So so so angry!!!!!

[MaShawas]

My husbands oncologist just told my husband bluntly that his situation won't get better. The sooner he accepts it the better. He has tube in his nose because his bowel is obstructed. He has rectal cancer stage 4. He said he will still try Chemo but he has less than a month to live. I know that may be true but the way he said it. ... Argggghhhhh, my poor husband was left reeling and I had to comfort him. He is only 37 years old. I am sooo devastated and feel so alone. Why us???? I prayed to God to intervene but the situation is getting worse. What of my 3 beautiful little girls? ??? This is very hard for me to accept.

[Lee]

Not sure where you are butt if at all possible, get a 2nd opinion at a major cancer treatment center ASAP! Not all Dr.(s) have the same skill and knowledge.

Your husband is young, that is in his favor.

All the best,

Lee

P.S. Find a surgeon, a board certified colon rectal surgeon, ASAP. His current Dr is a Onc, not a surgeon. He's practicing medicine in an area that is NOT his expertise.

[mypinkheaven]

:oops: My husbands oncologist just told my husband bluntly that his situation won't get better. The sooner he accepts it the better. He has tube in his nose because his bowel is obstructed. He has rectal cancer stage 4. He said he will still try Chemo but he has less than a month to live. I know that may be true but the way he said it. ... Argggghhhhh, my poor husband was left reeling and I had to comfort him. He is only 37 years old. I am sooo devastated and feel so alone. Why us???? I prayed to God to intervene but the situation is getting worse. What of my 3 beautiful little girls? ??? This is very hard for me to accept.

I saw on Facebook that you are in Johannesburg, So. Africa. Are you at a large hospital? Have you spoken to a surgeon? Can you contact CANSA to get some help?

[midlifemom]

So sorry you were subjected to such an unkind attitude.
Please, try to find another doctor.
Doctors do not have crystal balls, they dont know for sure what the future holds.
Hold your husband and little girls tight. You will provide comfort for each other.

[Marylandmaniac]

:oops: My husbands oncologist just told my husband bluntly that his situation won't get better. The sooner he accepts it the better. He has tube in his nose because his bowel is obstructed. He has rectal cancer stage 4. He said he will still try Chemo but he has less than a month to live. I know that may be true but the way he said it. ... Argggghhhhh, my poor husband was left reeling and I had to comfort him. He is only 37 years old. I am sooo devastated and feel so alone. Why us???? I prayed to God to intervene but the situation is getting worse. What of my 3 beautiful little girls? ??? This is very hard for me to accept.

I will pray for you and your husband. Like others have said get a second opinion asap. I had a TERRIBLE surgeon at first and I left right away. Found a GREAT colorectal surgeon who is so much better plus has a better bed side manner. Who the heck is this Dr to tell your husband that?? He is not God and he does not have a crystal ball. There is a woman on here who was told she had 6 months to live and she said she was determined to live 6 months and day just to spite that doctor, lol Love that Well she just celebrated 12 years NED! Have faith, get second opinion and take care of your babies. Also look to see if any clinical trials are around you that may offer hope.

[aja1121]

Don't give up. Find a surgeon who specializes in colon and rectal surgery. Is this group near you? http://www.dgmc.co.za/highly-specialise ... ectal-unit

[Swirdfish]

Wow I'm so sorry about that news. Like me, to get this news at 37 is devastating and a real slap in the face. So many mix emotions, despair and anger which is normal. I got angry, and my family had to deal with this. Why me, why us, why anyone. Fuck cancer, life is nothing but ups and downs.

Sometimes I feel for some oncologists, would not be an easy job, although they don't have crystal balls, they have the experience and have seen it before. If I was an oncologist I think I would break down a lot through my emotions of seeing people go through all of this. Some of them more then likely switch this function off. Still I'd rather my onc to tell me straight up.

One of my nurses at path taking my weekly blood tests actually broke down and went home for the day after seeing me.

Support each other, keep fighting and most of all have hope.

Get 2nd opinions ASAP and do not take NO for an answer. My wife was great she did alot of leg work, and would not stop until we had the best surgeon and best oncologist.

Don't get angry. But just do the best you can.

Remember Push, and Push some more. Things can happen quite quickly if you get Abit of rage up and don't take NO for an answer.

Focus.

Sorry about the rant but it hits home for all of us here on the forum.wish you all the luck and will think and pray about this post and you both.

[DarknessEmbraced]

How awful you are dealing with this!*hugs* I would find another oncologist if possible!*hugs*

[crc2007]

Dear Gracious,
I am so sorry to hear the bad news for your husband and especially, the way in which it was delivered. Grrrrrrrrr!
As others have said, oncologists, doctors in general do not know everything. I like the post above where the doctors 'gave' 6 months and the person was still going 12 years later. I also agree on a second opinion.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Gracious and husband))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

crc2007

[Pita]

So sorry Gracious, praying you get a second opinion with better news!

[teri3]

Praying for your hubby and you. Plesse get a second opinion. You have every right to be angry at thr way he handled this. HUGS

[ronswife]

:oops: My husbands oncologist just told my husband bluntly that his situation won't get better. The sooner he accepts it the better. He has tube in his nose because his bowel is obstructed. He has rectal cancer stage 4. He said he will still try Chemo but he has less than a month to live. I know that may be true but the way he said it. ... Argggghhhhh, my poor husband was left reeling and I had to comfort him. He is only 37 years old. I am sooo devastated and feel so alone. Why us???? I prayed to God to intervene but the situation is getting worse. What of my 3 beautiful little girls? ??? This is very hard for me to accept.

I will pray for you and your husband. Like others have said get a second opinion asap. I had a TERRIBLE surgeon at first and I left right away. Found a GREAT colorectal surgeon who is so much better plus has a better bed side manner. Who the heck is this Dr to tell your husband that?? He is not God and he does not have a crystal ball. There is a woman on here who was told she had 6 months to live and she said she was determined to live 6 months and day just to spite that doctor, lol Love that Well she just celebrated 12 years NED! Have faith, get second opinion and take care of your babies. Also look to see if any clinical trials are around you that may offer hope.

FANTASTIC post, Marylandmaniac! This is exactly how I feel!

[Sharon Brent]

Hi,
Sorry about your Rubbish treatment from that crap Quack,
listen, no matter what any doctor says remember one thing which my a Husband always used to say,
Jesus Christ Bo Dibia Orkwu
Which means
Jesus Christ is the Greatest Doctor
I will Pray for you that you get a better person to help your husband, but never loose hope, God always has a plan, it's just that sometimes we don't always agree with his decisions.
Keep Strong in your Faith but also your body, don't forget to look after yourself so you can support your Husband and look after your Girls.

[jhocno197]

I agree with the above posters.

I am sorry.

[Newmol]

i am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this. I think that a second opinion is a good idea. Your family is in my prayers.