Question...Cancer and privacy vs openness

[AnnClare]

ABMom - I totally understand your reluctance to say where in your body. When I told a good friend recently, she asked where and I told her, prefacing it with, "The most un-sexy, un-glamourous of cancers," in an attempt to lighten the tone. But I agree - it's embarrassing to say, "My ass."

[ABMom]

ABMom - I totally understand your reluctance to say where in your body. When I told a good friend recently, she asked where and I told her, prefacing it with, "The most un-sexy, un-glamourous of cancers," in an attempt to lighten the tone. But I agree - it's embarrassing to say, "My ass."

I can't tell you how much better that makes me feel! Even when I've told people, I've told them colorectal cancer because rectal cancer just seems a bit TMI to me.

[Nik Colon]

Ass Cancer...Ask/Answer

[BeansMama]

ABMom - I totally understand your reluctance to say where in your body. When I told a good friend recently, she asked where and I told her, prefacing it with, "The most un-sexy, un-glamourous of cancers," in an attempt to lighten the tone. But I agree - it's embarrassing to say, "My ass."

I can't tell you how much better that makes me feel! Even when I've told people, I've told them colorectal cancer because rectal cancer just seems a bit TMI to me.

You definitely are not alone in the embarrassment of it. I generally just say colon because it implies belly rather than backside. I frequently say to my husband of all the cancers I could have ended up with I get butt cancer... I am incredibly self conscious in person so talking about it can be difficult for me with people I don't know very well.

[kellywin]

I am very open about it. Originally, I didn't tell anyone outside of my family and a couple of friends. I didn't tell people at work (outside of my boss and a friend) until I was finished with radiation. And I can't even describe the shock, no one knew.

Now, one of the main reasons I am open about it is because of awareness. I want people to understand it happens to A LOT of young people. I've had 2 people come talk to me about problems they had with bleeding only because they knew my symptoms, and because of that, they went to a doctor.

Another reason is the stigma of being embarrassed to say "rectal cancer" - I only ever hear "colon", people are so afraid of "rectal". Why should I be embarrassed, why should others feel embarrassed. Everyone and their brother talks about boobs. But somehow assess and shit are off limits. I call bullshit on that.

I visit this board because I think if there's something I can do to help out someone else, I want to do it.

[Nik Colon]

Another reason is the stigma of being embarrassed to say "rectal cancer" - I only ever hear "colon", people are so afraid of "rectal". Why should I be embarrassed, why should others feel embarrassed. Everyone and their brother talks about boobs. But somehow assess and shit are off limits. I call bullshit on that.

I completely agree.

[Andrea1976]

I decided to keep quiet for now. My mom knows, my dad died unexpected last year. My husband knows and I explained it to my children. More to focus on their screening than on the Cancer. I told my 2 best friends. 1 listened and was supportive the first few months. Other immefiately became distant. So strange... I never raised it with her again. But I know that I can't count on her. I did step down from an intense volunteer position and my team of parents know the reason. But that's it. I don't like people asking me questions etc.

[NateA]

Open. I want to spread the word about early onset CRC as much as possible. At first I was totally closed up except for my family. I was embarrassed or something. Some things motivated me, got ,everything off my butt, and sounding the alarm. Saving lives one scope at a timeeting

[Lydia666]

I have been open because that was my first instinct- i wanted to tell strangers on the street!!!. Now, a year and a half later and one more cancer later ( breast), I don't feel the same. I hate people's reactions, the stay positive, the oh i am soooo sorry bla bla, none of it is doing me any good. Plus I am sick of cancer myself so I prefer to talk and hear about other stuff.

[recruiter]

I chose to be open, especially on Facebook, for a selfish reason - I didn't want to answer the same question 75 times.

It has had its advantages and its drawbacks. I've been able to reconnect with some wonderful people.

But I've been disappointed by the reaction of others. I've been treated like a leper by some, either for the cancer or the sadness I still feel over the death of my beloved mother in May, the latter I offer no apology to anyone for. Mom was my strength.

And there's been the "Anything I can do for you, just call" crowd. I'd say about 8 out of every 10 of those really mean, "But don't call me because I don't really want to help. I just want to offer so I can feel better about myself and get away from you."

Cynical, I know, but it's reality.

[Nik Colon]

I chose to be open, especially on Facebook, for a selfish reason - I didn't want to answer the same question 75 times.

It has had its advantages and its drawbacks. I've been able to reconnect with some wonderful people.

But I've been disappointed by the reaction of others. I've been treated like a leper by some, either for the cancer or the sadness I still feel over the death of my beloved mother in May, the latter I offer no apology to anyone for. Mom was my strength.

And there's been the "Anything I can do for you, just call" crowd. I'd say about 8 out of every 10 of those really mean, "But don't call me because I don't really want to help. I just want to offer so I can feel better about myself and get away from you."

Cynical, I know, but it's reality.

You should never feel sorry for grieving, no matter how long. So sorry.

And the "anything I can do" thing, yeah, how true!

[Nik Colon]

Thank you to everyone for your repiles

[horizon]

I'm still pretty new to this game but, right now, I'm keeping things quiet unless someone asks. I've told direct family (parents, siblings and in-laws). I stepped down from a few volunteer positions some of them know I have cancer but not where. Some I just told I was sick and would need to focus on my health for a while. If someone has asked (and very few have asked), I've told them but I'm still at the embarrassed part. I'm not sure if that's something I'll ever get past.

My "favorite" part about telling people is the inevitable "How did realize you might have cancer?" question. Then I'm discussing my poop with people.

[Pat]

I am open about my cancer, mostly because I talk a lot naturally.
In the beginning I tried to keep my health issue to myself but as time/treatment went on I felt it better to tell people...to explain my hair loss, wearing gloves in the summer, and avoidance of close contact (due to extreme low blood counts), etc. I gained so much from letting people into my world. Strangers became friends, they are helpful and ask for updates on my condition. I also found others that have or had cancer and now we are buddies.

I live in a Senior community and at 58 considered a young'n. Nothing takes the bite out of cancer than having many neighbors that have gone through cancer treatments 15 and 20 years ago, and are still going strong. It looks like I may have more time to cross items off my bucket list than I initially thought.

[helen098]

At first I didn't tell many people
But about half way through chemo
I was just so sick I didn't give a dam
I used to be a very private person
I have found it very freeing
In the beginning I would talk to anyone about cancer
Now 10 year plus after my diagnosis
I am I little more selective
Though if I am having a Mamo or a dentist appointment and the conversation
Is going that way I have no problem
Telling complete strangers my story
And asking why they won't go for a colonoscopy
And debunking all of the myths
I have gotten many people to go and as some
Had polyps I may have saved some lives or at least avoided some need needless suffering
It feels good


I think most people get over the embarrassment
Eventually
I mean it's hard to take life seriously when you're pooping in the street