brentaaron235 wrote:[...] There's something else that unexpectedly seems to make the whole process that much harder. People.
I understand that there are people who care about me, who want to help, but the fact is, most of their helping is the opposite. There are people who seem almost happy I have cancer, because now they get to be "a part of something". It's exciting and novel, and provides the opportunity to show everyone else how "caring" and "compassionate" they are. It ends up being an exercise in selfishness rather than in aiding me. Or there are those people who attempt to sugar-coat everything and act like its "no big deal", which is terribly frustrating and hurtful since it is a very big deal to me. I'd much rather someone acknowledge "yes Brent this really really sucks", rather than adding the facade of "everything is fine". Because everything is not fine. I understand the motivation to keep me positive, but that's not my issue. It doesn't help ignoring the reality of the situation. [...] And then there are those people who I thought loved me, but just stopped talking to me and stopped telling me they love me. I guess maybe they are afraid. I'm not sure.
Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate that there are people in my life who want to care and help, but most times they miss the mark. Which is why I've come here, because I've been feeling terribly alone in all of this. My life is forever changed, and no one "gets it". [...]
brentaaron235 wrote:So I've just been blessed with a body that makes cancer? The doctors say it's an anomaly. I guess that makes me feel special.
Yeah, you have to watch them doctors when they make appeals to your narcissism!There's something else that unexpectedly seems to make the whole process that much harder. People.
I know.....this planet is infested with them. Who knew???!I understand that there are people who care about me, who want to help, but the fact is, most of their helping is the opposite. There are people who seem almost happy I have cancer, because now they get to be "a part of something". It's exciting and novel, and provides the opportunity to show everyone else how "caring" and "compassionate" they are. It ends up being an exercise in selfishness rather than in aiding me.
Welcome to your Higher Purpose ~ you have now been upgraded to existing as a demonstration for other people's goodness. Of being their
learning curve; of being the anecdote in their Starbuck conversational one-upmanship on whose friend has the worst cancer....I also live in an area of the world where there are a lot of "alternative" people who hold fast to alternative methods of doing everything, and I get constant pressure to forego conventional treatment in favour of more wholistic and natural processes. So when someone tells me "wow man, I'd much rather pump my body full of vitamin c to shrink the tumour instead of radiation!", or when a well intentioned woman tells me "I don't believe you need intervention to heal yourself. I have a friend who is an energy healer and I think you would benefit more from this",
Repeat this mantra: I am not a martyr for other people's belief systems. And tell them to grow their own bleeding cancer....
Consider living in a RV so you can make quick get-aways and so you can quip oopsy daisy, I think my karma just ran over your dogma!Show them a picture of my bloody undergarments because the bleeding is near uncontrollable, .
And that was how HYPATIA dealt with folk who didn't quite grasp the reality of being human.
brentaaron235 wrote: [...] I have a lot to look forward to. On December 14th I start 5 weeks of radiation, chemotherapy simultaneously. After recovery from this I will have a low-anterior resection with a temporary loop ileostomy (to be reversed approximately 6 months or more after the surgery). Then more chemo after surgery (I'm not sure exactly how long this will be for, but I will learn the details of my chemotherapy on Dec 10th) [ ...]
OCT 2015 DX Rectal Cancer
NOV 2015 Initial staging: Stage III-B
DEC 2015 Start neoadjuvant chemo-rad , 5 weeks
FEB 2016 LAR + diverting Ileostomy surgery
FEB 2016 Path report; final staging
MAR 2016 Adjuvant chemotherapy, 4 months
AUG 2016 Ileostomy reversal
SEP 2016 Follow-up period (5 years)
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