Screw not drinking or smoking! If I'm gonna die I'm gonna die happy. I lived almost all my life unhappy even before cancer! Clinical depression (bpd?) Losing those closest to me, etc. If you disagree, I really don't care, sorry. I stayed alive this long just for everyone else. Not saying I'm giving up, just not ready to give up other things too.
I straight out asked my mom after my brother committed suicide in 2012...I bet you thought it would be me, not him, she said yes. But here I am still.
Now she has to deal with this crap! Seriously! It should have been me, then maybe he wouldn't have and my parents wouldn't have to deal with this! But then again, my daughter and hub. Ugh, not fair no matter how I think of it.