Starting Folfox on Monday

[Nik Colon]

Feeling alone, frustrated at others being happy, not knowing how you can keep doing it, food and drink issues and just wanting to enjoy them, the list goes on, on top of feeling like crap and other side effects, It is all normal reaction. Don't feel guilty for having all these feelings. I hope things get better soon. Hugs

[nomoretacos]

Leading up to the next cycle and during the first few days I always say to my partner I don't want to do this anymore, but of course I will continue on, it's just nice to have a bit of a whinge. I think for me a big part of it is the mental aspect, its a lot easier to feel down and in the dumps when you physically feel like crap, I just want to cry and be anything but positive. But as they say it gets better and it does, on my good days I feel perfectly normal and I go out and make the most of it (apart from my continuous hairloss sigh). Are you not having any good days at all Noon? My good days are what gets me through the bad ones.

[Noon32316]

I’ve been meaning to thank you all for comforting me but haven’t even the energy to form coherent thoughts or even type. Before I forget, thank you thank you for helping me feel not alone. The struggle continues with digestion and bm problems. Found out I’m anemic so was put on iron pills. I’ve added prune juice per NP’s advice but not sure how to judge if that’s effective right now because my system is so messed up. My body is royally pissed off. Experimenting to find a manageable regiment is driving me nuts!! Learned that brand name Mylanta is discontinued but Equate antacid has the same active ingredients. I’ll need that by the truckload it seems. Sometimes even drinking water requires a swish of antacid. What the huh…indigestion from water . I don’t want to fear food but yeah, I don’t look at food the same. NP suggested Ensure but I can’t do dairy other than yogurt so did a forum search and noticed some have tried Orgain Vegan, etc. I really wish I could afford to sample around different products. Reality isn’t keeping up with the actual cost of trying different meds, supplements, medical supplies and procedures.
I can’t say I’ve had good days, my measures are based on minutes and hours. And you’re right - I should focus on the good minutes, hours, little moments to get through. One good thing though, my CEA based on April 26 test was less than .5. I had to ask if that’s good bc I just wanted to hear the response. “It’s great!” said the oncologist. They’ll scan me after 6 treatments.

(Nomoretacos, I sigh with you, my hair is shedding like crazy. I thought I was at peace with hair loss but it’s still mildly traumatic to see the rain of hair cascading across the floor.)

Hugs and best wishes to all.

[LaciK]

I downloaded meditations from my integrative medical practitioner which seem to help during chemo (and other times as well). They are available on her website. Her name is Dr. Marilyn Mitchell and her practice is called Healing Space in St. Charles Illinois. She and her staff have helped me greatly during this time. I have been going to Dr. Mitchell since I was 18 years old so she is someone I can trust. Her voice is very calming on the meditations. My mom and sister are always coming up with new things I should try, so Dr. Mitchell acts as a buffer because I can tell them that I will check with her as to what I should do.

One of Dr. Mitchell's staff suggested that I write Love on my chemo pills because love is the highest vibration and receiving love is part of the healing process. It may sound hokey, but I find that the mind is a powerful tool in this fight. Just letting you know what works for me. When I was undergoing radiation treatments, I would visualize something similar to a ghostbusters scenario where all of my supporters were surrounding me in a circle and blasting my tumor. I have no concrete evidence that it helped, but I know the doctor was pleasantly surprised how much the tumor shrank and it gave me something productive to do during that time.

I also purchased over the ears Bluetooth headphones which were comfortable for wear during chemo. I also play inspirational songs as the infusion takes place.

Good luck and stay strong!