All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

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cptango
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2016 5:54 pm

All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby cptango » Wed Dec 21, 2016 7:04 pm

I am sorry I was just feeling a little bit emotional and wrote this long old post that didn't really serve any purpose. I decided to delete said post.

I am however wishing the best for anyone that has to deal with this horrible affliction this holiday season either directly or with a loved one. I hope that you gain all the strength that you may need in your particular situation.

Best Wishes

User avatar
CRguy
Posts: 10476
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby CRguy » Wed Dec 21, 2016 11:51 pm

Thank you for your kind wishes to the rest of us ... BUTT ...
just so you know we also send the same back to you
and if you need to rant, vent, spew :shock:

WE KNOW ...
sometimes we gotta' rant vent spew cry laugh hurt heal hide love
and just BE

You BE ... one of us

In Harmony with you on the Journey
CRguy
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
17 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

MDK
Posts: 46
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2015 1:43 pm

Re: All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby MDK » Thu Dec 22, 2016 8:31 am

Yes, yes - a year in and this been the worst year of my life. I am still alive, my body has been altered in ways I can't believe.

I try to be positive and move forward. Not so much right now.

Peace for all of us is my wish.

Marianne
Diagnosed 11/9/2015
Stage III Rectal Cancer
Began Chemoradiation 01/04/2016
Completed Chemoradiation 2/17/16
Local Excision
Developed Rectovaginal Fistula
06/24/16 APR / Flap Repair Fistula
Permanent Colostomy
09/20/2016 Liver Mets, possible Lung Mets
9/16 - 11/17 Xeloda and Avastin to progression
12/17 - 01/18 Folfox 6 sessions liver tumor shrank considerably - severe allergic reaction
01/18 - 04/18 Xeloda and Avastin - Progression
06/18 Avastin and Irinotecan

Philippians 4:6-7

Nik Colon

Re: All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby Nik Colon » Fri Dec 23, 2016 1:54 am

Vent away! I am not in the best place myself right now so I know we need to let it out sometimes.
Hugs,
Nik

Pita
Posts: 637
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2016 3:48 pm
Location: So Calif

Re: All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby Pita » Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:48 am

cptango I read your original post, I lurk a lot without signing in, think I was the first one to view it and there were no responses yet.

I remember that it was a really heavy post divided into 2 parts and I wanted to come back later, reread it and think about it before possibly responding. In my chemo fog I can't really really remember all of it, but sure wished you hadn't deleted it, it covered many things that I feel but have never discussed with others.
If you want to rewrite here please do, it's ok to rant and get it off your chest and I also think others might be interested in discussing it. You can always send me a pm.

Best wishes to you and hope you get some answers and peace from what you were venting about. oxo Tuna or chicken casserole? :)
70yo Fem DX: 1/21/2016 RC Stage IV-Nodules lungs
MSS-Kras Wild-Lynch Synd Neg-Lung Biopsy 1/27/16-Port 2/19/16
MRI 7/7/16 Endometrial polyp found, watching LAR 7/19/16, No Ileostomy, Stage ypT3 N1
CT 11/7/16: Most mets stable,1 shrunk,1 new??
CEA Tests: 1/21/16=20, 12/22/16=5.3, 1/20/17=4.8, 2/15/17=6.2
9/20/16-1/24/17 Folfuri & Avastin
#10/10 Done
PET/CT 2/10/16-1/31/17=Some shrunk & growth to 2, Avastin failing ??? :evil:
2/21/17 Folfuri & Avastin

plastikos
Posts: 351
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 6:09 am

Re: All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby plastikos » Fri Dec 23, 2016 4:55 am

If there's any place where you won't receive judgement it's here. We have all been there. Some of us still are.
St. IV Colon CA @ 37, male, Kras wild, MSI-high (2014)
11/2014 Right Hemicolectomy + Liver Resection
12/2014 - 6/2015 FOLFOX + Cetuximab
10/2015 - Recurrence liver
Liver resection 10/2015
FOLFIRI 11/2015 - 5/2016
Recurrence liver, nodes 11/2016
Pembrolizumab started 12/2016 -> pseudoprogression(?) -> biliary obstruction -> biliary stenting
Chemo 4x: most mets inactive and smaller on PET-CT
March 2017 - Back on Pembrolizumab again
Sept 2017 - SIRT - > NED
2019 NED

BUD2016
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2016 3:25 pm

Re: All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby BUD2016 » Fri Dec 23, 2016 12:32 pm

I have not read the post, but I think we are blessed to have this forum, since many of us feel surreal and with mixed emotions. It is a gift that there is a place here where judgement will not be received.
09/2016: Mom dx/rectal cancer
10/2016: Open surgery. T3N0/Grade 2
11/2016: PET/CT scan shows 5 liver mets in both lobes
11/2016: FOLFOX + Avastin started on her 71st birthday
KRAS gen 2 G13D mutant, BRAF Negative, MSS
03/2017: Oxi stopped after 9th tx, 5FU cntd. CT scans w/ contrast every 2 months - small shrinkage/stable
05/2017: PET/CT progression, started FOLFIRI + AVASTIN
07/2017: MRIs/CT stable
09/2017: MRIs/CT - min progression
09/2017: FOLFIRI + CYRAMZA
11/2017: left us

DarknessEmbraced
Posts: 3817
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:54 pm
Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: All feels so surreal (mixed emotions)

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:10 pm

Always feel free to vent on here!*hugs*
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17
NED 12/21/18
Clear colonoscopy 09/23/19
Clear 5 year scans 11/21/19- Considered cured! :)


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