.
Me: Yeah, how much? What's the dosage? What kind? How many times a week? The green or the yellow one? Do I eat it or shove it up my ass?

They got the point.

HaHa That is a good one Rob especially that last line . I agree, could come in handy some day.

This thread is great and as made me laugh more than once.

Lee

I can relate to your statements!

When faced with my own medical crisis back in November, I was scared and turned to my family. My sister's answer was, " I knew people who lived with a bag in college and they did just fine." Who the heck says that to someone, let alone your own sibling? Ugh!

As mentioned above, I have a few close friends that I confide in and they are my true support system. Hopefully, you have family or close friends that are there for you. I wish you the best.

I have a very good friend going through, chemo just once a month, but is hospitalized while he gets heavy chemo, spinal injections and who knows what else for a week of every month. He has lymphoma. He also has a 16 year old daughter, so ask him if getting poisoned, should be exchanged for carrots.

This is a conspiracy of the carrot industry. BigCarrot wants us to be dependent on their product to turn orange. They don't want you to know the truth. You can turn orange from just a spray tan. I've been on the run from BigCarrot for a long time. I know their thugs will eventually find and silence me. But until they do, I'm going to spread the truth.

BIGCARROT IS A LIE. EAT CELERY... and ice cream.

Andi wrote:I can relate to your statements!

When faced with my own medical crisis back in November, I was scared and turned to my family. My sister's answer was, " I knew people who lived with a bag in college and they did just fine." Who the heck says that to someone, let alone your own sibling? Ugh!

As mentioned above, I have a few close friends that I confide in and they are my true support system. Hopefully, you have family or close friends that are there for you. I wish you the best.

I turn to friends who are more like family than my own family. The bloods are, to put it bluntly, useless a-holes. I lost my mom and was diagnosed all within six weeks last year, and their sage advice was, "Get over it. You bring us down."

So, I chose to get over them and turn to people who truly care.