juliej wrote:I can identify with this. I've spent the last year looking for Julie B. C. (Julie before cancer). I rock-climbed, bicycled, kayaked, ran hundreds of miles up and down the mountains around me, practiced my t'ai chi, meditated and meditated some more. But the more I looked, the more I began to realize she no longer exists
Julie's statement resonates with me.
I have been on Palliative Care approaching 4 years for a life-limiting illness for which there is no prospect of getting better.
It is not a matter of trying to be who I used to be . . but rather to make the best of a less than good situation to create my best life given the present circumstances.
It is a surreal experience to witness my health and physical body deteriorate - despite a life-time of "clean" living and a passion for long-distance running. As a physical therapist I aided others in regaining of their health, and yet I am unable to do the same for myself.
If there is one caveat that I hold true to it is to live my life with no regrets.
To live my life with honesty. To be available fully for my family. Family is precious to me. When the chips are down, it is family who will be there for you.
I wish for everyone here more love than loss,
- Karen -