Welcome to the club nobody ever wants to join, but you will find some of the best people and advice around with regards to colorectal cancer. Yeah, waiting totally sucks and it's amazing how the brain can so easily derail your thoughts to cancer, cancer, cancer. I imagine it is how we all felt after getting our initial diagnoses, you are totally not alone in that department. While you will most likely be surrounded by love and support from your family and friends, you will also feel so alone because unless they have personally had cancer, it's so overwhelming mentally for anyone else to truly get--and that is what is so great about this forum, we have all been in your shoes and still dealing with the grip of cancer.
Those damn hemorrhoids--they seem to fake quite a few of us out, myself included! So are you dealing with colon cancer correct, if it is in sigmoid? I had rectal cancer so different treatment route, but usually the same chemo drugs (Folfox, etc). Best to go with a colorectal surgeon (board certified) as they specialize in surgery of the colon and rectum and you want to be in the best possible hands to get the best results.
Good idea to wait to tell your kids and the rest of your circle of friends until you know more details and are starting to get more of a plan of action in place. I have two boys who were 13 and 16 at the time of my diagnosis last August and we sat down as a family and talked it out and I always let them know they could ask me whatever whenever. I would like to think it hasn't affected them drastically and if anything, it has helped them to be more caring and empathetic. I want to see them grow up and graduate, marry, start families--that is absolutely what motivates me on my roughest days. And my husband has been so loving and amazing and I want to grow old together and try to repay him in kind for his unwavering love and support.
8/3/15 Went in with a hemorrhoid, came out with a tumor
8/12/15 Biopsy from colonoscopy confirms RC (45 yrs old--zero family history!)
9/21 - 10/29/15 chemorad 28 tx (with Xeloda)
12/17/15 APR with perm colostomy
Pathology report stages me as IIIA (T2N1M0)--1/15 LN detects cancer
2/3/16 chemo port inserted
2/8-6/2/16 8 rounds of Folfox