Customer and freind committed suicide

[Nickmark59]

Got a call late this evening a customer and freind commited suicide this evening he suffered terribly from several failed back surgerys we often talked about it becuse of all the pain I went thru with stage 4 CRC and injurys I have done to my self including back injury from a car wreck and smashing my heal into 30+ peices which has permanantly crippled me . But I have always been lucky being able to work thru the pain plus be able to work part time and living with cronic arthritic and anal pain with out daily pain medicine like he took. I wish he would have picked up the phone and called me or some one he just went and did it tottaly unexpected. He was only in his late 50's like me and did very well for himself what a dam shame I wish there was some better way to control pain other than medicine and tens etc. so people would not concider suicide . I am so blessed to have such a strong mind and will wish there was a way I could pass it on to others who have lost all hope.

[Nik Colon]

I'm so sorry. I know the pain. My brother committed suicide in 2012 (age 45) shortly after me and our parents left his house. He had alot of issues, health and relationship. I knew something was off, wanted to stay, but I couldn't, long story (I was not driving, plus he said he had to get back to wk). but never expected a phone call shortly after I got home from his son. Sadly, when someone is in that place, there is usually not much anyone can do.

Most likely those thoughts were there for a long time, it usually doesn't just happen. You go thru the thoughts over and over until something says, I'm done. Sadly, most people who follow through, the ones around them never see it coming, or the signs are there, but so subtle people don't notice. I know that place, luckily, I pulled thru it, but it still lingers. My mind is just now more awake to the effects it has on others.

And anyone who thinks it's selfish, yes it is, but they don't know how dark that place can be. You truly believe you, and others will be better off without you, sadly. And yes, the pain you are in, weather mental or physical is torture.

ETA: I guess what I'm trying to say...I get the what if, if only, etc, anything you can think of. I have been there and done that, still do at times. Those questions will always be there. Gets less over time, but never truly goes away. Although we know we can't change it.

[jhocno197]

I'm so sorry.

[Pita]

Sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and prayers for your friend... oxo

[teri3]

Such sad news it's hard to lose someone this way. Prayers for you
Hugs,
Teri

[MissMolly]

I am living with unrelenting and poorly controlled pain. Pain that occupies every fiber of my being. I can understand where your friend was in his thinking. When my pain is at its most severe, I will do ANYTHING to get an ounce of relief.

It was not that your friend's mind was not strong enough. Pain that is sever, ongoing, and unescapable is an experience that no one should judge.

With the recent announcement of the "National Pain Strategy" by the DEA and NIH in April-2016, more and more pain chronic patients are being denied adequate pain control. I wonder if your friend was faced with a reduction in his prescribed narcotics. Some chronic pain patients, faced with drastic reductions in pain medication will - unfortunately - take their own lives. It is genuinely heart-rendering.

If you think that you will receive full pain control if and when you experience unrelenting pain, think again. The government has established firm prescription guidelines of schedule II narcotics. I am suffering, and will continue to suffer, because of it.

May God/Higher Power be gracious in receiving your friend's soul,
- Karen -

[Nickmark59]

I know the pain I went thru and survived CRC and have experinced the pain you describe I was lucky and it ceased after few weeks to live with it and then have pain medicine reduced has got to be dreadful

[DarknessEmbraced]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.*hugs* My deepest condolences.

[rp1954]

I am not sure which kinds of cases will benefit, but many times high dose IV vitamin C (e.g. 1000-1500 mg or 1 to 1.5 grams vitamin C per kg of person) will get 1-3 days of near instant pain relief from dreadful cancer pains or inflammations. In the cases of persistent inflammation, especially those with a viral component, histamine producing allergies, or straight inflammation, IV vitamin C may knock it out totally. I've seen a person do better in minutes and hours after a year of debilitating eye orbit pain than they did with a month of prednisone (oral and IV) and methotrexate. The thing about long term IV vitamin C situations is cost and veins, otherwise it may be a temporary fix. It is possible to run IV vitamin C for years, 1-3 per week.

[MikeManess]

About 15 years ago I had massive sinus pain from chronic sinusitis. I could only sleep for a short time while sitting in a chair. The pain was far worse when lying down. The pain was 24/7 for about 3 months. I realized then why people suicide when they have severe pain. I would have done almost anything to relieve the pain.

Some people can handle pain better than others. My late wife was in extreme pain from late stage ovarian cancer, but chose to only take a single ibuprofen tablet to knock the edge off a bit. When she went into hospice they knocked her out with pain meds. She died two days later. Her hospice doctor told me that the only reason she was alive was because of the pain she had. Once the pain was gone, she relaxed enough to pass on.

Very sorry for your loss. Take some comfort that he is now pain free.

[Nik Colon]

I am living with unrelenting and poorly controlled pain. Pain that occupies every fiber of my being. I can understand where your friend was in his thinking. When my pain is at its most severe, I will do ANYTHING to get an ounce of relief.

It was not that your friend's mind was not strong enough. Pain that is sever, ongoing, and unescapable is an experience that no one should judge.

With the recent announcement of the "National Pain Strategy" by the DEA and NIH in April-2016, more and more pain chronic patients are being denied adequate pain control. I wonder if your friend was faced with a reduction in his prescribed narcotics. Some chronic pain patients, faced with drastic reductions in pain medication will - unfortunately - take their own lives. It is genuinely heart-rendering.

If you think that you will receive full pain control if and when you experience unrelenting pain, think again. The government has established firm prescription guidelines of schedule II narcotics. I am suffering, and will continue to suffer, because of it.

May God/Higher Power be gracious in receiving your friend's soul,
- Karen -

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going thru. Have you tried seeing other docs? When I was at my original place for cancer, the docs (including palliative, we're alot more strict. One time after surgery and starting new chemo, I was in horrible pain, was told to take Tylenol, um...no. first, I'm sensitive to it and it didn't do crap. Seen my palliative Dr again, didn't want to give me pain meds, I was like WTF! Anyway, later I switched to a place closers for my chemo,etc after I found out there was one by me I didn't know about. My new palliative Dr was awesome. No questions, no judgement, etc. So, I guess what I'm saying is, not everyone will be as strict. Some follow more strict guidelines (I get it, but studies show those who truly need it are not the ones who abuse it). I would hope you can find someone who is understanding and KNOWS this! Hugs and best wishes.
ETA:
I am currently off pain meds too at my request. Yes, I still have issues now and then, but I get by. If I need them later, they can look and see and not assume (as most seem to now) that I'm not a frickin addict which is how I feel many look at people. It's so frustrating to see them treat everyone as such! Grrrr! I have seen the abuse from addicts and it's them who fucked it up for people who need it! (Sadly, some people close to me)

[Maggie Nell]

It is sad that we dwell in a culture where suicide is usually perceived as a weakness,
as giving up. In my country, there is an important dialogue going on concerning
Voluntary Assisted Dying.

If you google Better Off Dead you will find podcasts and other media.

Those of us with cancer expect that when our end-time comes, we will be safe
in a palliative care situation, supported by family and friends, and to meet a
socially approved death. No ropes, no stepping in front of a speeding train,
no isolated swallowing of pills in a darkened room.

That is my grief for the suicide-dead. They become a Coroner's Inquest and
I have prepared so many of those reports.

When someone is suffering. How can we ask them to suffer more? - Andrew Denton

http://www.wheelercentre.com/notes/an-a ... nt-in-full

[MissMolly]

Thanks, Nik, for your compassion.

I was having a difficult pain day when NickMark authored this thread and I displaced my frustration here.

Pain has a life all its own. Pain is not an even experience but rather one with harsh upward spikes in intensity that can be beyond description.

Prescribing for pain control is challenging due to the undulating nature of the pain experience. How to dose a person'd baseline level of pain? How to dose for extreme episodes of breakthrough pain? How to dose month-to-month for an underlying condition that worsens over time.

I do not find fault with my hospice/palliative care. I am given a generous "cocktail" of fentanyl and dilaudid - 220 mg morphine equivalent per day. I guarantee you that I feel no "high" nor euphoria. There is no elevated pleasure in taking the dosing that I do. At best, I get a quieting of constant, severe pain so that I can feel a modicum of normal for 2-3 hours.

But my platinum level health care plan will only reimburse for narcotics at the generic guidelines established by the "National Pain Strategy report issued by the DEA and CDC in April 2016 (90 mg morphine equivalent). I have to private pay for dosing above this. Prescriptions must be written and signed by the prescribing MD for no more than 30 days of dosing. Phone-in prescriptions and refills are no longer permitted. All narcotic prescriptions must be written on fraud/tamper-proof paper and signed by the prescribing MD. Someone in my family drives me to every month to pick up the new prescriptions. Energy and stamina that those with serious illness have little of.

The recent regulatory restrictions on narcotics/opiates have made accessing pain-relieving medications infinitely more difficult for people who are genuinely hurting and suffering. The easing of pain in the face of serious, life-threating illness or injury should be provided without undo regulatory effect to those who are suffering.

Anyway, Niki, thank you for your compassion and understanding.
- Karen -