My forum family

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Steph20021
Posts: 482
Joined: Sat Dec 27, 2014 4:58 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: My forum family

Postby Steph20021 » Wed May 17, 2017 6:42 pm

I am so sorry. I don't have the words. It is not fair. This news breaks my heart.
DX 1/31/14 @ 33- SPS-T4a(invades visceral peri), N2a(6/106 LN), M1a(ovary) (Stage 4a) MSS
2/1/14-subtotal col, lost R ovary, temp ileo
3/14-9/14- folfox; sepsis
10/14- rev ileo
11/14-CT/PET: L ovary met, pelvic met, (?)ghost liver met(?)
12/14-folfiri -13 rds kept me stable from 3/15-6/15
7/15- clear flex sig
8/15-HIPEC, hysterectomy et al, 2nd temp ileo, NED?
09/15- cea 0.9
Current: abdo wall mets and lymph nodes
Jan/17- pulmonary embolism
Feb/17- 1 wk radiation to abdo wall
Current- folfiri 4 life

bitchslapped
Posts: 1295
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: My forum family

Postby bitchslapped » Wed May 17, 2017 6:51 pm

exaussie, My heart breaks for you, your DH & family for the loss of your precious daughter.
My deepest condolences to all of you.
Wise words to cancer patients & their families. Cancer is a family disease & takes its toll on all. It is difficult enough for adults to process despair & hopelessness.


BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07 fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia

User avatar
Bev G
Posts: 5838
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:19 pm
Facebook Username: Bev Golde
Location: Quechee, VT

Re: My forum family

Postby Bev G » Wed May 17, 2017 11:26 pm

I am so sorry to hear of this tragic news of your precious daughter. I wish I had helpful words to share, but I'm empty. Please know that you are loved and supported by your friends here. May peace surface through the dark.

Many wam hugs to you and yours.

Bev
58 yo Type1 DM 48 years
12/09 Stage IV 2/22 nodes + liver met, colon resec
3 tx FOLFIRI, liver resec 4/10
9/10 6 mos off chemo, Neg PET&CTC CEA nl
2/11 finished total 10 rounds chemo

9/13 ^17th clean PET/CT NED for now

weisssoccermom
Posts: 5748
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 2:32 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: My forum family

Postby weisssoccermom » Thu May 18, 2017 1:45 am

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. After having losing your son at such a young age, this is even more tragic. I wish I had the words to say that could somehow make this better...but there aren't any. Please know that your colonclub family is ALWAYS here for you....when you need to talk, vent, cry or just say hi. You have gone through so much....PLEASE take care of yourselves.

Our family's thoughts, prayers and love go out to you and your family.
Jaynee
Dx 6/22/2006 IIA rectal cancer
6 wks rad/Xeloda -finished 9/06
1st attempt transanal excision 11/06
11/17/06 XELOX 1 cycle
5 months Xeloda only Dec '06 - April '07
10+ blood clots, 1 DVT 1/07
transanal excision 4/20/07 path-NO CANCER CELLS!
NED now and forever!
Perform random acts of kindness

CLD
Posts: 175
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2015 7:16 pm

Re: My forum family

Postby CLD » Thu May 18, 2017 5:38 am

Soo sorry for your tragic loss. Words are insufficient. Peace to your family.
Wife to DH/ Father of 6 (age 42) diagnosed Jan 2015 stage III CC of Sigmoid Colon (by surgeon) (Oncologist says Stage iv)
Satellite tumor deposit in mesentary
13/24 lymph nodes involved
CEA at dx: 3
MSS
Low Grade / Moderately Differentiated
Oxiliplatin reduced 20% last 2 infusions
Post chemo neuropathy treated with Gabapentin
Clear scans so far!!!
Started FOLFOX Feb 2015 / Finished Aug 2015

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Maia
Posts: 2414
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:00 am

Re: My forum family

Postby Maia » Thu May 18, 2017 7:17 am

Just hugging you close over my heart, my dear exaussie. Keeping you safe there.
Please, be here with us, your forum family.

Lee
Posts: 5104
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: My forum family

Postby Lee » Thu May 18, 2017 11:25 am

I am so sorry for loss. You have endured so much. My thoughts and prayers go to you and family.

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

cmrl
Posts: 161
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:39 pm

Re: My forum family

Postby cmrl » Thu May 18, 2017 12:35 pm

I am very sorry for your loss. My stepson committed suicide many years ago, and the whole family is still effected by it.
Resection of splenic flexure 7/24/13
T3N2BM0, Stage 3c,12/29 nodes
Folfox x12 9/13-3/14
CT scan 4/14, enlarged spleen, otherwise clear
CT 4/15, spleen WNL.
6/17 3 cm benign polyp at ileocecal valve, awaiting removal

DarknessEmbraced
Posts: 2731
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:54 pm
Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: My forum family

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Thu May 18, 2017 1:59 pm

I'm so very sorry for loss of your daughter!*hugs*
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17

MissMolly
Posts: 381
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 4:33 pm
Location: Portland, Ore

Re: My forum family

Postby MissMolly » Thu May 18, 2017 5:00 pm

Exaussie:
I can simply find no words. I started to write a missive to you earlier, but I languished in trying to find the right words to say that would bring you comfort. It was like placing a bucket down a well, and the bucket coming up empty.

Perhaps sharing a personal momento will provide a window of understanding.

My brother was 16 years of age when he was diagnosed with a
Grade IV glioblastima multiforma. I was 12 years of age. My family was already experiencing stress related to my brother's epilepsy. He suffered from intractable grand mal seizures, multiple seizures a day. The timeframe was 1978. There was no ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), there were no provisions for special education in the public school system. Out-reach resources were scant.

I am if the opinion that a serious illness either pulls a family together or pulls a family apart. My family imploded. My family was not able to weather the surmounting toxic stress.

The bond between my brother and I was genuine. I was his "life guard" at school and protected him from the effects of bullying. I viscerally felt my brother's pain. My brother's pain was my pain.

I turned to long distance running as a means to cope with my brother's grim prognosis. I was inherently petite with a small body frame and feather weight. Running was a natural fit. I ran like a gazelle across the open and grassy plains. I ran. And I ran. And I ran. I would run upwards of 6-8 miles a day after school and assigned chores.

I ran to escape the pain of my brother's plight. I ran to numb the swirling sea of emotions that I did not know how to process. I ran to escape the dark shadows that followed behind me.

My passion for running seemed benign to those around me. But it was anything but harmless. I ran, pounding the ground with each step.

Running proved to be insufficient to relieve my emotional distress. A full-fledged eating disorder followed in due
course. I simply stopped eating. It was a silent cry for help.

I come from a family that does not identify with emotions. Emotions are seen as a sign of weakness and are best unexpressed. "Buck up," has long been my mother's commandment and admonishment. Tough Love. Neither parenting approach served me or my needs.

If I can offer any pearls of wisdom to families dealing with a life-altering illness, it would be to make sure that communication within the family is encouraged and allowed to flow freely. Do not be afraid of the expression of emotions, even emotions
that you may initially be intimidated by. Learn to recognize and name your own and varied emotions, and then engage your child to learn to recognize and name emotions. Most of all, allow real emotions to flow. Allow crocodile-sized tears when the need presents itself. Do not demand that someone be "strong" as a false front or identity.

My brother is now 60 years of age and I am 56. In the perplexity reality, my health is immeasurably more comprised than his. I manage my brother's finances and serve as his de-facto parent.

Exaussie, I hold you in tender prayer. I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter and endearing son. May they be reunited in spirit in the presence of God. May you have peace knowing you were the one-and-only mother that they both needed.
- Karen -
Devoted daughter to my father, diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer Nov-2014.
Dear friend to Bella Piazza, former CC member.
I have a permanent ileostomy and offer advice on living with an ostomy.
I have been on Palliative Care for broad endocrine failure + Addison's disease + osteonecrosis of both hips/jaw + immunosuppression and recurrent infection x 4 years. I transitioned to Hospice Sept-2016, but it was not yet my time. I am back on Palliative Care and live a simple life due to frail health.

tammylayne
Posts: 2154
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:24 am

Re: My forum family

Postby tammylayne » Thu May 18, 2017 8:57 pm

Gentle hugs....sending you so many gentle hugs....
51 F
'06 Stage 1 CC,
'10 Stage 3 Rectal

"You never know how strong you are until you have to become your own hero."

Jacques
Posts: 408
Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:38 am

Re: My forum family

Postby Jacques » Fri May 19, 2017 2:24 pm

This is so tragic and so unbelievable. I'm very sorry for you and your family.

You have been a wonderful mother to your beloved son and daughter, and you have have been a faithful contributor to this Forum ever since you first registered here. Please remember, you are loved and appreciated very much here and we are here to support you if you ever have a need for us.

God bless you and your family. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Last edited by Jacques on Tue May 23, 2017 2:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
DX(2012): RC
Stage IIc,T4b N0 M0 L0 PN1 H0 D0 P0 I1
LAR
MSI: not tested
Chimio-radiothérapie
Chimiothérapie adjuvante : capécitabine + oxaliplatine
CEA < 1.0,
5 years NED,
End of 6-month follow-ups: 7/2017
----
Info links:
Create Your Signature
How to Select a Surgeon
List of Forum Features
Colorectal Cancer Stages (TNM)

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juliej
Posts: 2723
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:59 pm

Re: My forum family

Postby juliej » Fri May 19, 2017 4:56 pm

I can't even imagine the heartache you must feel. It sounds like your daughter was in a place of very deep emotional pain and confusion. It's important to realize it wasn't because of something you did or didn't do. Please take care of yourself and know that all of us here are holding you and your family in our hearts.
Stage IV, liver/lung mets 8/4/2010
Xelox+Avastin 8/18/10 to 10/21/11
LAR, liver resec, HAI pump 11/11
Double lung surgery + ileo reversal 2/12
Adjuvant Xeloda 3-9/12
VATS rt. lung 12/21/12 - benign granuloma!
NED 3/17/12 to 6/19/2017, CEA<1

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chixter
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2014 5:31 pm

Re: My forum family

Postby chixter » Sat May 20, 2017 8:47 pm

I cannot imagine this double dose of soul crushing sadness. I am truly sorry for you. We face a world that at times is indeed cruel. Heartbreak is a state of being that some are just not capable of pushing aside. Our thoughts of love go out to you.
ImageFather/Caregiver to beautiful 25 y/o daughter with mCRC Stg 4

Buckeye
Posts: 93
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 7:02 pm

Re: My forum family

Postby Buckeye » Sun May 21, 2017 10:03 pm

I am truly sorry and have no words. I honestly can't imagine your pain and anguish. My prayers are with you . I lost my brother to sepsis and I know the sorrow and feeling of helplessness you must feel. God bless you and may he bring you peace.
Dx 10/20/15 stage 1 T1N0M0 1.3cmx1.1cmx1cm low grade ( well to moderately differentiated) Rectal cancer age 47
Loving Husband and father of two girls age 19 & 15 Sole income provider
CEA <0.5
CT, MRI and PET show no metastatic spread
LAR Laparoscopic TME 11/30/15 with Illo
Pathology clean no lymph node or vascular involvement. Confirmed Stage1
No chemo/rad cancer free now and forever.
Illo reversal 01/26/16


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