MIA for to long

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tdsamal
Posts: 619
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 12:49 am
Facebook Username: malby.tammy
Location: Salem Oregon

MIA for to long

Postby tdsamal » Sun Mar 27, 2016 10:57 pm

It’s been way to long of a time since I have even logged into my page I have thought about the reasons why I have not been on the board for a while and I could only think of 2 reasons. No I wasn’t mad, even when the board would get hot. I’d just ignore it until it cooled down, that is unless they bashed the admins then I would be vocal. Don’t you dare bash my admins!
#1 Chemo has not been kind to me and I didn’t want to scare anyone into thinking that they would have to deal with what I have been though. I don’t understand all the technical stuff about cancer so I could only offer encouragement and support. It’s hard to encourage someone when you feel like crap!
#2 Emotionally it is so hard for me when we lose a fellow member on this board. When we lost Belle, Voxx and others my heart just ached. Even though I had never met these people we shared something in common and I felt like they were my very best friends. I’d mourn for them and their families and wonder how my family would react when I was gone. I just broke my heart time and time again. I needed a break and now I need some encouragement.
Most of you won’t know me at all because you are so new but those of you that have been around a while will remember me. I was dx 6.5 years ago stage 4. My second round of chemo in 2014 just about did me in. I spent more time in the hospital after I finished chemo than when I was on it. I struggled into 2015 still not doing great and was told in August that they wanted to remove my lower lobe of my left lung. Which gave me hope. Well by Oct we found out that my cancer had returned so that was tabled. Began round number 3 immediately, again it is no walk in the park. I have 4 txts left and I’m determined to make it. The problem is my side effects are getting horrible. My onc sits and listens to me but says that they are all normal for my chemo and it will get better. Just the thought of 2 more months feeling like this is hard to fathom. Just writing this is making me feel better about it. Thanks for listening!
Tammy
Dx st IV CC & colon resection 11/09
Way to much to list
Last recurrence December 2017

Soccermom2boys
Posts: 218
Joined: Tue Nov 10, 2015 10:29 pm

Re: MIA for to long

Postby Soccermom2boys » Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:38 am

Hi Tammy. Glad you are back in that this is the place to come to when you need the encouragement that only fellow CRC people can give. While I cannot compare my four rounds of FOLFOX so far to your history of chemo treatments, I can 100% agree with you that it does suck in many ways and yes, it is very hard to keep pushing yourself forward and being positive when you feel like crap from the treatments that are hopefully saving your body from cancer's grip. Hopefully we can bolster you back up to slug out your remaining rounds. I have four more to go myself and hate the thought of them, but know I will eventually get to the other side, just not sure how my mental and physical status will be by then. I just take each treatment one day at a time and look for my non treatment weeks to help get my morale up for the next round. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that each round, as sucky as they can be, gets us one round closer to the finish. And really, given our situation, it's perfectly normal and ok to just not always be feeling upbeat. I saw that movie Inside Out back in the fall and what I really appreciated about it was that you just can't have a life full of joy 24/7--just not realistic and we need a variety of emotions to round us out. Maybe during your next round if you haven't seen that movie, check it out--will be a good mental distraction.

I have about two more months to go myself and that does seem painfully far away, but then I try to think back two months ago to where I was then and that helps me to see the time will pass and I will somehow get through these next two months. I will look forward to replying back to this post in two months and saying "hey--we did it!" :)
8/3/15 Went in with a hemorrhoid, came out with a tumor
8/12/15 Biopsy from colonoscopy confirms RC (45 yrs old--zero family history!)
9/21 - 10/29/15 chemorad 28 tx (with Xeloda)
12/17/15 APR with perm colostomy
Pathology report stages me as IIIA (T2N1M0)--1/15 LN detects cancer
2/3/16 chemo port inserted
2/8-6/2/16 8 rounds of Folfox

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BrownBagger
Posts: 7954
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:56 pm
Location: Central NYS

Re: MIA for to long

Postby BrownBagger » Mon Mar 28, 2016 7:24 am

Welcome back, Tammy. Good to see you.
Eric, 58
Dx: 3/09, Stage 4 RC
Recurrences: (ongoing, lung, bronchial cavity, ribs)
Major Ops: 6/ RFA: 3 /bronchoscopies: 8
Pelvic radiation: 5 wks. Bronchial radiation—brachytheray: 3 treatments
Chemo Rounds (career):136
Current Chemo Cocktail: Xeloda & Erbitux & Irinotecan biweekly
Current Cocktail; On the Wagon (mostly)
Bicycle miles post-dx 10,477
Motto: Live your life like it's going to be a long one, because it just might, and then you'll be glad you did.

JJ2212
Posts: 268
Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Montréal, QC

Re: MIA for to long

Postby JJ2212 » Mon Mar 28, 2016 8:22 am

Welcome back Tammy!

Sorry that chemo is kicking your butt hard. I wish I had the perfect words of encouragement for you, but I don't.

Take care,

Janie
Rectal cancer dx 04/13 @ 42, MSS, KRAS positive
T3N2M1 (1 lung met)
5 weeks xeloda+radiation finished 07/13
APR 9/13 (permanent colostomy), 27/31 nodes positive :-(
12 rounds of FOLFOX 04/14
Lung met growth 11/14
26 cycles Regorafenib (Stivarga) from 11/15 to 01/17
New lung met and chest/neck lymph nodes 01/17
1 cycle Folfiri

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CRguy
Posts: 10245
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: MIA for to long

Postby CRguy » Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:02 pm

NOW you are back ...
you don't be no stranger ... you hear ??? :mrgreen:

Cheers and Harmony sista'
CR
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
13 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

orcasres
Posts: 836
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:23 pm
Location: Orcas Island, WA

Re: MIA for to long

Postby orcasres » Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:29 pm

Welcome back Tammy. We missed you. Lois
63 yo F
Colon resection Sept. 2010
pT3N0M0 Stage 2A
Medullary Tumor 6.5cm long
Lymphovascular invasion
Lynch negative
12 FOLFOX 11/2010 to 5/2011 8 w/Oxi
NED so far

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chrissyrice
Posts: 1171
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 8:44 am
Location: Atlanta, Georgia

Re: MIA for to long

Postby chrissyrice » Mon Mar 28, 2016 10:54 pm

Tammy, I do remember you and glad to hear from you.

I understand about the loss of people we have been connected to over the years and it is hard to be here and missing the wisdom.

Guess you and us long termers ( :wink: ) at times can offer some help and support to others.

It's amazing that since dx some 6+ years ago that there are so many new treatments and hope for better outcomes.

Take care,

Chrissy
DX 10-31-09 Surgery 12-1-09 Sigmoid Colon
Stage IIIb T3,N2,MX; Chemo Feb 2010-Aug 2010; 4 rounds Folfox; 8 rounds 5FU +LV
12/2010 PET/CT Scan, Cancer Free
7/2012 CT Scan NED 2 years
10/2013 NED 3 years
8/2014 NED 4 years
Recurrence 6/2015: iliac lymph node(s)
8/2015 Surgery: 3 cm tumor removed+iliac artery graft
3/2016 CT Scan Stable
6/2016 Stable
9/2016 Stable
12/2016 Stable
3/2017 Stable
Recurrence 6/2017
12/2017 Surgery removed all cancer w/ clean margins
07-27-2018 Cancer-free for 7 months

Delinda2
Posts: 483
Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 6:28 pm
Location: Washington state

Re: MIA for to long

Postby Delinda2 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:52 pm

Hi Tammy, nice to hear from you. I understand exactly what you mean by needing a break from the group. I did the same thing after we lost some beloved members. Just needed some space. But when I was dx with my second primary recently, this was the first place I turned. Who else could understand? Who else knows the anxiety of waiting to see if I'm even eligible for surgery? How frustrating it was to have a second port put in my chest? To find it so much harder to put on a happy face? So, I figure that we come & go as we need to, and just like the other questions, who else would understand? I do Tammy. Hugs. XXOXO, Delinda
63 yrs,wife & mom
4/14 dx colon cancer,3C,9/22 nodes
Lymphatic,venous,&perineural invasion
<1cm margin,poorly differentiated
6/14 colostomy take down
7/14 FOLFOX w/9 Nulasta shots
2/16 dx new primary of sigmoid colon
6/16 surgery-rescection on sigmoid, total hysterectomy, temp ileo, stage 4
"I AM the storm."

jens22
Posts: 1012
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:26 am
Facebook Username: jspirio
Location: Long Island, NY

Re: MIA for to long

Postby jens22 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:04 pm

So glad to hear from you tammy. I know how you feel. We've lost so many and Belle, Voxx and so many others who were at the Begining of this group. People who met on a daily basis. My prayers are to you...to stay strong.. Chemo has been very hard on you and you need to keep on living your life and enjoying each day. Find something good everyday.
Colonoscopy 3/10 for ? hemmorrhoid.
Diag Colon Cancer 3 days later
Colon Ressection 3/30/10
Stage 3B 5/14 Nodes positive.
Power Port and 7 months of Chemo
Port removed 11/11
8 negative Cat Scans..... 10 years cancer free and Discharged from Sloane Kett!!
Diag age 47 , now 57 Mom of 3 boys.


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