Hello,
When I was first diagnosed, my husband and I were allowed the opportunity to freeze embryos before I started treatment. We don't have children but both want a family. Four months ago a friend offered to be our surrogate. This is an incredible offer from a great friend and her husband. We didn't ask, they just offered!
I am currently NED and my oncologist has said that based on my response to treatments she expects me to continue to do well. She does not want me to try and carry a child myself because of the risk that the cancer will return while pregnant. I do know the average life-expectancy associated with stage iv colon cancer and I am all too aware of the reality. We can't help but consider both the negatives and the positives of the situation. I have spoken with my oncologist and my therapist who runs the young adult program and has been through this with patients before.
This is an incredibly difficult and emotional decision and so, we are looking for real life experiences with the hope of either connecting with the couple or even just reading about their experience. My therapist has reached out to one such couple, where the wife is the one with cancer, but they haven't responded yet (busy with their new baby, probably).
If you have added a child to your family after a stage iv diagnosis (either naturally or via surrogacy or adoption), know anyone who has, or have come across an article or blog that addresses such a decision, I would be grateful to hear from you. And while I do very much appreciate the candor and input from this board, I ask that you please don't respond to tell me why this could be a bad idea. We are going about this decision as responsibly and thoroughly as we can and, as I mentioned, I am all too aware of reality but I think it is also healthy to have hope, especially considering the new treatments in trial. We have already been seriously considering this offer for four months and would like to decide in the next two months or so because if it is going to happen then we want to put those wheels in motion and if it is not going to happen then we need to mourn the loss and move on.
Thank you!
Kara