Little delay in treatment = disappointed

[Noon32316]

Hi everyone,
I’ve completed 7 of 12 treatments of Folfox. Ended up in the ER on Aug 22 for fever, low WBC, dehydration, and bunch of other stuff. They kept me in the hospital for a few days. The gastroenterologist ordered a barium enema test (results good, no stricture, no obstruction, no tumors) and shouted to the whole 5th floor: You’re ok!! But you have so much poop stuck in there!!!! We gotta flush you out!!!! (Thanks Sherlock, that’s why I’m so traumatized about bathroom issues.)
I was hoping my counts would be good enough for chemo 8 this past Monday but sadly no. I was also hoping for no delays because I don’t want to prolong this process. This little hiccup in my plan to be done by the end of October has me disappointed and just down really. The nurse just told me to rest and relax this week, which I cannot do because my emotions are getting the better of me. I keep wondering if I did something wrong or didn’t do something I was supposed to do. Damn cancer messing with my whole being. I don’t know what I’m doing and feeling so lost and confused. Thanks for listening. Best to all.

[Nik Colon]

It happens to many of us. Nothing you can do. I had it happen once and know how you feel.

[Rstarrg]

The missing a treatment because of blood levels Happened to me too. I had also planned to be done by a certain date. It didn't work out. The c really controls every aspect for so long. I did get thru and now have 3 months of "free time". You hang in there. You've come a long way.

All my best to you

[Pita]

Hi Noon,
Sometimes I'll go 3-4 days without a bm, full of sheeet I am. I've started to not let myself get backed up and try and go at least every 2-3 days. This works for me, I take a pill called ColRite to help soften stools and 1/2 the amount recommended of Miralax. Water is not one of my favorites and I had an IV for dehydration 3 days after chemo last week, now I'm drinking so much I feel like I'm floating. I buy a box of individual packets of pedialyte and put in 1/3 packet to each 12 ounces I drink. Water is so important to your digestive system!
I've had a problem with WBC, RBC and platelets since radiation ended in May, have also had a few shots of Neupragen.

IMO, cancer came unexpectedly and with such strong chemicals being put into our bodies I really don't see how you can stick to such a strict timetable. I thought I'd be done by the end of the year but that's not realistic so I've changed it to middle of 2017 and I'll keep moving it along if that's what's needed to be NED.
Being stressed is toxic to your body and can also have an indirect effect on your immune system=white blood cells. Try and relax, nothing tragic is going to happen if you miss a few chemos. Try some yoga, some meditation, soothing music, happy hobbies and rest and try get the cells back up or you could land in the hospital again. Try and eat lots of protein daily, chicken, fish and turkey, chew good and drink lots of water.
Best wishes, prayers to you Noon... ox

[nomoretacos]

hey mate I understand your disappointment with the delays. I had the same with my 8th cycle, it was delayed by two weeks as one week wasnt enough to get it up. It went from 0.8 (so delay one week) to 0.7 (ok delay another week) to 4 (yay finally can proceed). It was extremely frustrating and an emotional rollercoaster, I felt like I needed the treatment asap to kill the cancer cells otherwise they would grow more, plus I wanted to power through the 12 cycles and finish. At the end of the day I just had to trust my doctor and believe them when they said there was no difference in waiting vs getting injections. Try to enjoy the time off and re-energise. Goodluck

[Soccermom2boys]

Oh, I can so empathize! Even though going in to it you know that you should not get your heart stuck to a particular end-date because things happen on chemo, but how can you not have that end-date etched in your mind as you sit through each round?! I too got sidetracked with an extra two weeks off (very painful case of enteritis that sent me to ER and a two night stay at the hospital) in between rounds four and five. I felt totally fine the night before, never saw it coming, but when I woke up the next day and walked from bed to bathroom I started to feel crampy and it only got worse from there. Like you I also kept trying to figure out what I did wrong and would get paranoid that it would happen again out of the blue like that (thankfully it did not). Oh the head games cancer and chemo play on you! I hated those damn treatments for how shitty they made me feel and yet the moment I was given the two week reprieve I was upset to not be on track getting one because I wanted them over with--made me feel so looney with the mixed emotions. So sorry you have to go through the utter agony and disappointment of getting derailed from your treatment schedule, I can honestly say I feel your pain. However, I did enjoy the two extra weeks to eat ice cream and suck down cold water with no cold sensitivity issues and have a little more time to feel better physically before I went back to the chemo beat-down so think of that as well. Hopefully you are just on a two week reprieve and can get back on schedule after that to finish out the remainder. Will be thinking of you and hoping for the best!

[AnnClare]

Sorry your next treatment will be delayed. I definitely echo the sentiments that others have expressed - you want this BS to move along so you can be done with it and get on with life.

I had a delay after round 2 when I had a kidney infection with high fever that landed me in the hospital for 2 days. Tx 3 was pushed back - so frustrating, but what can you do?
It sounds trite, but try not to stress. Take deep breaths throughout the day and if you have some quiet time, try to sit calmly & meditate. (I'm not so good at that myself, but I try every day.) One thing I tell myself when things aren't going my way is "Everything as it should be." I guess it's just rephrasing the old, tired "everything happens for a reason." When things are out of your control, try to remain calm (easier said than done sometimes -believe me, I know!) You don't need any extra stress or worry on your plate right now. This little hiccup is annoying, but you'll get through it. One day your Tx will end - this is just a minor blip on the screen.
*hugs*
I know this process sucks. We all hate it and wish there were a better way.
Hang in there - you can do this!!!

[Noon32316]

Thank you all for helping me through the doom and gloom!! Big hugs to you! I'm clear for chemo #8 next week. Never thought I'd be happy about getting chemo treatment...
Now it's on to anticipatory nausea.

[Nik Colon]

I just want to give you a heads up. Missing a tx sux, but just be prepared for when it's over. I remember hearing of the "scanxiety" after and thinking "hell, people complain about scans when we are going thru the damn chemo!" Scanxiety is very real and for me personally, more mentally scary and exhausting, still is. No, I don't EVER want to do chemo again, that's why I guess it's more scary to me personally. I feel done atm. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that the end of chemo is GREAT, but the after can be hell too. I am not trying to put a dimmer on things, just want you to know what feelings you may get once the chemo is done. Not sure if I should say that or not, but wanted you to know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is once chemo is done you feel helpless, like you should be doing something more, it can mess with your mind. Try not to let it.

[AnnClare]

Noon - does your onc have you on any anti-emetics? Mine prescribed a Sancuso patch (applied the night before my infusion day) and also has them give me Emend, Ativan, and Zofran in my pre-med bag before the chemo infusion starts. This combo has been rock-solid for me (knock on wood) at preventing nausea. I also have Zofran and Ativan on hand, should I need them (haven't yet, again, knock on wood.) There have been times post-disconnect that I've not had much of an appetite, but no true nausea.

If you're not on any anti-emetics, you may want to ask your onc about them. Like I've said before, I was NEVER one to seek out Rx, but this process is challenging enough as it is. I'm all for anything that makes it easier.

Glad you're cleared for your next round. Onward & upward!

[Noon32316]

They give me anti-nausea meds before infusion. And I have Zofran at home for nausea. I also take Xanax for anxiety and that sometimes helps with nausea as well. With all that though, I still have this lingering nausea that doesn't quite go away. Before all of this, I wasn't much of a Rx seeker either but my list of Rx and OTC is as long as my list of side effects. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real that this is life for now. It is what it is and I need to accept this temporary state of being.

[Noon32316]

Just as I was about to leave the house for chemo this morning, the nurse called to inform me my meds haven't been delivered so chemo #8 is once again delayed until next week. I'm so upset. It takes a lot of coordinating to prep (mentally and physically) for chemo week and all these delays are too much. Is this the universe's way of telling me I need more time to recover? I'm trying to look at things from a positive perspective but super struggling right now.