I'm still in the early stages of treatment, so can't really help with the bathroom part of your post, but you asked for suggestions for funny gifts for your surgeon and I had to post. Two years ago for Christmas, I gave my husband a plush rectum. I ordered it from Amazon. The company makes a variety of plush organs, and for some reason I decided to get him a rectum. Perhaps your surgeon would enjoy one as well?
Stage IIIB Rectal Cancer
Diagnosed at age 39
3/23/17 - 5/2/17 Chemoradiation, 28 treatments
6/14/17 Robotic LAR with temp loop ileostomy, ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, 2/21 lymph nodes positive
7/24/17 Started CapeOx
7/24/17 Diagnosed with precursor ovarian cancer
CEA at diagnosis 0.9