Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
Sung to the tune of "Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover"
(Lyrics by jdepp with apologies to Paul Simon)
The problem is all inside your cells, she said to me
And I know that I can't help you with your own psychology
But at least I might do a little something oncologically
There must be fifty ways to leave your cancer
She said I'm sorry but you've already realized
That your lymph nodes and your liver have both metastasized
So I'll repeat myself and then I'll let you fantasize
About the fifty ways to leave your cancer
Fifty ways to leave your cancer
Try a new scan, Stan
A 5fu pack, Jack
A little more oxi, Roxie
Just listen to me
You need a new med, Ted
A clinical trial, Kyle
You don't have to progress, Les
Just get yourself free
Try a new scan, Stan
A 5fu pack, Jack
A little more oxi, Roxie
Just listen to me
You need a new med, Ted
A clinical trial, Kyle
You don't have to progress, Les
Just get yourself free
She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
Take my prescriptions and just maybe you'll see surgery again.
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways?
She said I hope you don't mind severe neuropathy
And nausea, rash, and hair loss are a possibility
Then she dismissed me with a gesture of regret and sympathy
And I thought up other ways to leave your cancer
Fifty ways to leave your cancer
Try a new scan, Stan
A 5fu pack, Jack
A little more oxi, Roxie
Just listen to me
You need a new med, Ted
A clinical trial, Kyle
You don't have to progress, Les
Just get yourself free
Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
Colon dx 08 @ 41 Poorly diff. 12+ liver mets, 19/28 LN
Colon rsx /14 x Folfox-Erbitux 08-09
PVE / Liver rsx 09
Lung & LN mets 10
Folfiri, Xeloda, Avastin 10-13
Xelox, Erbitux, UFUR, TS-1, Oxi, Lonsurf 14-16
Stivarga & TIL trial 16
Brain lesion, RO688 trial 18
Colon rsx /14 x Folfox-Erbitux 08-09
PVE / Liver rsx 09
Lung & LN mets 10
Folfiri, Xeloda, Avastin 10-13
Xelox, Erbitux, UFUR, TS-1, Oxi, Lonsurf 14-16
Stivarga & TIL trial 16
Brain lesion, RO688 trial 18
-
NWgirl
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 3:24 am
- Facebook Username: Belle Piazza
- Location: Battle Ground, Washington
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
That is just to cool!
Belle - "Don't Retreat - Reload"DX 10/07 Stage III Rectal
Surgery 11/07; 27 of 38 nodes
Perm Colostomy 8/11
12/10 recurrence lungs & LN's
VATS Jan 2011
Radiation Oct 2013
Chemo for Life
2012 Colondar Model
Surgery 11/07; 27 of 38 nodes
Perm Colostomy 8/11
12/10 recurrence lungs & LN's
VATS Jan 2011
Radiation Oct 2013
Chemo for Life
2012 Colondar Model
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
I have this vision of Dr. Personality singing this...which may just make me LOL during my next visit if I happen to visualize it while I'm in her exam room.
Well done.
Well done.
Be in harmony with your expectations. - Life Out Loud
4/04: dx'd @48 StageIV RectalCA w/9 liver mets. 8 chemos, 4 surgeries, last remission 34 mos.
2/11 recurrence R lung, spinal bone mets - chemo, RFA lung mets
4/12 stopped treatment
4/04: dx'd @48 StageIV RectalCA w/9 liver mets. 8 chemos, 4 surgeries, last remission 34 mos.
2/11 recurrence R lung, spinal bone mets - chemo, RFA lung mets
4/12 stopped treatment
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
ED and Rilke . . . maybe not. Funny as Hell, definitely! You go, Jed!!!!
mojomojomojomojomojomojomojo
mojomojomojomojomojomojomojo
justsing, 46
Stage IV
colon resection 12/07
Liver resection 04/08
Phase I vaccine trial
liver, lung LN mets
tried Oxi, Iri and Avastin
now trying new chemo combos then sir spheres
College prof in theatre & voice
2 girls 18 & 14, one son 10
Stage IV
colon resection 12/07
Liver resection 04/08
Phase I vaccine trial
liver, lung LN mets
tried Oxi, Iri and Avastin
now trying new chemo combos then sir spheres
College prof in theatre & voice
2 girls 18 & 14, one son 10
-
azahar
- Posts: 275
- Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:49 am
- Facebook Username: shawn.hennessey
- Location: Seville, Spain
- Contact:
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
Excellent! 
DX stage IV May / 08
colon resection May/08
Oxi & Xeloda July/Aug/08
open & close Sept/08, peritoneal mets
liver resection Nov/08
6 rounds Oxi/Xeloda Apr-July/09
NED? so far so good...
http://azahar.wordpress.com/ & http://twitter.com/azahar
colon resection May/08
Oxi & Xeloda July/Aug/08
open & close Sept/08, peritoneal mets
liver resection Nov/08
6 rounds Oxi/Xeloda Apr-July/09
NED? so far so good...
http://azahar.wordpress.com/ & http://twitter.com/azahar
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
That's excellent! You have a great attitude - thanks for sharing a smile today.
Husband DX CC (T2N0M0) 9/06
LAR 9/06
Recurrence, now CRC 1/08
chemo/rad, 6 weeks, ended 5/2/08
2nd LAR/ temp ileo 6/19/08,
8/4/08> 6 months chemo
ileo reversal 4/09, in remission
LAR 9/06
Recurrence, now CRC 1/08
chemo/rad, 6 weeks, ended 5/2/08
2nd LAR/ temp ileo 6/19/08,
8/4/08> 6 months chemo
ileo reversal 4/09, in remission
-
jenhopesprays
- Posts: 523
- Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2008 7:19 pm
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
Jed,
What a hoot!
Jen
What a hoot!
Jen
Stage IV: dx 8/07 at 39.. colon & liver resection & rt ovary
17 rounds of folfox.
12/08 ovary tumor removed with HIPEC & folfiri w/Avastin
9/11 liver resection # 2 followed by chemo
NED
Have Hope with Capitol H
17 rounds of folfox.
12/08 ovary tumor removed with HIPEC & folfiri w/Avastin
9/11 liver resection # 2 followed by chemo
NED
Have Hope with Capitol H
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
I love it
Leigh
diagnosed with colon cancer April 2, 2008, 26 years old
laparoscopic sigmoidectomy May 1, 2008
stage IIIb, 1 of 11 lymph nodes positive
IVM procedure
12 rounds FOLFOX (June- Dec 2008), no oxy rounds 10-12 due to allergic reaction
NED
diagnosed with colon cancer April 2, 2008, 26 years old
laparoscopic sigmoidectomy May 1, 2008
stage IIIb, 1 of 11 lymph nodes positive
IVM procedure
12 rounds FOLFOX (June- Dec 2008), no oxy rounds 10-12 due to allergic reaction
NED
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
Hilarious! Quite a talent you have!
Frances
47, Mom
Rectal tumor (stage III) 1/31/08
6 weeks radiation/5Fu
LAR w/ loop ileo May/08
Folfox 7/08-1/09
Done with chemo 1/2/09!!!
Reversal 10/8/09, ileus, blockage, resection, home after 30 days!
4 years NED!
47, Mom
Rectal tumor (stage III) 1/31/08
6 weeks radiation/5Fu
LAR w/ loop ileo May/08
Folfox 7/08-1/09
Done with chemo 1/2/09!!!
Reversal 10/8/09, ileus, blockage, resection, home after 30 days!
4 years NED!
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
This has got to be one of the best things I've seen since I was diagnosed 5 years ago. Absolute genius! Now that is facing this disease head on!
Stage IIA (T-3,N-0,M-0), sigmoid colon cancer, Diagnosed age 43 on 8/19/03, sigmoid colectomy on 8/30/03, finished 22 rounds of 5-FU & Leukovorin on 6/8/2004. Currently NED!
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
I've printed this off, and the copies will be forwarded around the cancer center tomorrow. Thanks!
Diagnosed 5/24/07 Lobular Breast Cancer; 5/25/07 Stage IV Colon Cancer
Colon/Liver Resection 6/21/07. Folfox/Avastin/5FU July 07-Feb.08.
NERD Oct. '07; NED since Feb. '08
http://theboggsfamily.blogspot.com/
Colon/Liver Resection 6/21/07. Folfox/Avastin/5FU July 07-Feb.08.
NERD Oct. '07; NED since Feb. '08
http://theboggsfamily.blogspot.com/
-
seussfan
- Posts: 739
- Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:50 pm
- Facebook Username: Trish Lannon
- Location: Maryland
- Contact:
Re: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Cancer
Awesome! I just sent a copy to my oncology nurse!
Stage 3 Colon Cancer-6 of 15 lymph nodes positive/Surgery & Dx 3-5-07/Finished Folfox4 11-28-07
Stage 0/Grade 3 Breast Cancer/Double mastectomy 5-15-09/Undergoing reconstruction
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/trishlannon
2009 Colondar Model
Stage 0/Grade 3 Breast Cancer/Double mastectomy 5-15-09/Undergoing reconstruction
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/trishlannon
2009 Colondar Model
Return to “Colon Talk - Colon cancer (colorectal cancer) support forum”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], Pagola44 and 150 guests