I lost my husband, the love of my life.

[WorriedWife]

I haven't been in here in quite some time. I was becoming so sad and it's so painful to watch everything we go through, being a patient, family member, and caregiver. I was a wife and a caregiver. Some of you may remember me - worriedwife. Yes, so worried, day and night since the beginning of dx in July of 2012. Now my hubby, my best friend, the love of my life for 28 years is gone. I am really, really struggling and by the urging of some friends have started up a fundraiser online. I know a lot of people are also struggling and I am not expecting a lot, but every single dollar will help. I am trying to make my house payment and get my car fixed. I am so lost. My family is very small and my mom lives on social security. I appreciate you reading this.

Thank you, worriedwife

Here is the link to read our story.

https://www.gofundme.com/ut4m3v58?utm_s ... gn=darlt_n

[Steph20021]

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and the mounting financial struggle you are going through. I wish you success with your fundraiser and hope things turn a corner for you Sue.

[midlifemom]

So sorry you lost your true love.

[WorriedWife]

Thank you so much Steph and midlifemom. I am just so lost I used to come in here non-stop for over a year, day and night and I read all I could until the wee hours of the morning. I am so sad.

[DarknessEmbraced]

My deepest condolences for the loss of your husband!*hugs* Sorry you are having such a hard time financially!*hugs*

[jean60]

I do remember you and I am so very sorry you lost your love.

Jean

[Maggie Nell]

Well, you've had a jolly dreadful time and you seem quite traumatized. You have not mentioned
when your husband died, is this going to be your first Christmas-holiday as a widow?

Regarding the housing and economic stressors you have, I recall reading something about financial
help that is available for cancer families. It would be really helpful if you have a discussion with a
financial advisor and circle some wagons. Contact helping agencies such as St Vincent's de Paul
who can and do give a helping hand with practical assitance to pay utility bills, food, essential repairs,
clothing etc.

Just a link I googled up http://www.svdpsb.org/

You are still in the land of the living, as excruciating as that feels - get busy living and turn the
hose on those wolves at your door. It shrinks them!

How has your catholic faith and understanding of god survived this ordeal? Do you have a
spiritual community to lean into? How is your self-care with eating, sleeping, taking walks, giving
expression to anger, that sense of being robbed and cheated. Let 'er rip!

“Imagine you are a beautiful hand blown glass vase with exquisite colour and form sitting on a
sideboard and much admired. When major trauma happens the beautiful glass vase that you are
gets knocked off the table and smashes on the floor splintering into thousands of pieces. Most
rush quickly to gather the pieces and try valiantly to hold it all together, to appear like they used
to be by holding all the pieces together with anything they can. But there is no way to do this of
course.

Some, with good therapeutic support coupled with the support of loving family and community,
will slowly learn that there is no becoming what they were … but they just might become a
beautiful mosaic instead!”

image source https://mosaicartsource.wordpress.com/

[WorriedWife]

Oh Jean 60, I remember you too. I hope you are doing well. You are so sweet, we used to have long chats. Big Hug to you!!!!

[wandalein]

First I want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. It seems our husband's were diagnosed almost at the same time and we've been married for almost the same amount of time. I am confused your husband was dx as stage 2B how did this happen so quickly. What happened?

[Kathleen808]

I am so very sorry Sue. I hope you get all the support you need. Sending love.

Aloha,
Kathleen