The Colon Club

BAD NEWS: 4WD slides off car ferry on way to Fraser Island because gear was left
in neutral with parking brake engaged.

GOOD NEWS: It's a rental.

BAD NEWS: It's not a lime-green Monaro


read the full catastrophe at
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-31/4 ... nd/8155676

Saw this posted on FB, by one of my very good Colon Talk friends



Thanks, Mr. Case

Thx for the laugh peanut. You too, Mr. Case

Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."


A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"


Bloke from Barnsley with a sore bum asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"

Maggie Nell is to be commended for commencing a thread for "some laughs" and humor and levity.

I think it is wise to have a designated thread for humor and light-hearted comedy and joking. Anyone reading who clicks on this thread has full knowledge that what is posted is done so with the intent of lightening of mood and expression.

Not everyone interprets humor in the same way. What is funny or humorous to one person, may be interpreted differently by another. There is always concern that well-intended humor can be misconstrued, especially in a written medium such as this forum where there is no body language or verbal clarification to clear-up a possible misunderstanding.

Everyone who visits this forum is hurting, to one degree or another. Whether the person is a person with cancer, a caregiver, a friend, or supportive other. Emotions will run high. Sensitivities will be heightened.

Maggie's thread gives a safe harbor for the expression of humor. And gives everyone who clicks on this designated thread opportunity for a moment of diversion - and a laugh and a smile for the day.

Thanks, Maggie.
- Karen -

Maggie Doll , would that be our national drink your having a wee laugh at!!!!
Not gone unnoticed

I am not sure if you have had the pleasure of drinking it. Spill it on your carpet and you will need to get a new one. Permanent stain. Orange intestines are a big hit in Scotland.
Stu

Thankee Moss Milly. However, I have only continued an old theme in a new thread, and the
inspiration and motherthread of 58 pages belongs to Delinda, started Sept 2014.

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=47915

But wait - even further back to 2010, there was Your Daily Chuckle started by
cptmac who wrote, [i] A while back, this board agreed it was okay to post non CC talk.
I really like the inspiration sayings and songs post.

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=15086


My sense of humour, which is baseline Mancunian/Scots/Aussie and informed by
my upbringing in a multicultural society.......and while I'm here, I'd like to apologize for the
practical jokes my uncles played on American GIs in 1942 (who didn't have much of a sense of humour
when it came to Vegemite and scrub pythons).

There is also a designated prayer thread for those who want to pray for better jokes....
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=11381

* * * *

Stu, I had never heard of Irn Bru! Perhaps it doesn't pass muster with our
Therapeutic Goods Act. You'll have to send me a can hidden in a haggis!

My goodness, and if it's the equivalent of Coca Cola, how come you lot haven't gotten with the program and
invented a tartan Santa to flog the stuff globally? Now there's a corporate
takeover for world domination going begging.......

Orange intestines!! oh dear....nurse..

I just bought a thesaurus at the store, and brought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors?


Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

GGGGGRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn.....

Gift ideas for Valentine's Day (which is just around the corner)....






Giant Microbes are 120 - 250mm plush toys that look like bacteria, viruses, body
cells, prion and mini-beasts. Each one comes with an image from under a microscope...

http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/main/diseases

Patients playing cards, 16th Australian General Hospital, Mont Park ca 1918 (Alice E. Broadhurst Collection, Yarra Plenty Regional Library)


Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people.
Unlike most of the party games you've played before,
Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends


Suggest a bad idea for a card.