The Colon Club

who post for the sake of posting and being on the first page, who actually care only about themselves, who rant same darn thing over and over, who think that everyone else has it easier than them, and who confuse honesty with their verbal diarrhea...
Madness cant be cured, but can be alleviated with the professional help. The absence of dignity and honor cant be cured or alleviated. When one intends to leave this such a bad forum, they should remember to close the door, instead of humiliating themselves even more....
I think, many people had enough of such a revolting behavior...Vilca

I am very new here, but I expect lots of sadness, despair, and frustration when dealing with cancer.

Some people are more stoic, or accepting of their lot. Some of us-including me- flail around a bit.

I expect sad people dealing with their mortality here. I am glad I have this place, because even my friends and family don't understand the big C like my fellow big Cers.

Anyone I see flailing, venting, or crying out, I don't judge. How can I judge someone for their feelings when being seriously ill and undergoing harsh treatment? I just move on to read threads that interest me.

I will let others judge. I have compassion for those who are in the pit of themselves.

I wish cancer treatment did have a mental health component. It's sorely needed. I was referred to a therapist who wanted me to wear bright colors and avoid colors "that police wear, dark blue," as part of my "treatment." She pushed pink clothing on me. Never in my life have I worn bright pastel colors. My clothes were the last thing I needed help sorting out. She made no sense to me, was constantly speaking about her life and adventures. I stopped going to sessions with her, as they were not helpful at all. I don't think she had any experience dealing with people facing cancer.

I am sure there are therapists who are better than her, but right now I don't want to go through the process of getting a referral, setting up an appointment, and dragging myself to appointments. The less I have to deal with my insurance company right now, the better. They are so difficult to deal with.

My best to you, Vilca. You are a brave person. I have read the threads were you travel alone to receive treatment overseas.

I do have some thoughts - I've read some posts straight out of The Twilight Zone during my time here that makes me very uncomfortable & I suspect others as well. Big difference between lending/receiving support vs self indulgence, attention mongering vs therapy. We are not medically trained/mental health-trained professionals here. There are issues that are outside the scope of this forum. Not to be confused as judgement or lack of compassion by our members. All we can do is recommend outside therapy. Sometimes we call it as we see it. It's as simple as that.

So having said all that, I have noticed some chronic thankers to every.single.reply., one by one, the ants go marching on, while appears gracious, it does keep their threads bumped above the threads of others & no longer "front page news."


JMObservation...
BS

I haven't been on here very long as my signature shows, but i do know that my diagnosis had a significant mental component as I couldn't sleep for more than two hours for a while before I started seeing a therapist. Anyway, there are others here in varying amount of distress and I cannot begin to predict what the mental health impact has been, or properly evaluate their coping mechanism. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe this forum has agreed upon rules and site moderators for dealing with issues.

I've been keeping up on the board, but not commenting a lot lately, been dealing with some issues with my dad. I have to agree with Vilca and BS on this one. It's getting old! We all, caregivers and patients alike, are dealing with a lot of things emotionally! Newbies will not know this, but what has been going on lately is a cycle. It happens everyone once in awhile, and yes, I feel awful for everyone dealing with this beast, but when people who truly care about you on this board suggest that you get some professional help and you choose to ignore and then come around with the same problems and threats over and over again, we give up! Everyone thinks we are mean for saying things, but this board cannot help people who need professional help! As BS put it, these threads are being bumped up and bumped up and then ones where people asking for help with different chemos etc are having their questions bumped down to the bottom or another page and missed.
This board was a huge help to me during my dads battle with cancer. I found answers to questions, great advice and the emotional support from many when I needed it most. I even made one dear friend who has really helped me through my journey. I appreciate when she is blunt with me and gets my head screwed back on straight. Sometimes when we are dealing with this shit, we get off track and need some one to be realistic. If you come here for that help and don't follow up on the advice given, then stop asking the same questions! The answers don't change!

I've been here for a few years and have managed to stay out of threads like this. I'll only comment on this once and that'll be it. What I'm going to say is not meant to incite anything. It's just simple things to make your life easier.

If a thread bothers you or you know the posting history/behavior of an individual, then don't read the posts/threads. No one is forcing you to click on anything. If you can't help yourself from clicking on threads/posts which cause you personal issues, there is an ignore function on this forum. It's under the friend or foe tab in your user control panel. Just add the person that causes you issues to the foe category and all of their posts/threads will be blocked from your view.

I have disagreements and opinions of certain posts but I keep them to myself many times. It's just not productive to get all bent out of shape over this. This board is some times the only avenue for people to open up and is their mental therapy. Who am I to judge? As long as there are not direct personal attacks and the content fits within proper forum etiquette, then people should be able to say whatever they want. This is a support forum for patients/survivors/care givers.

I'll go crawl back into my hole now.

bitchslapped wrote:I do have some thoughts - I've read some posts straight out of The Twilight Zone during my time here that makes me very uncomfortable & I suspect others as well. Big difference between lending/receiving support vs self indulgence, attention mongering vs therapy. We are not medically trained/mental health-trained professionals here. There are issues that are outside the scope of this forum. Not to be confused as judgement or lack of compassion by our members. All we can do is recommend outside therapy. Sometimes we call it as we see it. It's as simple as that.

So having said all that, I have noticed some chronic thankers to every.single.reply., one by one, the ants go marching on, while appears gracious, it does keep their threads bumped above the threads of others & no longer "front page news."


JMObservation...
BS

I am one of those "thankers" you speak about. I can tell you for me it has nothing to do with keeping my thread bumped. It is about actually being thankful that someone took the time out of their day to read and respond. I couldn't care less where my thread ends up. They die when they are ready to.

If you know which threads/posters it is just skip by them.

There's no need to be so mean.

My $.02. Generally I feel that we should show a greater level of tolerance here than we may in other circumstances.

Having said that, there does seems to be a pattern with certain posters that goes beyond a typical cancer rant. After being called out on inappropriate comments, they profess sorrow. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Butt never apologizing to the original person they maligned.

How effective can an apology really be if they never apologize to the person they called out? Well, then we hear that everyone does it, blah, blah blah. Fortunately, that just isn't true. Most people here on Colon Talk act like reasonable adults, and don't threaten to leave the forum if things don't go their way.

Everyone needs a break from time to time, just don't threaten to take all the toys with you when you go.

peanut

canadiandaughter wrote: As BS put it, these threads are being bumped up and bumped up and then ones where people asking for help with different chemos etc are having their questions bumped down to the bottom or another page and missed.

I am confused: do people not have the intelligence to navigate this forum and to go to the RH bottom of the screen and click '2' to turn the page...or
to avail themselves of the search function? Maybe there needs to be a 'next' button in big letters and chasing lights for the numerically impaired.

I worry that those who are newly diagnosed with CC will search online will find this wonderful forum.

Unfortunately they may not take it seriously because of all the Look at Me Me Me posts.

This forum has saved my life with information and good sense and friendly personal support.

It is sad that new people who come to the forum nowadays may not be able to see the posts which might help them among the Look at Me Me Me posts and Vote For Me Me Me posts. This may mean they don't find out about treatments which could have saved their lives.

This is an amazing Colorectal Cancer support resource. Back in 2011 when I was diagnosed it was the best information and support resource in the world.

Many of us have attempted to keep the forum open and unbiased and focused on lifesaving, not letting it be selfishly hijacked. I hope we will succeed.

Sophy

Maybe I'm one of the Me Me Me's but all of this being discussed is too much drama and I don't quite get it, how is it being hijacked? and the need to succeed?, where does that come from? This is the most successful forum on the internet or maybe it's my chemo fog, but I don't get it. Who here has the right to tell anyone they need urgent psych help, that's an insult in my book and better left unsaid or sent via pm or suggested nicely as a friend. And what is wrong with thanking the people that give you advice, seriously I wish I had the stamina to do like others do, one by one, but I'm basically a lazy person and I do one post for all thank you's. If you don't like a particular post, skip it. Or maybe I had to be here longer to understand it, seems the ones complaining have been around a long time but sure haven't been here in awhile, at least I haven't seen them much in the almost year I've been here. If you so dislike how it is, get back on here and be active.

I disagree that people can't find us here, there are new ones daily and guest amounts look pretty good to me but there could also be a big drop (only admin will know) based on the fact that they've opened up some new walls on Facebook and they're pretty good and cover lots of areas about CRC.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings on other sites or be disrespectful but they're not as good as here and I have to agree with Sophy, this is an amazing resource. But... the others are going to catch up or if a person spends a lot of time on FB, much easier to stay there if you find what you need instead of going out and finding the Club.

Hope I didn't get on too many shit lists now. Hugs... oxo

Pita wrote:Hope I didn't get on too many shit lists now. Hugs... oxo

You're on the second page of mine.

Here is what might solve the problem that this board seems to be having lately.

A 3 post a day max and you can't save them,

if you don't use 'em you lose 'em.

You log in you read the topics you want and you can reply or you can start a new topic but you can only hit that submit button 3X per day max.

Some posters seem to live on this board. I am still amazed at some when I look at the date joined and number of post.

Pita wrote:Maybe I'm one of the Me Me Me's but all of this being discussed is too much drama and I don't quite get it, how is it being hijacked? and the need to succeed?, where does that come from? This is the most successful forum on the internet or maybe it's my chemo fog, but I don't get it. Who here has the right to tell anyone they need urgent psych help, that's an insult in my book and better left unsaid or sent via pm or suggested nicely as a friend. And what is wrong with thanking the people that give you advice, seriously I wish I had the stamina to do like others do, one by one, but I'm basically a lazy person and I do one post for all thank you's. If you don't like a particular post, skip it. Or maybe I had to be here longer to understand it, seems the ones complaining have been around a long time but sure haven't been here in awhile, at least I haven't seen them much in the almost year I've been here. If you so dislike how it is, get back on here and be active.

I disagree that people can't find us here, there are new ones daily and guest amounts look pretty good to me but there could also be a big drop (only admin will know) based on the fact that they've opened up some new walls on Facebook and they're pretty good and cover lots of areas about CRC.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings on other sites or be disrespectful but they're not as good as here and I have to agree with Sophy, this is an amazing resource. But... the others are going to catch up or if a person spends a lot of time on FB, much easier to stay there if you find what you need instead of going out and finding the Club.

Hope I didn't get on too many shit lists now. Hugs... oxo

I think you've made many good points here Pita. There are a couple that I want to reply to. Since you haven't been here as long as some of the rest of us, you probably don't realize how often this happens. It has become a pattern with the poster in question. Please don't assume that no one has told her previously that she could benefit from counseling. She has been given that advice time and time again in a cordial friendly manner. Once she decided to ignore the advice and repeat the pattern people are going to react.

As for not being here for a while, that is true. I recently moved to a new state, and the preparation for that has taken a bit of energy. Also, I only like to comment in threads where I feel that I can be of assistance, that naturally eliminates many topics. However, I have enjoyed my time here, and really miss some of the posters who have passed. This forum is an amazing resource for people like us who have cancer, or are coring for a loved one with it.

Terri

peanut_8 wrote:... there does seems to be a pattern with certain posters that goes beyond a typical cancer rant. After being called out on inappropriate comments, they profess sorrow. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Butt never apologizing to the original person they maligned.

peanat, I read this forum regularly although post rather infrequently.
I found a lot of nice people here and complete absense of typical Internet trolls.
Some people need more support, and I am OK with this.

I do not recall any post when somebody was "maligned".
People provide feedback here, and sometimes people have different opinions.
However I would not characterise such discussions as "maligning".

Although vilca11 has some valid points, her concerns are overblown.
Let's accept people "as is" without imposing our particular vision of Internet etiquette on them.