I know what you mean. It's like when you are trying to get pregnant and everywhere you look there are women with babies or pregnant women. The fact is, they were there all the time, but now you notice them more because of your situation. The same thing happened with me right after I was diagnosed--I would pick up an innocent looking book or turn on a movie that was supposed to be romantic to distract myself and halfway through-bam, someone gets diagnosed with cancer. It seemed to be everywhere, but it was just because I was more sensitive to it.
I'm sorry you are going through this and about all I can say is it sucks that you have to, but this is a great board with a lot of support and advice and you've come to the right place. Keep a copy of all your medical records and tests, jot down any questions you have for the doctor when you think of them or you might forget, ask your doctor for ativan or something else for anxiety if you need it, and just try to take this one day at a time. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so you have to prepare for it. Remember that there are no stupid or silly questions, so don't be afraid to ask anything or vent if you need to or share your good news, large or small, on here. No one will judge you and sometimes it's easier for someone who is going through it or has been through it to understand than it is for your spouse or friends. And sometimes your spouse, family, and friends might drive you bonkers even thought they are acting out of love and this board is a safe place to say the things you can't or wouldn't say to them. People mean well, but sometimes, they say and do insensitive things.
I'm glad you found us but I'm sorry you had the need to.
Judy