We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

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Maggie Nell
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby Maggie Nell » Wed Apr 12, 2017 9:04 am

Image
DX April 2015, @ 54
35mm poorly diff. tumour found upon emergency r. hemicolectomy
for ileo-colic intussusception.
Lymph nodes: 0/22
T3 N0 MX
deranged LFTs April 2017

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Maggie Nell
Posts: 586
Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 1:57 am
Facebook Username: maggie nell
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby Maggie Nell » Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:34 am

Image


.....an Aussie cure for changed bowel habits and looseness of stools.
DX April 2015, @ 54
35mm poorly diff. tumour found upon emergency r. hemicolectomy
for ileo-colic intussusception.
Lymph nodes: 0/22
T3 N0 MX
deranged LFTs April 2017

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Maggie Nell
Posts: 586
Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 1:57 am
Facebook Username: maggie nell
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby Maggie Nell » Sat Apr 29, 2017 3:09 pm

Cancer’s a Funny Thing


I wish I had the voice of Homer
To sing of rectal carcinoma,
Which kills a lot more chaps, in fact,
Than were bumped off when Troy was sacked.

Yet, thanks to modern surgeon’s skills,
It can be killed before it kills
Upon a scientific basis
In nineteen out of twenty cases.

I noticed I was passing blood
(Only a few drops, not a flood).
So pausing on my homeward way
From Tallahassee to Bombay
I asked a doctor, now my friend,
To peer into my hinder end,
To prove or to disprove the rumour
That I had a malignant tumour.

They pumped in BaS04.
Till I could really stand no more,
And, when sufficient had been pressed in,
They photographed my large intestine,
In order to decide the issue

They next scraped out some bits of tissue.
(Before they did so, some good pal
Had knocked me out with pentothal,
Whose action is extremely quick,
And does not leave me feeling sick.)

The microscope returned the answer
That I had certainly got cancer,
So I was wheeled into the theatre
Where holes were made to make me better.

One set is in my perineum
Where I can feel, but can’t yet see ‘em.
Another made me like a kipper
Or female prey of Jack the Ripper,
Through this incision, I don’t doubt,
The neoplasm was taken out,
Along with colon, and lymph nodes
Where cancer cells might find abodes.

A third much smaller hole is meant
To function as a ventral vent:
So now I am like two-faced Janus
The only* god who sees his anus.


*In India there are several more
With extra faces, up to four,
But both in Brahma and in Shiva
I own myself an unbeliever.


I'll swear, without the risk of perjury,
It was a snappy bit of surgery.
My rectum is a serious loss to me,
But I’ve a very neat colostomy,
And hope, as soon as I am able,
To make it keep a fixed time-table.

So do not wait for aches and pains
To have a surgeon mend your drains;
If he says “cancer” you’re a dunce
Unless you have it out at once,
For if you wait it’s sure to swell,
And may have progeny as well.

My final word, before I’m done,
Is “Cancer can be rather fun”.

Thanks to the nurses and Nye Bevan
The NHS is quite like heaven
Provided one confronts the tumour
With a sufficient sense of humour.

I know that cancer often kills,
But so do cars and sleeping pills;
And it can hurt one till one sweats,
So can bad teeth and unpaid debts.

A spot of laughter, I am sure,
Often accelerates one’s cure;
So let us patients do our bit
To help the surgeons make us fit.

J. B. S. Haldane (1964)


John Burdon Sanderson Haldane FRS (5 November 1892 – 1 December 1964) was a British-born Indian scientist. He is famous for the (possibly apocryphal) response that he gave when some theologians asked him what could be inferred about the mind of the Creator from the works of His Creation: "An inordinate fondness for beetles."
DX April 2015, @ 54
35mm poorly diff. tumour found upon emergency r. hemicolectomy
for ileo-colic intussusception.
Lymph nodes: 0/22
T3 N0 MX
deranged LFTs April 2017

Utwo
Posts: 114
Joined: Mon May 23, 2016 10:14 am
Location: T.O.

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby Utwo » Sun Apr 30, 2017 3:54 pm

58 yo male at diagnosis - T1bN0, 0/15 lymph nodes, low grade/moderately differentiated adenocarcinoma
03/2016 colonoscopy #1: 2 small polyps removed in left colon; CEA = 1.3
04/2016 colonoscopy #2: caecum sessile 3.5 cm polyp piecemeal removed
05/2016 CT scan, blood test ...
05/2016 laparoscopic right hemicolectomy with a few complications (bleeding, leak, infection)
06/2017 CT scan, colonoscopy OK; CEA = 1.6

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peanut_8
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Location: Capital of Texas

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby peanut_8 » Thu May 04, 2017 4:55 pm

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, “Kin ya swallar?”

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, “Kin ya breathe?”

The woman, beginning to turn blue, shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that her entire body reacts and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, “Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seen nobody do it!”

source
Mr. Case
Terri aka peanut
diagnosed Jan 14, RC stage 2a, age 56
permanent colostomy
MSS
April 14, 28 chemo/rad with Xeloda
June 14 adjuvant Xeloda 6 rounds
currently NED

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CRguy
Posts: 9083
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby CRguy » Thu May 04, 2017 9:51 pm

oh shit ..... I hear Dueling Banjos :shock:
:mrgreen:
Caregiver x 3
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
10 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing NONrandomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

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peanut_8
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Joined: Sun May 25, 2014 1:31 pm
Location: Capital of Texas

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby peanut_8 » Fri May 05, 2017 9:21 am

Image
Terri aka peanut
diagnosed Jan 14, RC stage 2a, age 56
permanent colostomy
MSS
April 14, 28 chemo/rad with Xeloda
June 14 adjuvant Xeloda 6 rounds
currently NED

justin case
Posts: 4145
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby justin case » Fri May 05, 2017 4:52 pm

peanut_8 wrote:Image

No drums required , CR, besides your getting a snarky attitude .... Ha!
Bro Nut
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

AbbyDoo
Posts: 103
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2016 2:25 am
Location: So.Ca.

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby AbbyDoo » Fri May 05, 2017 8:53 pm

Sinko de Mayo is truly a day to celebrate.
Few people have come to know the “true” story of the origin of Sinko de Mayo. It is my pleasure to set the record straight.
A little known fact is that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.
The ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5 and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
Go out on this day, grab a couple of slices of Wonderbread and a jar of Hellman’s mayonnaise and have a party. You know I will
53 yrs old
4/30/15 colonoscopy Mass found
5/21/15 staged 3 C rectal cancer
7/3/15 finished xeloda and radiation 28 rounds
9/30/15 LAR
10/29/15 picc line installed
11/2/15 start chemo 5 fu Oxaliplatin
3/7/16 Finish Chemo
4/29/16 Ileostomy Reversal.
7/13/16 colonoscopy clear.
CRC survivors know there Sh%t

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Maggie Nell
Posts: 586
Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 1:57 am
Facebook Username: maggie nell
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby Maggie Nell » Sat May 06, 2017 3:36 am

Image

Meanwhile, down in the boonies, a mobile colonoscopy service has been established....



May 9th is Lost Sock Memorial Day...
DX April 2015, @ 54
35mm poorly diff. tumour found upon emergency r. hemicolectomy
for ileo-colic intussusception.
Lymph nodes: 0/22
T3 N0 MX
deranged LFTs April 2017

User avatar
CRguy
Posts: 9083
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby CRguy » Sat May 06, 2017 10:50 am

AND Ben's partner is .... wait for it ....
..... Phil McCavity :shock:

justin case
Posts: 4145
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby justin case » Sat May 06, 2017 12:30 pm

AbbyDoo wrote:Sinko de Mayo is truly a day to celebrate.
Few people have come to know the “true” story of the origin of Sinko de Mayo. It is my pleasure to set the record straight.
A little known fact is that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.
The ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5 and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
Go out on this day, grab a couple of slices of Wonderbread and a jar of Hellman’s mayonnaise and have a party. You know I will

With all due respect for your candor, in 1862, Mexico, garnered a victory over French invasion, in Pueblo. The victory inspired the American army to defeat the Confederate army, and America is the birth of Cinco De Mayo, not Mexico. Cinco de Mayo is not a Mexican Holiday....
8) 8) 8) 8)
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

User avatar
peanut_8
Posts: 2077
Joined: Sun May 25, 2014 1:31 pm
Location: Capital of Texas

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby peanut_8 » Sat May 06, 2017 4:53 pm

Image
Terri aka peanut
diagnosed Jan 14, RC stage 2a, age 56
permanent colostomy
MSS
April 14, 28 chemo/rad with Xeloda
June 14 adjuvant Xeloda 6 rounds
currently NED

justin case
Posts: 4145
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby justin case » Sat May 06, 2017 8:37 pm

peanut_8 wrote:Image

When talking about liquor, mine's called Anejo, and I like it, if it's rum , or tequila, as long as it is of quality. otherwise, I drink cheap beer, as Tanqueray, or Beefeaters, is no longer on the menu, since I turned 40... 21 years ago !
:?
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

Lee
Posts: 4916
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: We Need Some Laughs Here Reloaded for 2017

Postby Lee » Sat May 06, 2017 10:27 pm

What can I say, I'm a cheap Merlot drinker. Have a few glasses each evening. Had to give up margaritas years ago. Butt when I could drink them, they were so GOOD.

Miss em.

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!


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