TEN years ago (yesterday)

[weisssoccermom]

It was ten years ago on June 22, 2006 that we (hubby and myself) went into the doctors office and heard the words that no one wants to hear.....'you have cancer'. I had sort of expected it BUT....the thoughts of, 'well, maybe it's just a BIG hemorrhoid' or 'maybe it's benign' kept pushing the cancer idea way back into my mind and not allowing the nasty diagnosis to rear its ugly head.

Even though I was staged as a stage IIA, I didn't have an easy time...mostly because of my doing. I REALLY didn't like my first surgeon....what an arrogant a--hole (every pun intended). At the time, there was no way I knew the difference between a colorectal and a general surgeon. Heck, if a surgeon said he/she could do the surgery, then they were highly qualified, right?? I had Dr. Googled WAY too much, had become very versed in the terminology and wanted things a certain way...MY WAY. I dutifully went through chemoradiation with a jerk of a rad onc who told me that EVERY patient needed to be on anti-depressants...heck he proudly announced that he was to which my reply was, "well, I think you need to be on a higher dose". My onc was great and I finally though I had found the right surgeon and he (surgeon) scheduled me for an excision on 11/7/2006. When I woke up, hubs was crying, I hadn't the slightest idea what the heck hadn't happened and later learned that the surgeon didn't do a darn thing. He (surgeon) also informed my hubs that I had two years left. WTH???

Fast forward...each and every time I thought something was finally heading in the right direction....BAM! I got knocked down again and again. Allergic reaction to oxi which, at the time, devastated me....sure without that 'wonder' drug, I was certainly doomed. Then, a few weeks later, I ended up with a dozen blood clots....one DVT. Three days in the hospital on the onc floor was enough for me! All the time, I was doing chemo but got worried that they wouldn't allow me to have any more. Saw the same surgeon again in early March 2007. After his rough and extremely painful DRE, he proclaimed that the tumor hadn't shrunk at all, he wouldn't do the surgery I wanted and proceeded to tell me he wanted me to see some surgeon in Chicago....all of which reduced me to tears. I am still, to this day, waiting for that 'referral' to a surgeon he wanted me to see do to some procedure which isn't done anymore because of high complication rates. Less than a week later, I was up in Seattle, seeing a colorectal surgeon who couldn't find the darn thing. Seriously, she kept asking me WHERE the tumor was supposed to be. After 10 minutes or so of REALLY examining me, she finally found a very very tiny scar...said she would have almost missed it had she not been looking for it. I LOVE this surgeon. We talked, she agreed to the excision and 5 weeks later, I was on the operating table (that's a whole different story)....almost didn't get it done...but it was completed. I learned later that back in November, that first surgeon had indicated the tumor was gone (not the story he told us!) but basically chickened out of doing the excision. The pain I experienced from him a week before meeting my surgeon when the first surgeon did the DRE was him hitting my CERVIX!!! He told me that was pain from the tumor! Didn't he know what he was 'hitting"??

Ten years ago, right after my diagnosis, our family went on our annual trip for the 4th of July down to our condo. It was a MISERABLE time....full of crying, soul searching...basically I was miserable and made my family miserable and scared in the process. Now, ten years later....I will be back down there again next week, celebrating our country's independence but this time I won't be crying, scared and certain that I was going to die.

The past ten years have taught me that truly life is too short to be angry, full of remorse, etc. I've been fortunate to watch all of my kiddos graduate both high school and college, see my oldest son get married and just stood in awe as they all grew up, found lives of their own...some close and some way too far away. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to see these things...that I would miss out on Erik's HS and/or college graduation. Now, if my married son would make me a grandma...well, then life would be COMPLETE!! Sigh!!!

Since 2006, I've not only raised my human children, but I've raised and deeply loved my furbabies as well and have suffered through the loss of three of them. I've met so many wonderful people from this board....many of whom I have developed good friendships with. It's been hard to watch as friends like Pammy Sue, Mary, Ashlee, Terry, Belle and Pat have passed on from this disease but it's still wonderful to have the friendship of people like Carolyn who has battled stage IV rectal cancer and survived. My admiration for all of you that have endured all the treatments of chemo, radiation and surgery is immense. I have no idea how you do it week after week and not complain. I am so in awe of Brownbagger....how he does it...I have no idea!

Thank you to this board, to all the members, especially those 'old timers' who have been around for a long time. Regardless of how long you have been fighting this disease or what stage you are, everyone is important, valuable, needed and loved. Ten years ago....I thought my life was over....how wrong I was!

[Bob_Weiss]

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY OLD-TIMER.

[dmondgirl]

God Bless you!!!! you give us hope... I'm the caregiver of my fiance.... and reading stories like yours give us hope that although the process (chemo, radiation, surgery) is not easy... everything will be okay and that there is light at the end of the tunnel!!! My fiance is 3 months out of his surgery still recovery from a small internal leak and awaiting to proceed with the rest of his mop up chemo. God is great!! and we have faith that things will soon be okay!

[DarknessEmbraced]

Thank you for sharing your story! Glad you are doing so well!*hugs* Happy 10 years!

[Rob in PA]

Happy happy ten ten

[CRguy]

Congratulations Jaynee
here's to 10 MORE ! and more and more

Cheers
CRguy

[NedPlease]

YES!!!

[Wilson02]

Congratulations!!!! Learned so much from your posts!

[BrownBagger]

Congratulations! You go, girl.

[Pita]

CONGRATS!!! Love the 10 years, I will follow in your footsteps. Hugs...

[PGLGreg]

What a thrilling drama! I was on the edge of my chair, honest. I thought you were going to die.

I am also a 10 year rectal stage 2a person, but my story is dull as dishwater. On a Monday near the end of November in 2005, the gastroenterologist that my pcp has referred me to, told me his colonoscopy had found a tumor which he was almost sure was cancer, but it was operable. He referred me to a surgeon, operating out of the same hospital near Kailua HI, who I saw the next day, Tuesday. There were some tests, then on Friday, December 2, I was admitted and operated on to remove the cancer. Five days from cancer-found to cancer-killed.

Ten days in the hospital, overlapping my Christmas vacation, made me miss one week of work. Then 6 weeks of radiation and chemo in early 2006, did not make me miss more work.

I never had any reason to question the competence or professionalism of my pcp, gastroenterologist, medical oncologist, or radiation oncologist . My hospital, Castle Medical, is neat, clean, professional, and in a beautiful setting just windward of the Koolau mountains on Oahu. Their nursing contingent seems for some reason to be dominated by young filipina women, who have a tendency to be beautiful.

[stpio]

Great news and tears of joy for your wonderful 10 year milestone!
I was told I had cc 9 years ago after a colonoscopy on June 22, 2007.
I remember finding comfort reading your posts. Thank you! Positive thoughts always

[Ron50]

Hugs Jaynee congratulations on ten and all the best for the future, Ron . ( if I last another year and a half I will make it to 20)

[weisssoccermom]

Thank you to everyone. Ron...you will make it to 20, come back here and post and we will all CELEBRATE with YOU!!!

[Kick'nAssCancer'sAss]

Jaynee congrats on the great news and I want to be just like you.

Seriously when I was dx after a couple months I joined Colon Club. My first post was replied to by Greenmonkey and then yourself. I always appreciated your post and found them most informative and well written. We had similar dx's so I found myself gravitating to your post for comfort and assurance that this beast can be beaten. I don't post much but I do read regularly and just wanted to say thanx again and best of luck going forward.

Mike