JudeD59 wrote:I think the very nature of this board makes it difficult to be a long-term contributor. We are all like wounded animals, to one degree or another, and wounded animals can react in unpredictable ways. Some are grateful to be helped with their problems and pain while others lash out at anyone who gets too close because of their pain and desperation. Any message board will have it's ups and downs, but a message board filled with people who are sick, exhausted, frustrated, dealing with life and death issues, in pain, and often grieving is like a powder keg waiting for a spark. It's amazing how few skirmishes there are on here when you consider what we are dealing with and are dealing with to so many different degrees. Good news is important to be shared, but also carries guilt because others aren't receiving good news about their journey. Bad news is also important to share, but it's so painful to read it and feel so helpless to do anything to relieve the member's suffering.
I've only been here since April and have already been heartbroken to read about the passing of members whose posts I read and enjoyed and whose journey I witnessed for a short time. I can't begin to imagine what it's like for those who knew those members well and considered them friends. There are days when I open the main page and read just the thread titles and know I'm not in a good place to read the posts within the threads, so I click the page shut. I wait until I feel stronger emotionally and then come back and try to offer whatever I can in the way of support or advice or comfort. But it never feels like enough and I get frustrated that I can't do more to help.
I think those who have been here for years and have weathered the loss of so many good friends yet still open the page and try to help new members over and over again are heroes. I'm not sure where you find the strength or the kindness, but I'm so thankful that you do because your compassion, knowledge, and experience are priceless to the rest of us. I can understand wanting or needing to take a break from the board now and then, but I hope you'll always find your way back because we value all that you share plus we would miss knowing how you are doing and hearing your updates.
If the board feels empty in some way and you feel like you don't know members as well as you used to, one solution might be to have more off topic threads. It's a little hard to get to know someone and click with them when you are only answering medical questions, but you may find a connection with someone while discussing favorite TV shows, music, movies, food, recipes, whatever. As an added bonus, those threads will provide members with a pleasant distraction when the board is experiencing a lot of bad news threads. Just a suggestion.
Don't Stop Believin'
Judy
KWT wrote:We just lost another last week. Richard, 792 views and less than twenty replies. You'll have that beat by noon today. that's what happens.
JudeD59 wrote:KWT wrote:We just lost another last week. Richard, 792 views and less than twenty replies. You'll have that beat by noon today. that's what happens.
It's not always easy to know what to say, Kenny. I am one of the views and I was very sorry to hear of Richard's passing, but after twenty people have said, "My sympathies to his family and friends," should we keep posting the same? I'm asking seriously here. If you have a specific memory or favorite story about the person who passed, I think it's wonderful to share it, but if you don't, it's hard to know what to post. What would you have liked to have seen on Richard's thread? What would honor him in the best way?
Judy
dianetavegia wrote:Do you think Glenn is dead? I don't. I think Heath went back and somehow saved him. Someone saved him for sure.
Diane
KWT wrote:JudeD59 wrote:KWT wrote:We just lost another last week. Richard, 792 views and less than twenty replies. You'll have that beat by noon today. that's what happens.
It's not always easy to know what to say, Kenny. I am one of the views and I was very sorry to hear of Richard's passing, but after twenty people have said, "My sympathies to his family and friends," should we keep posting the same? I'm asking seriously here. If you have a specific memory or favorite story about the person who passed, I think it's wonderful to share it, but if you don't, it's hard to know what to post. What would you have liked to have seen on Richard's thread? What would honor him in the best way?
Judy
It was an observation. Carry on.
JudeD59 wrote:I think the very nature of this board makes it difficult to be a long-term contributor. We are all like wounded animals, to one degree or another, and wounded animals can react in unpredictable ways. Some are grateful to be helped with their problems and pain while others lash out at anyone who gets too close because of their pain and desperation. Any message board will have it's ups and downs, but a message board filled with people who are sick, exhausted, frustrated, dealing with life and death issues, in pain, and often grieving is like a powder keg waiting for a spark. It's amazing how few skirmishes there are on here when you consider what we are dealing with and are dealing with to so many different degrees. Good news is important to be shared, but also carries guilt because others aren't receiving good news about their journey. Bad news is also important to share, but it's so painful to read it and feel so helpless to do anything to relieve the member's suffering.
I've only been here since April and have already been heartbroken to read about the passing of members whose posts I read and enjoyed and whose journey I witnessed for a short time. I can't begin to imagine what it's like for those who knew those members well and considered them friends. There are days when I open the main page and read just the thread titles and know I'm not in a good place to read the posts within the threads, so I click the page shut. I wait until I feel stronger emotionally and then come back and try to offer whatever I can in the way of support or advice or comfort. But it never feels like enough and I get frustrated that I can't do more to help.
I think those who have been here for years and have weathered the loss of so many good friends yet still open the page and try to help new members over and over again are heroes. I'm not sure where you find the strength or the kindness, but I'm so thankful that you do because your compassion, knowledge, and experience are priceless to the rest of us. I can understand wanting or needing to take a break from the board now and then, but I hope you'll always find your way back because we value all that you share plus we would miss knowing how you are doing and hearing your updates.
If the board feels empty in some way and you feel like you don't know members as well as you used to, one solution might be to have more off topic threads. It's a little hard to get to know someone and click with them when you are only answering medical questions, but you may find a connection with someone while discussing favorite TV shows, music, movies, food, recipes, whatever. As an added bonus, those threads will provide members with a pleasant distraction when the board is experiencing a lot of bad news threads. Just a suggestion.
Don't Stop Believin'
Judy
KWT wrote:We just lost another last week. Richard, 792 views and less than twenty replies. You'll have that beat by noon today. that's what happens.
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