Things Not to Say and the Responses I want to Make (Rant)

[inorganic8]

BEV ... homie !!!!

…so do your Peruvian goat milk enemas with Laetrile chasers in the latest holistic cleanse and I’ll see you on the other side

So are these Peruvian goats behind BigCarrot? This conspiracy is international. It has more layers than I originally suspected. Maggie suggested gerbils were involved too. Who next, guinea pigs, parakeets, Spaghetti Western authors? Where does this rabbit hole end?

[inorganic8]

WELL...I see you all have been having fun during my short sabbatical (9 yr old grandson w/me for last 3 wks)

This topic has come up before re: the things people say that tend to offend cancer patients. My DH never did express anything to me that he found offensive. How about some things that you may have found useful or comforting/appropriate that people have said...any takers?

BS

I see. Was that really 3 weeks with your "grandson", or were you perhaps in a BigCarrot reeducation camp? Notice how quickly she tries to change the subject? Yes, let's talk about nice things, comforting things, pay no attention to BigCarrot and the Peruvian Goats. Are you one of THEM, BS? Or worse, are you an agent of BigCarrot masquerading as our friend while you keep her imprisoned in the carrot mines. Is there no low to which you monsters will not stoop?!

We will come for you BS. No carrot mine prison can hold you.

(Wow, I have really gone off the deep end.)

It's nice to finally speak with you. I hope you had a wonderful visit with your grandson. Welcome back.

-Kim

[Lee]

BEV ... homie !!!!

…so do your Peruvian goat milk enemas with Laetrile chasers in the latest holistic cleanse and I’ll see you on the other side

So are these Peruvian goats behind BigCarrot? This conspiracy is international. It has more layers than I originally suspected. Maggie suggested gerbils were involved too. Who next, guinea pigs, parakeets, Spaghetti Western authors? Where does this rabbit hole end?

Forget the Laetrile chasers unless you are talking about Amaretto. Then yes, much more fun with Amaretto. Both Laetrile and Amaretto are made from the pits of apricots, and we all know that apricot pits cure cancer, just like eating organic broccoli and what else CARROTS

It's a conspiracy I tell you . A conspiracy.

Lee

P.S. Peanut I love your Big Carrot video.

[Swirdfish]

WELL...I see you all have been having fun during my short sabbatical (9 yr old grandson w/me for last 3 wks)

This topic has come up before re: the things people say that tend to offend cancer patients. My DH never did express anything to me that he found offensive. How about some things that you may have found useful or comforting/appropriate that people have said...any takers?

BS

I see. Was that really 3 weeks with your "grandson", or were you perhaps in a BigCarrot reeducation camp? Notice how quickly she tries to change the subject? Yes, let's talk about nice things, comforting things, pay no attention to BigCarrot and the Peruvian Goats. Are you one of THEM, BS? Or worse, are you an agent of BigCarrot masquerading as our friend while you keep her imprisoned in the carrot mines. Is there no low to which you monsters will not stoop?!

We will come for you BS. No carrot mine prison can hold you.

(Wow, I have really gone off the deep end.)

It's nice to finally speak with you. I hope you had a wonderful visit with your grandson. Welcome back.

-Kim

LOL what did I just read !!!

[BIG ROB 69]

WTF! If I wanted to read all this butt hurt, I'd stay on Facebook.

[CRguy]

Don't stay on FB it is owned by the Peruvian Goat Mafia
BigCarrot runs it

[CRguy]

So are these Peruvian goats behind BigCarrot? This conspiracy is international. It has more layers than I originally suspected. Maggie suggested gerbils were involved too. Who next, guinea pigs, parakeets, Spaghetti Western authors? Where does this rabbit hole end?

Where does this rabbit hole end?
With the Spanish Inquisition .. BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW from Monty Python ...

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition ........ and just look what happened to the Norwegian Blue parrot

be afraid .. be VERY afraid

LOOK what happened to the Spanish Inquisition ... ?
How many Norwegian Blue parrots have you seen recently ... ?
How many Spaghetti Westerns have you seen recently ...?
gerbils, guinea pigs, wombats, voles, vegans ... herbivores ALL

BigCarrot is amongst us
THIS is his revenge !!!!!

SO the next time you hear '''ummm .... WHAT's UP Doc ?? "

BE afraid .. be very afraid

OR in the alternative :
grab a life
grab a sense of HUMOR !!!!!
and grab a chill pill

Jeez Louise people ...... seriously ????
THIS topic was a relief and a release from the 24/7 shitstorm we usually deal with
aptly entitled
Things Not to Say and the Responses I want to Make (Rant)


Thank you to all who kinda ..... GOT IT

CR

[PainInTheAss]

BevG,

Who said anything about walking up the mountain? Your hostile comments don't exactly comport with the terms of use of this site and with its purpose:

The Colon Club Message Board was designed for those who have been diagnosed with colorectal cancer, their friends, family and caregivers to come together for support, respect, understanding, kindness, hope, and strength.

Regarding who has cancer: First, what does that matter? Second, my husband has cancer, yes, but he is not following an entirely conventional treatment. He is using supplements and diet.

Nasty bullies my husband called the lot of you. I am getting to see for myself what he meant.

Dude, you are so way off. We cancer patients were commenting on people telling us to just eat some food to cure us and you came back with a defense of an alternative regimen. Stop. Stop. Stop. No one was talking about other cancer patients actually following an alternative regimen giving us advice. The original post was about non-cancer patients, in other words ignorant people, giving us advice about something they know nothing about.

This actually happened to me with my brother who is an ER doc. He sent me a link to an article about blueberries or broccoli, I don't remember. I do know he probably did it wishing there was something he could do to "save" me. I didn't get offended, and I kindly replied that I was trusting in conventional treatment which actually cures the majority of patients who undergo it for stage I, II, and III. Many people seem to find that surprising when you tell them. Why not just stick with what works?

I followed blogs of patients with advanced cancer who tried just about every alternative treatment there is, and they all died. I have also followed blogs of people who only did conventional treatment and have been cured (some who were stage IV). That's all the evidence I need. But I do understand that a stage IV patient or a loved one of any cancer patient would want to try everything to save their lives. The desperation is completely understandable and not silly at all. But we are not talking about that. Not even remotely. Literally, this tread is about non-cancer patients saying ignorant things. Period. Please do not look at every thread as an attack on your lifestyle choices. No one was even talking about that, which is why so many have been reacting harshly. Your defense was wholly out of place.

[PainInTheAss]

Ok, I am terrible. I admit it. But here's my rationalization: I am so tired of those few, but all to real individuals who have never had cancer, have never been a caregiver, and yet somehow know everything there is to know about cancer. Most people are kind and supportive, but to those others, I just have some things I really want to say. I don't. I just think them, but I really, really want to.

Person: I’m sorry to hear your husband has colon cancer. My brother-in-law died from that.
Me: …

Person: Cancer is a multi-billion-dollar conspiracy. Big Pharma knows the cure, they are just suppressing it to make money.
Me: You are objectively wrong. Go home and watch YouTube videos of the “fake” moon landing.

Person: You know [Insert something here like carrots, green tea, cinnamon, broccoli, pomegranate juice, etc.] cures cancer.
Me: No, it doesn’t. Carrots do not cure cancer. Carrots have never cured cancer. Since the dawn of the universe itself, at absolutely no point in time have carrots ever cured cancer. EVER!
Person: But there’s a book by [some bonehead] about how she cured cancer by juicing carrots.
Me: Carrots do not cure cancer. Refer to previous tirade.
Person: But a friend of mind said that their friend cured their cancer with carrots.
Me: Your friend is either a liar or badly deluded. You should not associate with people like that.

Person: In my opinion, chemotherapy is worse than the disease.
Me: Your opinion is wrong and you should feel bad for having it.

Person: Chemotherapy is poison. Your husband should stop taking it immediately and focus on Eastern Medicine and alternative therapies.
Me: No. We will not be stopping chemo. And as for you suggesting that we do, I’m not judging, but you are a terrible person.

I can't promise that I will never say any of these things, but I will try very hard not to.

My tried and true response to this and so many other jaw dropping situations is, "How were you expecting that question/comment/suggestion to make me feel?" This usually stops them dead in their tracks because your feelings were the last thing on their mind. It's a polite way to let them know you were offended without making a scene or offending the person in return.

And another way to say, "None of your business," is "The answer to that question is not the topic of pleasant conversation." You don't have to answer questions just because someone is asking.

It is against our nature to be intentionally rude when someone is simply ignorant, which is why so many of us think things in our heads but don't say them. I think most people mean well and just don't know what to say, or they say the first thing that comes to their mind without thinking. When someone realizes they said the wrong thing, you can gently coach them on the proper thing to say which is, "I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you." And that's it. We really have no idea what it's like to be a cancer patient until we are one, so we have to give them a little slack. I'm sure I've said the wrong thing before out of ignorance.

BigCarrot, lmao

[Maggie Nell]

Mercury joins Mars in Cancer today, so the planet of communication teams up with the warrior planet in a very emotional sign indeed! It could be a good time to get things off our chest and out into the open, but we should be aware that we might end up expressing ourselves from quite a subjective, unconscious and not exactly rational place! Cancer does represent the patterns of relating created in childhood, so this combination could cause our more unconscious feelings and emotions to come popping out inappropriately! Mars is quite impulsive and assertive, and in Cancer could make us quite moody and reactionary. However, sometimes it's good to let people know exactly how we are feeling, even if it isn't quite rational! ~ Amy Bird, astrologer

The gerbils made me do it! They've got my goat!!

[peanut_8]

[zephyr]

I literally laughed out loud!

[mpbser]

"Please do not look at every thread as an attack on your lifestyle choices. No one was even talking about that, which is why so many have been reacting harshly. Your defense was wholly out of place."

I don't think you are getting what the "BigCarrot" reference is, or else you'd understand that pretty much everyone on this thread *is* talking about that. In any case, I wasn't offended by that at all, however, because it's funny when it's not used as a direct sarcastic attack (such attacks were used in a previous thread started by my husband which were particularly vile given the circumstances). It's obvious what the predominant forum culture is here.

What I was offended by was offended by the bullying attempts (references to the authorities of this board, e.g. the "scientist" whom was mentioned and the elder status of another) to alienate me and run me off this board ("this board isn't for you"). Defending myself from such attacks sure doesn't seem wholly out of place to me.

[peanut_8]

sometimes words are inadequate

[inorganic8]

Mercury joins Mars in Cancer today, so the planet of communication teams up with the warrior planet in a very emotional sign indeed! It could be a good time to get things off our chest and out into the open, but we should be aware that we might end up expressing ourselves from quite a subjective, unconscious and not exactly rational place! Cancer does represent the patterns of relating created in childhood, so this combination could cause our more unconscious feelings and emotions to come popping out inappropriately! Mars is quite impulsive and assertive, and in Cancer could make us quite moody and reactionary. However, sometimes it's good to let people know exactly how we are feeling, even if it isn't quite rational! ~ Amy Bird, astrologer

The gerbils made me do it! They've got my goat!!

I see what you did there. (It was awesome.)