The Colon Club

Dear BeansMama,

Inorganic8 wrote:
Here's what I hope and pray and wish for you:
1. Next month you will be NEL (No evidence of Larry)
2. You will do whatever other treatments you need and just keep feeling better and better until you are officially NED.
3. You live a long, happy, fulfilling life.
4. It would be nice if this jack wagon realized the magnitude of his mistake and the hurt he caused you, but you'll be too busy with item 3 on this list. Success is by far the best revenge.
5. If some multi-billionaire falls madly in love with you, that's just icing on the cake.

Wow I Totally agree !
If my English and writing was better - that is precisely what I would have written in my previous post

How awful your husband did that to you!*hugs* I'm sorry you're dealing with an upcoming divorce! *hugs* I'm glad you will be having surgery and that you have out driving! Wishing you all the best!

Ouch Beansmama, that's a serious stress you really didn't need.
Hang in there! Focus on yourself, your children, and getting Larry the hell out of dodge!

Many hugs!

Beansmama, I am glad that surgery is on the horizon and the Keytruda did the trick. My 2 cents-Go slow on all the other loose issues. Move at a pace that feels natural and right. At this stage you probably go between shock and disbelief with a little bit of betrayal and are pissed as all get out-rightly so. If possible try some couples therapy even if the therapy itself is about divorce. Peace to you and may this burden get lighter. Bob

I am glad you are doing better on the CRC front.
As for the affair, so sorry. So many of us have had to experience that. My husband during his alcoholic years started a 3 year affair with his first cousin when I was 8 months pregnant with my third and my mother was just diagnosed with her second primary cancer (stage 1 breast) a week before. It is trauma. Especially when you need them and expect they will be there for you. You need to make sure you get support and talk to someone. Get a therapist that has dealt with this before. Also join a support group. I am so so sorry you have to go through this at a time that you are kicking cancers butt. Hang in there.

Congrats Beansmama on the Keytruda success! I hope and pray that they will get Larry out of there ASAP!!!

This is Big Larry from Kingston in South Australia.

Glad to hear the Keytruda has given you a valued outcome. Hope a redhot man comes into your life
because there is nothing sweeter than a revenge bonk. Take no prisoners.

July!! Nothing matters right now except getting rid of Larry. You alway have my best wishes.

So sorry to hear about your troubles with your husband, but understand that some people are more mature than others. You appear to be in a good mature mindset, which is good for both issues you are facing. Clearly your husband has made a poor choice based on what we see in you here on this blog. You are thoughtful, considerate and well educated. I am certain that you know that you deserve better from a spouse. Make sure you tie into a church group, neighbors, and/or friend to help you get through this with some support. We are all here too!

As for Larry, that is good news to kick him out! You have many friends here Beans Mama and you do have the respect of many on this board based on all of your thoughtful posts and concerns for others who post here.

Remember, you can only fight the six inches in front of your face, all other things can be fought later down the road. Take care of what is right in front of you and then move along to the next thing that is right in front of you... Slow and steady and little bits of dealing with these issues will help you compartmentalize them and win them individually when the time is right.

We are glad the fight against cancer is on the upswing. Stay strong and know you are not alone:)
WS

Thank you everyone,

Your support has moved me to tears - but good tears.

I am seeing a therapist to make sense of the whole debacle. I have been for a little while now and I think that is one reason why I am doing much better with the whole thing.

I did make a stipulation when I first found out that absolutely nothing would happen in that department until I was healthy and recovered enough that I no longer needed assistance with some things and that I was able to be on mom duty 24/5 or whatever visitation we work out without any issues. So for now we live as room mates trying to co parent and be at least civil to one another. Some days it is easier than others.

I keep telling myself this too will pass and my future will be brighter than ever. If I can tackle all of this, anything else is a piece of cake.

I think your so right . You have faced the worst and still making a life for yourself. You sound very wise.
I have a friend who being very disappointed herself raised three very successful children . Two were head boy/girl , all three were bright and successful but also very enjoyable company. I often wondered how she achieved it. One day I asked her and very quickly she told me that she protected them from the reality of their situation. As they got older they made their own accurate judgement . I thought it was a total act of selflessness and I see that in you. You are quite incredible.
Take care,
Stu

I am so happy for you that your cancer is responding well....but sorry for your other challenges....you deserve better!
Stay strong...we are here for you.
Take care of yourself...sending love and strength your way.

BeansMama,

So happy to hear Keytruda is working for you and Larry is about to get served his eviction notice! But I'm sorry to hear about the pending divorce.

Your spirit is so strong, may it remain unbroken and untouched by this. You are fighting for your life, don't let this sad excuse of a husband deter you in any way. Take care of yourself and your kids. The end of a relationship is devastating for sure, but there is happiness down the road for you! Sending prayers and good thoughts your way!

Hugs to you,
Julie

Now I know why you have been constantly on my mind. I feel disbelief so I can't imagine how hard this has been and is for you. I am so encouraged to hear about the treatment though! You are so loved and supported by so many. I think you may be the strongest person I know. Take care of yourself and the kids. Be kind to yourself in every way.
Beth

Beansmama,

I am so happy to hear about Larry's approaching demise. I am so very sorry about your marital situation. You are handling everything with amazing grace. Continued prayers from a fellow Tarheel!