My, I'm getting chatty these days. Must be because I'm all caught up on my work and don't have any medical stuff for another month or so. So, please bear with me, if you choose, as I ramble on.
As I've observed many times before, cancer forces you to make some tough life choices--choices that you can't put off or ignore. It forces those of us who like to procrastinate into action, whether we like it or not. It's not a bad thing, if you want to look at it that way.
I decided early on, as part of getting my head straight, that I wasn't going to let my health problems get in the way of me living my life the way I want. And for the most part, I haven't. But it doesn't get any easier as the disease progresses and the end appears to be not that far off. Still, I go for it. I have a contract renewal for some freelance work coming up, and while I'm not sure I'll be able to fulfill the one-year obligation, I'm going for it. I've never mentioned my health situation to these people in the six years I've been working for them, and don't intend to now. I imagine they know, but I'm not bringing it up, and I don't imagine they will, either. That approach has gotten me this far, and I see no real reason to change. Another example is a business trip to Sweden in June. I don't know what kind of shape I'll be in in June, but I went ahead and made the plane reservations, hotel, rental car commitment, etc. How would I feel if I bailed and June rolled around and I was doing just fine? Pretty bummed, that's how. The list goes on. My wife and I have been planning to relocate from NY to Wisconsin in the spring of 2018, and I have big plans for work to be done on the family tree farm, where we'll be living. Is that a realistic approach, all things considered? I don't know, but I'm going for it just like I would if I didn't have this crummy disease. That's probably the most important thing in my life at the moment, and I ain't giving it up.
I truly believe that if I had given up on my hopes, dreams and opportunities years ago that I'd be dead now. Nothing to live for.
Dx: 3/09, Stage 4 RC
Recurrences: (ongoing, lung, bronchial cavity, ribs)
Major Ops: 6/ RFA: 3 /bronchoscopies: 8
Pelvic radiation: 5 wks. Bronchial radiation—brachytheray: 3 treatments
Chemo Rounds (career):136
Current Chemo Cocktail: Xeloda & Erbitux & Irinotecan biweekly
Current Cocktail; On the Wagon (mostly)
Bicycle miles post-dx 10,477
Motto: Live your life like it's going to be a long one, because it just might, and then you'll be glad you did.